How to be a great negotiator, in 10 psychological keys

Human beings are social beings, so we have to live with other people to achieve emotional balance and mental and material well-being. This means that we cannot always do what we want to do, but rather in different everyday life situations, whether with our partner or our friends, we often have to negotiate to reach formal and informal agreements.

In fact, knowing how to negotiate with your partner is one of the keys for a relationship to work, because the relationship is a matter of two, and each one has their own needs.

Another scenario in which we usually have constant negotiations is, for example,the workplace. We may have to negotiate an employment contract or resolve a labor dispute. In fact, there are professional negotiators who do just that.

How to be a good negotiator

But regardless of whether it is in everyday life or at work, What do we need to be good negotiators? How does a good negotiator behave?

Below you can find 10 psychological keys to achieve it.

1. Actively listen

Listening is as important as speaking. But, on many occasions, we hear more than we listen. Especially in a negotiation, it is essential

pay attention to full communication from the other side of the negotiating table.

This includes not only verbal language, but non-verbal language is just as important. It is crucial that you recognize what others really want, and not just what they express in words. This is essential whether we are negotiating, for example, a workers' agreement, or if we have discussed with our partner and we want to know their true needs.

• If you want to know more about how to listen actively, you can read our article: "Active listening: the key to communicating with others"

2. You must be assertive

Being assertive is one of the great qualities of a negotiator. This term refers to expressing your opinion correctly while you defend your point of view and, at the same time, respect the rights of others. It is a non-invasive form of communication, in which you feel secure in what you offer, always within the framework of cordiality and tolerance towards the opinions of others.

• Related article: "Assertive people: 10 characteristics they have in common"

3. Self confidence

Good negotiators trust themselves and are not afraid to show themselves this way.

If what we want is to convince the other person that our point of view makes a lot of sense, We must do it decisively and getting the message to the other person that we believe in what we say.

Trusting yourself allows you to hear what the other person wants to say, because, if you are insecure, you will be on the defensive. People who do not trust themselves will give in to the first change, because they have great difficulty showing their point of view and saying "no."

4. Don't expect to get everything you want

You must be clear that it is a negotiation and that, in many cases, you will not achieve everything you set out to do. You must learn to give in because the other person (or people) also have their needs. Is about reach a point where both parties are going to improve in some way.

5. Do not give in without receiving anything in return

Don't expect to get everything you set your mind to does not mean that you must constantly give in without achieving anything in return, because you will be sending a message to the other actor in the negotiation that you do not really trust what you offer, which can cause them to demand even more of you.

You have to assert yourself and if they want to change something of what you propose, that you win something too.

6. Master persuasion

Persuasion is an essential skill to be a negotiator, and it is the ability we have to convince to other individuals to do something they did not intend to do. Persuasion is an art, and there are different techniques that you can apply in the negotiating environment.

• Check them out in this article: "The 10 most effective persuasion techniques"

7. Be optimistic and open

In a negotiation you must be optimistic and open. Even if there are moments of tension, you should never lose your temper. An open attitude will generally be beneficial. If, on the other hand, you notice that the atmosphere is very tense, it is better to stop the negotiation for a few minutes, take a little fresh air, and return with a renewed attitude.

8. You must be empathetic

Empathy is the ability to put ourselves on the other's feet and understand their needs. Undoubtedly, this is a quality that every negotiator must possess. Empathy also helps us regulate our own behavior and adapt it to the situation and the interlocutor with whom we negotiate.

• Related text: "Are you empathetic? 10 typical traits of empathic people"

9. Do not take it to the personal terrain

You should not forget that in a negotiation each one is going to ask for what interests him the most and, sometimes, it can clash with your vision or way of doing things. Each individual has different tastes and needs, you should not take it as an attack on yourself.

10. Take your time and control your emotions

Negotiating is not always easy and, on occasions, sticking points may appear that must be treated delicately. It is important that you know it and that you have patience. Human beings are emotional beings, but in a negotiation we must keep a cool head and not lose sight of our objectives.