5 problems of breakups, and how to deal with them

The love breakups they are often a drama. It is seen how the love story that had lived comes to an end, and that not only changes our perspective about how our future is going to be, but also makes us rethink what the true nature of the couple's relationship has been that we have shared with the other person.

Of course, the emotional impact of breaking up with your partner can be overwhelming; It is a kind of wall of new feelings that hits us almost suddenly, if we are the ones who decide to cut, or in an instant, if it is the other person who cuts with us. However, this does not mean that several challenges and problems (both psychological and material) to be faced in a couple breakup.

Recovering from a breakup by dealing with your problems

Taking this blow to our emotions and recognizing in it different problems relatively separate from each other can be helpful when recovering from a breakup.

Let's see what are some of these challenges that romantic breakups involve, and how to deal with them in order to move on with our lives.

1. The breakdown affects self-image

Seeing yourself so affected by the breakup can damage your self-image. After all, for a period that can last days or weeks, we notice how we become a more emotionally vulnerable person, with a greater propensity to cry and, at times, more isolated and alone.

If you are used to living with a self-esteem that gives us back a very idealized vision of ourselves (and related to the values ​​and characteristics most valued by our culture, which tend to hold in high esteem the toughness of character and the autonomy) this experience can hurt us in this sense too.

The way to overcome this is to learn to accept this aspect of our personality as something of our own and human, something that also defines us. Reconciling with our most emotional face is essential.

2. Friendship with the other person can be lost

Couple breakups are also difficult because they force us to pose a painful dilemma: How do we relate to the other person from now on?

The indecision between not knowing whether to permanently cut off contact or maintain a friendly relationship aggravated by the fact of not knowing if we will be able to carry out either of these two options. And, of course, to that we have to add that we have to respect the decisions made by the ex-partner in that regard.

It is recommended that, by default, After a short period of no contact, you have some weekly contact with the other person again (if the two of you agree) and decide how the relationship will continue depending on what each person experiences. In this way we will not be subject to social conventions and we will make the relationship with this person adapt to what each one honestly feels.

Related article: "6 problems and 6 advantages of getting back with your ex-partner"

3. It appears a long time to fill with something

One of the things that makes breakups painful is that the routine we were used to is broken. If the breakup is total and we do not maintain contact with the ex-partner, the feeling of loneliness can dominate a good part of our day to day unless we do something about it.

One of the keys to mitigate this problem and to move little by little towards the normalization of the Being single is forcing yourself to socialize with other people, even if that's uncomfortable for you. U.S. For this, it is good to rely on friendships, but you do not necessarily have to depend on them: the question is get out of the comfort zone and lose the fear of starting new conversations with new people. If we do not force ourselves, it is very possible that we remain for a long time in a state of inactivity in which melancholy, boredom and, perhaps, obsessive behaviors are mixed.

Finding new hobbies is also very positive, but we must try that these do not isolate us more and more.

4. Mutual friends could get lost too

If the relationship has lasted long enough and has been connected to a more or less rich social life, it more likely it is that both members have come to bond with mutual friends, of the couple and of one same. Cutting off the relationship can jeopardize these ties if you opt for total or partial isolation with the other person. However, it is worth appreciating that many of these friendships have value on their own, and not only within the community formed around the relationship from which we have emerged.

As always, here communication and honesty are essential. But we also have to examine ourselves and ask ourselves if what it really is to maintain a friendship or to have a communication channel with the ex-partner.

5. Improvement can be perceived as a bad thing

In most cases, the sadness related to the breakup tends to disappear over time. This sounds like a good thing, and in many cases it is, but it can also be double-edged, as makes us wonder what the relationship we have been through really meant.

If we perceive that we have recovered "excessively quickly" from the breakup, this can make us feel bad, not seeing a way of seeing how significant this relationship was, and believing that time has been wasted or that a lie. It is a very subtle type of pain, related to existential crisis.

There is no simple way to face this challenge that is posed to us when looking back and reformulating what we lived during the time in which we lived with the other person: everyone has to find a way to reconcile with their past. And this is bad and good at the same time.