How to close an emotional cycle, in 6 steps

Humans we tend to experience our surroundings as if it were a narrative.

Beyond the knowledge that describes things, as encyclopedias and manuals do, we like see things interpreting them as if they were stories: not something fixed and immobile, but something fluid and in movement. Our own identity, without going any further, is a set of memories about ourselves that we are unconsciously animating to give it a narrative form: from the past to the future.

For this reason, we also experience emotions as if they were narrative arcs. In this article we will see how to close an emotional cycle and, in this way, to be able to turn the page and give dynamism to our psychological development, avoiding stagnation.

• Related article: "The 8 types of emotions (classification and description)"

What is closing an emotional cycle?

By closing emotional cycles we understand the fact of assigning a meaning of completion to a stage of our life. That is, to feel that it has had a beginning, a development and an end. However, beyond this simple definition, there is an emotional factor linked to the feeling of personal development. It is not the same to feel that a stage of our lives has ended, than to feel that it has ended and

also realize that this has made us improve.

It is essential that when closing emotional cycles there are reasons to believe in this evolution and sense of improvement. Otherwise, a fear of being able to make the same mistakes as before is very likely, since nothing has been learned from them.

The desire for completion

If we aspire to close emotional cycles by giving meaning to a past stage, it is because in general we do not like to live together with the tension generated by the idea that there are pending things in our lives.

This phenomenon is called the Zeigarnik effect, and it tells us that we pay more attention to those things that we feel are not over. If what we are trying to do is overcome a phase of life that has been colored by sadness and in General emotional pain, obsessions with the feeling of not moving forward can make us feel stagnant.

This creates a paradox: there is a desire to finish this stage, but as time goes by, less and less is believed in that exit. For this reason, closing the emotional cycle is important so as not to fall into self-fulfilling prophecy (pessimism reduces our chances of moving forward).

• You may be interested: "Zeigarnik effect: the brain does not support being left half"

How to emotionally end stages of our lives

To move on to another chapter in your life, follow these helpful guidelines when ending an emotional cycle.

1. Think about the beginning of the cycle

Have a clear photograph of the moment when the emotional cycle began helps to identify what may lead us to close it. For example, the appearance of a problem (the illness of a relative, a dismissal from work, etc.).

2. Reflect on how you felt

It is necessary to go beyond the simple description of objective facts. Stop and think about what your emotional reaction was in this first phase of the cycle, both in its positive and negative aspects.

3. Remember how you tried to move forward

At this point, remember what initiatives you had to move the situation forward, both in the objective criteria and in those that have to do with your feelings.

4. Don't skip your mistakes

Mistakes and failures are inherent in life, and keeping them out of our memories does not help. if what we want is to make sense to us. In short, we must learn from them to be able to notice that the most significant events of this stage led us to a final stage in which we closed the cycle.

5. Think about the direction it can take you to close the loop

With the things you have in mind after having gone through the previous steps, it is now possible to see a trend that can lead you to close the cycle in the most positive and constructive way possible.

In the same way that a series of points can cause us to estimate a trend or direction if we join them together, when recapitulating what we have been through, it is easy see what completion solutions are more realistic and which ones are not.

Especially, it is important to consider the latter: the reasonable and realistic of the solution that comes to mind. In the imagination all ideas seem equally feasible, but in practice, we know that their application to reality creates inequalities between these options.

6. Heed the call to action

It is very difficult to close an emotional cycle simply through introspection. So, translate your exit from this phase into an action or series of actions, so that you can give it a solidity or physical structure that shows your progress. In this way, you will be showing yourself that the person who entered that emotional cycle is not exactly the same person who came out of it.