Fear of failure: when anticipating defeat immobilizes us

No one doubts that life is full of setbacks and moments of discomfort or pain, but it is also true that much of our ills are made by our own imagination. The fear of failure is a perfect example of this..

And it is that, although we tend to believe that we are fundamentally rational beings and that we act in accordance to logic when we make transcendental decisions that will affect us a lot, the truth is that it is not So; simply thinking a lot about failure can act as a trap that limits our freedom.

The fear of failure as a mental trap

Much of what we do is born out of fear of failure. Acting in a certain way and taking actions in a certain way is not the same as being proactive; Although it sounds strange, there are things that we do precisely because they allow us to remain in a passive state, that is, within our comfort zone.

In this way, we will be able to draw up very complicated plans and to try very hard simply to create a convincing excuse (in front of others) that allows us not to have to start that project that excites us.

The fear of failure is something that paralyzes us but, at the same time, makes us willing to spend time and efforts in not leaving the comfort zone and not having to face the risk of fail.

Analysis paralysis

The funny thing about the fear of failure is that it can be camouflaged in many different ways. For example, on certain occasions it may take the form of the analysis paralysis. This is a concept used to refer to the moments in which the fact of having one or more decisions causes us to be left without choosing without any of the available options.

Analysis paralysis can be understood as a failure in the way of making rational decisions when neither option is good enough, but it can also be fear of failure disguised as rationality. Those looping thinking moments in which decisions are scarcely made and when they do they disappear to return us to the starting point is one of the most frustrating that exist, but also have another negative consequence: they keep us in place without being able to move, with all the consequences that that carries.

Fight the fear of failure

Theoretically, the fear of failure is not bad in itself, because it is simply a feeling unpleasant based on rational ideas: what it would mean to fail in our goals may not be as positive as what that would imply being successful, and if this were the case it would mean that the project or decision means little to U.S.

However, in practice, when we stop to think about the fear of failure, it is usually because it has become a problem, an obstacle.

Y How to prevent the fear of failure from harming us? For this you can follow these guidelines.

1. Write down a decision tree

Write down on a sheet of paper the possibilities that lie before you, with their different branches in which the possible consequences of each of them are represented. Next to each of the options, write down the probability that you think they have of happening assuming that you have made all the previous decisions that lead to that point. To make this estimate as reasonable as possible, you can ask for a second opinion.

Then write down next to each possible scenario the degree to which you would like or dislike that option. By combining these two types of information for each of the options, you can make another "decision tree" in which the branches are ordered from left to right according to the possibilities of their occurrence, and you can color each one with a palette of colors that go from red to green and that express the degree to which you would like each thing to happen.

This colored decision tree can help you a lot in making rational decision making superimpose fear of failure.

2. Set short-term goals

Once you are clear about the option that is rationally most appropriate for you and that everything that separates you from She is simple fear of failure, setting short-term goals is the ideal way to commit to that decision. Also, this will make it harder to fall into the "I'll do it tomorrow", What can be a form of fear of failure camouflaged.

3. Commit to doing it in front of others

Another way to keep the fear of failure from paralyzing you is to commit to doing what scares you in front of others. In this way, you can use on your own against the logic of fear of failure, as you begin to fear the possibility of not keeping your word.

Somehow, to combat this state of psychological paralysis it's good to find ways to force yourself to do the right thing, and this option is effective (except in the case of pathological addictions, in which case it is essential to go to a specialist).