How to apply the rules of coexistence at home

As many families will know, satisfactory coexistence at home is not something that arises spontaneously, but rather must be practiced consciously by all members of this. And that, sometimes, is not an easy task.

By applying the rules of coexistence at home, a coexistence and positive understandings are guaranteed, as well as respect between all family members is encouraged. Here we explain how to create and apply these rules.

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Why is it necessary to apply rules of coexistence at home?

Within family dynamics it is necessary to apply a series of coexistence rules that facilitate coexistence and promote harmony and harmony.

This development and application of a series of rules, which include both the rights and duties of those who live under the same roof, it is essential regardless of the number of inhabitants of the home; being necessary both for couples without children and for families of any type or number.

In the cases of family nuclei with children

it will help to establish limits to the behavior of the youngest or smallest. In this way, situations that may generate conflict can be predicted and controlled.

However, the objective of the application of rules and duties at home is not only that the children fulfill a series of obligations. Parents need to understand that for their children to comply with the rules they must also encourage them; being the first to comply with them and recognize their effort.

In the long term, the fact of having grown up in a regulated context, which provides them with a series of duties, will develop the children's sense of responsibility. Which will help them in their future adult life. However, flexibility is key so that this context does not become an ordeal for the children.

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How to create and apply rules at home?

To put into practice the application of coexistence rules, keep the following in mind.

Create rules of coexistence

The first step in creating a regulated environment is to establish what rules or guidelines should be followed at home, both generally and individually. The reason is logical no person can be required to follow rules that he does not know. Likewise, you cannot try to regulate a child's behavior if you have not pre-established what is acceptable at home and what is not.

In this first step, parents are responsible for creating a series of rules for the home. A good idea if the children already have the capacity to understand, is to create the rules among all reaching a consensus, since in this way the commitment will be much greater.

Although each family can establish the rules according to their criteria and family values, these rules must meet a series of characteristics that make them much more effective:

• They must be impartial.
• They must be clear and easily interpretable.
• In individual standards, these must correspond to the level of maturity of each of the members.
• They must be informed to all members of the family.
• They must be able to be fulfilled and accepted by all.
• They can include conditioning.

Establish consequences

As important as creating the rules of coexistence is to establish or determine what will happen both when they are met and when they are not.

In this way, the effects could be positive in the event that the rules are followed or negative in those cases in which they are not carried out. It is important to know that positive consequences will always have a much more seductive effect and will be more effective than punishments.

The main characteristic that these consequences must have is that they must be immediate. In this way, both punishments and rewards should be applied as soon as possible once carried out, or not, the conduct. In this way, the relationship between action and consequence will be stronger and the behavior will be automated quickly.

On the other hand, the second characteristic to take into account is that the seriousness or repercussion of these consequences must correspond to the importance of the norm. That is, the consequences, both positive and negative, must be proportionate to the acts.

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The role of parents in enforcing the rules

Those parents who feel the need to apply rules of coexistence at home should know that their role is not limited to being police officers who guard by compliance with the rules, but also, They must guide and promote the appropriate behaviors of their children or the rest of the members of the family unit.

Although this seems logical, it is not true in all cases. Therefore, it is necessary for parents to know that they must also respect the rules, since they are the first point of reference for their children. And that in the case of not doing it, this could lead to a lot of conflict with the rest of the family.

Tips for implementing rules of coexistence

Below are a series of tips or specific tips to make creating and applying rules at home much easier and more bearable for both parents and children.

1. Dialogue

There needs to be a dialogue that allows the rules to be socialized. Through these conversations, all household members will be able to understand why they are and their importance.

Likewise, this dialogue will allow the little ones to express their points of view and will facilitate respect for the rules by all.

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2. Rules that facilitate coexistence

With the aim that everyone respect the rules of coexistence these must have a clear and simple purpose: improve family life. Therefore, they must be explained in a consistent way for this purpose.

3. Benefits for all

Regardless of the content of these, the established norms should benefit all family members equally. In other words, they must be equal and offer the same benefits and obligations for all.

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4. Lead by example

In many contexts children learn through imitation, therefore, the example of parents is essential for them to internalize the behaviors that parents desire see in them.

5. Flexibility

Even though one of the goals of standards is to enforce them, it is counterproductive to become obsessed with them. Both parents and children must have a certain degree of flexibilityIn this way, coexistence will be much more satisfactory and compliance with the rules will not become a burden.