Addictive thoughts: how to escape the loop?

Intuitively, we can think that the best way to avoid relapsing into addictive behavior is to block the thoughts that can lead us to it. It makes sense, right? If we do not think about it, we will not be tempted to consume, gamble or watch adult films on the Internet.

This type of action, often recommended, can actually achieve short-term success, something that it is very hopeful for the addict in rehab and for the people who are supporting him in the process.

What's more, it is very motivating for the person. Makes you feel in control. Let him perceive that he is managing to overcome "his problem." It gives you a sense of accomplishment that is very contagious and tempting, even if you can't suppress all thoughts of consumption. When he does, he lives it (and we live it) as an important advance in his recovery. He is "defeating the enemy", "winning the battle" and other expressions very much in line with the "fight against drugs".

But, unfortunately, what really happens is the opposite.

What not to do to avoid relapse

Pushing away thoughts about addictive behavior is a terrible idea. A technique not only destined to fail, but can actually interfere with recovery.

Addictive thoughts are never random, so the times when they occur are extraordinary opportunities to learn what motivates unwanted behavior.

Any event, circumstance, interaction, thought or feeling that occurs just before, is the key to understanding what seems to be sustaining the addictive behavior, why the need. Walking away just as it happens is the last thing we should do if we hope to control it..

End addictive thoughts

Logically, paying attention to an isolated episode of thoughts about drug use or another undesirable habit is not enough to understand what is behind a certain addiction. But the more effort we dedicate to the precipitating circumstances of that addictive thought, the easier it will be to solve the mystery that leads to repeating something that we do not consciously want.

Focusing on these first moments in which the unwanted thought appears has immediate value. Even if the precipitating factors seem unclear, thinking about them creates a very useful separation from the feelings of helplessness that always precede and trigger them. Observing these thoughts, without judging them, and learning about them, is a magnificent antidote to the feeling of inevitability that seems to accompany any relapse process.

Suppressing addictive thoughts

Suppressing addictive thoughts is also part of another problem. Addiction is seen as an enemy to beat. Doing so makes the person suffering from addiction see as uncontrollable something that is part of it, reinforcing the feeling helpless that we commented in the previous paragraph.

Attempting to suppress these thoughts momentarily restores the appearance of control. But it is not possible to change the fact that these thoughts appear at the most unexpected moments.

Rather than thinking this way, it is much more appropriate to view addiction as a symptom with a specific emotional purpose and motivation. What we must understand to overcome it. Instead of looking the other way, it might be better to learn from it.

The role of willpower in addiction

Working to avoid these uncomfortable thoughts also means rejecting another incorrect and widespread notion; the false and destructive idea, that addiction can be overcome with force of will. This point of view, which has led to the belief that people can control addiction only by trying harder, is a well established myth that has led to labeling people with addiction as "weak" or lacking in "character".

Many people believe that what the addict needs is greater self-control. But in fact, what often prevents an addict from recovering is relying exclusively on his will.

Relying exclusively on the will makes the addicted person think that we can have an almost immediate solution, without putting too much effort, just by proposing it. It is the "addicted way" of thinking. Controlling the uncontrollable is the goal.

The person makes a film that, at the beginning, is developed according to the proposed script. But soon it begins to go its own way, causing that "normality" that the addict wants to appear to crumble and lead to frustration or relapse.

Seeking help against addiction

Only the recognition of the loss of control and the need for professional outside help can begin a long road to recovery.

That is why understanding addiction is an individual reconstruction process implies dismantling ways of reacting, of coping that the addicted person has learned throughout his life.

Of course, whoever suffers from an addiction has willpower. But you must use it to change and build a new life, not to ignore and avoid the old one. Denying what has led to a self-destructive lifestyle may, in fact, rush you back to it..

The psychological mechanisms of addiction

Like any other psychological symptom, addiction arises from emotional issues, largely unconscious and attempts to deal with them. Emotional symptoms, which we all have, cannot only be managed through conscious effort.

People with addiction cannot stop their symptomatic behavior with their will, as can people with depression, anxiety or phobias. In this, addictions take the prize of social misunderstanding towards mental disorders.

Working to overcome an addiction is hard, but it is not about suppressing thoughts. It is a task of observing our most complex feelings, motivations and conflicts, especially at times when repeating the addictive behavior is going through our minds.

Self-observation is not easy for anyone, and it is even more complicated if our thoughts drive us to do something we would not want to do.

Therefore, it is especially relevant to identify the emotional factors that lead the addicted person to feel defenseless, and lead to unwanted mental processes. This can help us find ways to manage them, before the whole process that can lead to relapse kicks in. Ultimately, it is not about denying one's own thoughts, but about understanding them.