Parental Alienation Syndrome: a form of child abuse

The separation from a marriage It is not easy for those affected, and the reaction that they can have with respect to the other party seems incredible. The hatred that they are capable of feeling for each other has attracted the attention of many psychologists, since contempt behaviors, in many unimaginable occasions, which can be seen in this situation, mask the love that the ex-partner may have felt in her day.

But the problem worsens when there are children involved. They may suffer more than anyone from this painful situation. Especially when parents use them to hurt each other. This is known as Parental Alienation Syndrome.

What is Parental Alienation Syndrome?

The Parental Alienation Syndrome (SAP) is a set of symptoms that are a consequence of the use of different strategies by a parent, in those that influence the thinking of the children with the intention of destroying the relationship with the other progenitor.

SAP can occur when the child is influenced by one parent (parent A) to reject the other parent (parent B). For example, parent A may tell the child that parent B does not want to visit, when, in fact, parent B is working.

Many times, this type of negative influence, used repeatedly, causes the child to reject the other parent.

It is necessary to reflect on the Parental Alienation Syndrome and the real danger of parents who use this type of behavior to harm their ex-partner, since the child is the one who really suffers the negative consequences of this situation. But you also have to treat this issue with care, since some parents, for their legal defense, may accuse the other member of the ex-partner for using SAP against them even if it is not true.

Signs of Parental Alienation Syndrome

How do alienating parents act? These are the characteristic behaviors of parents who carry out PAS:

• Belittle, insult or devalue the other parent in front of the child, mentioning issues of the couple that have nothing to do with the parental bond.

• Telling a child the details of the divorce when the ex-spouse is not present, but as if the latter were the culprit. What the parent is looking for is that the child thinks that the other parent is the victim and, in this way, does not empathize with him.

• Not allowing the right of coexistence of the child with the other parent.

• Influence children with lies on the other coming to scare them.

• Include family and friends in attacks on the other parent.

• Underestimating or ridiculing children's feelings towards the other parent.

• Gratify and reinforce derogatory behaviors and of rejection by the child towards the other parent.

Causes of this phenomenon

Why might a parent want to damage their child's relationship with the other parent? The causes may differ from one parent to another, since each case is usually different. These are some of them:

• Anger accumulated during the relationship for not having treated the problems in the right way. The lack of anger control can cause, in these cases, that the parents are not able to separate the problems of the relationship from their parental functions.

• Self esteem issues. What causes emotional dependence on the other parent.

• Lack of social skills and difficulties in expression and understanding of emotions. They may be unable to empathize with the child and the ex-spouse.

• Personality disorders. For example: narcissism or Borderline Personality Disorder.

Preventing SAP is the best therapy

Parental Alienation Syndrome is a complex phenomenon due to the environment in which it occurs. It is a real problem that separated families or families that are in phase of rupture can experience, but it also manifests itself in the judicial sphere. There are many men and women who use their children as a weapon against each other and lead them to have negative thoughts about the other parent.

The American Psychological Association it has not recognized it as a disorder and therefore does not appear in the DSM-V. But the suffering it can cause in actors is devastating, because the emotional damage that this phenomenon brings can affect kids for the rest of their lives.

The best way to treat it is to prevent it. Since, once it happens, it is necessary to attack it from different fronts. That a child suffers from the irresponsibility of the parents is tremendously unfair. So, the parents' attitude towards their breakup is crucial for the well-being of their child.

Since the SAP is a form of child abuseOnce it has occurred and is diagnosed, it can have legal consequences. For example, the change of custody so that the child re-establishes ties with the parent who has been the victim of parental alienation. Sometimes it can happen that the child refuses, and that is why the subject must be treated with great care. Therapy is necessary to reverse the situation and, on many occasions, it is the judge himself who can intervene.

Bibliographic references:

• Infocop