Are negative emotions as bad as they seem?

How long have we had the idea that emotions negatives are bad? That is, to what extent have we been educated that the "negative" (or what seems negative) has to be avoided, minimized or suppressed?

Surely this education has always had a noble purpose, with the intention to help or instill a positive attitude towards life. However, there are a large number of people for whom this idea of ​​"rejecting the bad" has turned out to be double-edged.

The "negative" emotions

Lately there has been a lot of talk about emotions, and several topics in psychology that have long wanted to take the air have been brought to light. Therefore, it does not hurt to clarify concepts. To give a definition, and starting from the Rational Emotive Therapy founded by Professor Albert Ellis, emotions are understood as mental, physiological and behavioral events or events.

In other words, can be understood as specific physiological activations to which our mind and body put a label. In this way it is accepted that emotions have a specific function, and the difference between "negative" and "Positive" is given by its usefulness, both in the face of the world and of ourselves (let's not forget these last).

For example, the sadness, which is generally considered negative, becomes especially useful at the time when it is necessary to vent or unburden ourselves emotionally before a conflict that we do not know how to resolve. Namely, it could be positive.

However, it would become negative when it was caused by an irrational idea, stopped serving as a discharge, or made it more difficult for us to achieve our goals.

What are dysfunctional emotions called?

If we mark the difference between emotions positive Y negative At the point where they are no longer useful, it would be beneficial to know if those that we normally classify as negative really are. These are some examples:

Worry vs. Anxiety

It is absolutely different to wish that something does not happen (concern) to eliminate the possibility of it happening ("this cannot happen and if it happens it will be fatal"). It seems only a slight difference, but it becomes enormous the moment an anxious situation needs to be faced. The bad nerves they can turn a slight worry into a world of horror, which on the other hand makes it impossible to face anything.

Therefore the uselessness of the anxiety, at least internally, which is very different from being activated or worried.

Sadness vs. Depression

The line between the two may seem fine, but on a mental level (remember the mental dimension of emotions), the depressive state has a strong devaluation component, that is, of abuse towards oneself ("I am worth nothing, I am nothing"). Also in the dimension time and intensity are different, although these parameters are much more individual.

Specify that with depressed mood, depression is not referred to in this case as clinical problem, but as a state of mind, which turns out to be, in addition to little useful, quite harmful.

Anger at yourself vs. Culpability

These two emotions are sometimes represented more as an evolution than as different states. That is, you get angry with yourself, and then you start to feel guilty about what you got angry about. The self-devaluation it is very common here, and as has already been guessed, it is of no use whatsoever.

The guilt it is the protagonist of a huge number of clinical psychological problems. A poorly managed feeling of guilt can generate absolutely harmful ways of thinking for the person, unlike anger with oneself, from which learning can arise.

Anger vs. Go to

While the former may be a logical and indeed healthy reaction to a possible disagreement, it is the step to go to which makes it negative. In anger, a simple anger goes to devalue the other. This is what typically happens on busy days, or when people get nervous; in any case, never useful for conflict resolution.

In addition, anger uses an enormous amount of mental and emotional resources, more than is often available. Anger at a disagreement relaxes emotional and mental tension, while anger produces more of both.

Double negative, please!

It seems that perhaps it is not so necessary to avoid the "bad". However, the escape from it is logical; after all, nornone of the emotions cited are pleasant, functional or not. But, even if none of them give us a smile or a loud laugh itself, on a psychological level comes the point where the most obvious question arises:

To be happy, or to be mentally healthy, does one always have to be happy?

The negative valence emotion (and I mean the one that produces a negative mood, regardless of its usefulness), before having this valence, is emotion. Before we define this term. It only remained to add that Emotions are human, that is, the human is designed to create, experience and ultimately live all kinds of emotions, both negative and positive. And it turns out that sometimes, looking to escape from the unpleasant mood, we end up living one that damages us even more.

In consultation, the question of "why me?" repeats itself constantly. The answer is that negatively affective (but possibly functional) emotions simply occur. Admit it and come to terms with the fact that one is capable of feeling bad, and also may need it, is simply realizing that one is human.