Profile of the psychological abuser: 21 traits in common

Unfortunately, abuse is a phenomenon that can occur in interpersonal relationships, whether in a couple, family or between schoolmates (bullying) or work (mobbing).

A very common form, and one that is less visible than physical abuse, is emotional abuse. In this article we will review the characteristics of a psychological abuser.

• Related article: "The 30 signs of psychological abuse in a relationship”

Psychological abuse causes serious mental problems for the victim

And is that psychological abuse can be silent at times, yet it is devastating for the person who suffers. Low self-esteem It can be both a cause and a consequence of this phenomenon manifesting itself, but, in addition, the person who is a victim emotional abuse often suffers from serious problems, such as stress, anxiety, depression and even substance addiction psychoactive.

But, What are abusive people like? What characteristics do they present? Below you can find a list of the most common traits or habits of the abuser.

1. They are intolerant

Intolerant people do not respect the opinions, attitudes, or behaviors of others. They are people full of prejudices. This causes them to react in an aggressive, resentful and impolite way, since they consider that there is no reason to prevent their own will from ruling. They are usually sexist.

• If you want to know the characteristics of intolerant individuals, you just have to visit our article: "Intolerant people share these 12 flaws”

2. They are lovely at first

But these people are not intolerant at first, rather they are charming in the initial phases of the relationship. They know how to behave, and it can take a while for their true "self" to show up. As trust with the other person increases, then they show destructive behavior.

• Related article: "The 6 signs to detect a false friend”

3. They are authoritarian

Batterers are authoritarian because they are characterized by undemocratic and intransigent traits. They are lovers of order, but from a subjective point of view, that is, based on their personal criteria. It does not matter if they are right or not, because if you do not obey them they will fly into a rage.

• You may be interested: "Autocratic (or authoritarian) leadership: advantages and disadvantages”

4. They are psychologically rigid

These individuals have rigid thinking and pursue a single truth, their own. They are not people who dialogue and seek consensus, but are afraid to give in to the opinions of others, because they consider that only they are right. Anything that does not fit your thinking is wrong, thus ensuring that the only existing truth is yours.

On the other hand, these people tend to think from relatively rigid and tight categories, which makes it easier for them to empathize little with others, even when there are reasons for it.

5. They present dichotomous thinking

Being psychologically rigid people, for them everything is right or wrong. There is no middle ground. In other words, either everything is white or everything is black. This occurs because, generally, abusers have grown up in families that have treated them that way.

6. They are blackmailers

This type of persons they always behave in accordance with their interests and blame, inconvenience and cause fear in the blackmail victim. They often make the victim feel guilty for things that she has not even done or things that she has done but are not necessarily wrong.

• You may be interested: "Emotional blackmail: a powerful form of manipulation in the couple”

7. They don't do self-criticism

As they are psychologically rigid people and believe that there is only one truth, they do not know how to accept the criticism. This occurs because any criticism is perceived as a holdup to their identity and their way of interpreting reality, they do not consider the possibility that it could be a constructive contribution.

Victims of their mistreatment pay for their lack of social skills and his feeling of failure, becoming his scapegoat. Also, of course, psychological abusers do not self-criticize, or at least not in a systematic way and unless they come across an experience that forces them to make a radical change in their way of seeing things.

8. Instead, they criticize

Even though these people do not criticize themselves, they do criticize others very easily. They look for the other person's flaws and emotionally pound them with their weakness, even inventing a weakness to make the victim feel bad. It is not constructive criticism, but an action aimed at making someone feel bad to enjoy their reaction or to subdue it.

9. They change their mood in seconds

Mood swings are common in these types of people, which go from a pleasant state to anger or rage in a matter of seconds. Therefore, they can live in two extremes, from being charming to being horrible people.

10. They are easily offended

These mood swings are often due to your hypersensitivity and because are easily offended. It has already been said that if something does not fit with its truth, then it is wrong.

11. They disconnect the victim

Isolation of the victim from his family and friends is one of the objectives for which the abuser forces the victim into total submission. Its idea is that the victim feels threatened and is afraid to talk to other people.

12. They are cruel and insensitive

These types of people not only psychologically mistreat their partners, but also They tend to spread this type of behavior, for example, with their children and can even infuse physical harm to pets. They are cruel and insensitive people.

13. They do not regret

They are people who do not regret what they do, and as explained in the previous point, they usually have this type of behavior with other people. That is why, among other things, it is a psychological profile that should be kept away, since there is not even the possibility that they will reconsider too much.

14. They make false promises

Although they may seem regretful at times, these individuals tend to make false promises. They are experts in ask for forgiveness but, in reality, they have no regrets. Their I am going to change has no value, because at the minimum they act the same.

15. They are controlling

They are people who have the need to feel superior and control others. Although they are insecure people and are afraid of being unmasked, control becomes their ally. This is the way to have everything tightly tied, so that nothing escapes from your hands.

16. They have no emotional control

Despite wanting to control others, they have no emotional control. In fact, many are totally illiterate people on an emotional level. That is why they behave impulsively, without reflecting on their inner life.

17. They do not stop

By not having a great capacity for reflection, they are people who do not stop for anything, for them the end justifies the means. They are people who can even act stealthily in public places, turning the life of the victim into a real ordeal.

18. They are seductive

Being charming people at the beginning they usually conquer their victim. In fact, they are people who seduce easily and who have a great capacity for seduction.

19. They are liars

Manipulative people are obviously not honest people. This makes them expert liars, spouting one lie after another. In fact, they rarely tell the truth, because they are always looking to hurt the other person.

20. They become the victim

As they are always blaming the other person, they tend to take the role of victim to justify their actions. For example, pronouncing phrases like "you don't love me, because you're always more aware of your friends." The actions of psychological damage are continuous, but they do not necessarily have to be direct. Some come masked from the false victimhood.

21. Low empathy

Abusive people are not empathetic. What does this mean? Well, they do not recognize the emotions of others or connect with them. This allows them to make the victim suffer without having any kind of resentment.