Violence in the home: educating healthy and non-violent children

We constantly wonder how can I eradicate violence in the home and at the same time promote healthy development in my children? All attempts will be in vain if you don't start with yourself. Family is the bastion where we can start instill values ​​such as non-violence and healthy and open communication with our children.

To learn more about domestic abuse: "The 30 signs of psychological abuse in a relationship"

Coping with domestic violence and homeschooling

The first step is to identify the situations or practices that cause the accumulation of stress Y frustration. Parents are not machines. The constant demand for your attention and your time tends to destabilize you emotionally and physically, not to mention that the current economic and employment situation shores anyone to the limits.

Disarticulating our work and / or academic life from our life at home is a difficult task, however it is necessary. We should not impute to our children or partner our concerns and duties of what belongs outside the house. Try to let go of your work or school worries once you are away from work or school, if you need to spend more time on something,

look for a moment that you can dedicate exclusively for the activity and make sure to communicate it to your family requesting their supportRemember that your professional and personal growth is also their growth.

Once this is done, here are some suggestions that can help in developing a healthy and harmonious coexistence.

Establish and enforce rules of respect at home

In the previous article, it was established that the family is the base social nucleus of every society, and what is a society without norms? If necessary, write them down, that all family members are familiar with the regulations, it is important that the minor conceives the relationship of the internal rules with the external ones, makes explicit the consequences of not follow the. In the house rules make sure to decisively prohibit the use of insults, hitting or threats between members of your family.

In the article about bullying we settle some types of violence, remember then that all kinds of violence, whether verbal, physical, or of the third kind, is a transgression towards the whole family, because it results in a triggering of various actions and reactions, in addition to not recognizing the value of each member.

Encourage assertive communication

The assertive communication It is the ability to express positive and negative ideas and feelings in an open, honest and direct way. When talking to your children, have you ever felt that they only tell you what you want to hear? Do your children express their feelings and opinions to you with difficulty? Do you really know how to listen to them?

Open and assertive communication not only prevents adverse situations, it also provides the space to resolve conflicts without reaching violence.

At this point it seems important to comment that I am part of the generation in which spanking was not violence, it was correction, that is why I must make it clear that sometimes when attempts to resolve conflicts through dialogue seem not enough and that we need to go to a next step, it is necessary to know that not all reprimands are violent in nature, it is only important to know when and how to discipline kids.

Avoid reprimanding your child with a hot head, ensure that the reprimand is of the same "caliber" as the offense committed. The minor must learn that to every negative action there is a directly proportional reaction, either at home or in society. At the same time I also want to comment that a vital part of parenting is trusting your instinct, not following fads or trends just for the sake of what they will say.

Planning

What family, it is important to live together and spread out healthily. Sharing collaborative activities instead of competitive ones, integrating and knowing each other's tastes is essential. Seeks to plan one moment a day when this happens. Organize your schedules, the one you are looking for finds, even if they are 5 minutes. Quality is worth more than quantity.

Wake up and smell the coffee

As cruel as it sounds, it is better to "die knowing" than to "live deceived". We often don't enjoy our reality by living longing for the perfect family. Avoid disappointment and remember the following: No matter what you see on social networks, children little ones have a lot of energy and are not interested in what adults want from them, siblings they will fight. Point. From time to time, some more than others, it is normal, it is part of living together. Not to mention pre-teens and teens, do you remember when you were their age?

Enjoy those moments, which are sometimes rare, of family life. Give up your preconceived fantasy, accept the age characteristics of each of your children and ...

Accept mistakes and defects

Nobody is perfect, nobody is born knowing. The house where being wrong is condemned is fertile ground for domestic violence. Within the family it should be established a routine to ask and grant forgiveness, and practice it frequently.

Be the example, encourage generosity and tolerance in your children with others, allowing them to learn to grow through mistakes. Teach them not to trip over the same stone.

Promote values

The family is undoubtedly the ideal nucleus to promote values ​​from an early age and project in each of their members a way of life that is healthy and transmissible between the individuals that compose it as well as in the society. The values They are observable as each member responsibly assumes the role that corresponds to him or her, seeking the well-being and integral development of the other members.

Rights, why is it necessary to promote them from home?

Your children should know their rights and know that they deserve respect, they should never tolerate violence without reporting it. Teach them to take care of themselves and protect themselves from abuse by being assertive in their personal relationships. Review together the importance of each of your Rightsand obligations.

The house is the laboratory where they practice healthy relationships, and where your example is substantial so that they assimilate its value. Let's remember the analysis of violence from the mimetic theory, if your children see you suffer from a violent relationship or Violate your partner in their presence, it will be difficult for them to learn to recognize or live a healthy relationship in the future.

Control the influence of environmental media violence

Violence enters your home with your permission. Analyze what the media to which your children have access are promoting. Do not allow everyday life and visual culture to determine the development of a value system and the formation of your children's behavior. Don't let the media be responsible for educating your children.

Continuous exposure to violent images makes us vulnerable and gradually allows us to admit the inadmissible as normal. Being exposed to violence from an early age has a negative effect on the child's development.

Do not be silent, report the violence

You have already established the rules, and have taught your children to assert their rights, now it is important to point out violent acts and attitudes, and publicly condemn them. Promote in your children report violence, the trust they place in you is essential for you to help them detect when their integrity is at risk, they can be victims of harassment even within their own home.

The violence will be silent when you decide to speak up.