Why always stop seeking approval from others
Jul 15, 2021
Human nature prompts us to satisfy the desire to belong to a social group. Whether it is our family, group of friends, at work, we tend to do things to feel that we belong to a group and thus feel safe.
Having this need is normal. That we take certain attitudes or customs to strengthen ties is fine. But sometimes this attitude becomes extreme and we begin to feel that we need continually the approval of others to do things, or make decisions or be of this or that shape. This dire need is unhealthy and overrides us as individuals.
Let's review some reasons for why it is not good to always seek the approval of others.
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Why It Is Not Good To Always Seek The Approval Of Others
These are some reasons why it is harmful to always be aware of what others think of us.
1. It generates anxiety
When we constantly feel judged and this affects us, then we seek the approval of others to eliminate that negative judgment; However, even when we get approval,
This vicious cycle generates anxiety. We find ourselves in constant stress until we feel that we never have satisfied others and far from stopping trying, we worry more about seeking social approval.
- You may be interested: "Primary and secondary socialization: its agents and effects"
2. We lose freedom
Our decisions are no longer ours to become the decision of others over us. This is losing freedom, because we are not exercising our decision-making capacity, which is the result of the voice internal voice that tells us what it wants to do and where to go, to give way to the external voice that tells us where to go.
If we are guided solely by the opinion of others about our life, we will be allowing all the limiting barriers of society are imposed on us, and we will stop acting in Liberty.
3. We feel exhausted
Living with the constant stress of doing things according to the wishes of others is very exhausting.
Mentally it is very tiring to be thinking about what others will think if we act in such a way, and very devastating when what we do is not approved by others and that affects us greatly. This ends up manifesting itself physically and we begin to feel exhausted, which translates into weight on our back and lack of energy to do everyday things.
4. Confidence in ourselves decreases
When we make decisions and they are favorable, we gain confidence in ourselves. If these decisions do not turn out as expected, this security is reduced, but assuming the consequences of a bad decision allows us to regain confidence and try again.
This helps us to acquire self-confidence and self-reliance, allowing us to go through life with greater security. Needing the constant approval of others makes us feel that we could not do anything without the affirmation of others, and that our achievements are not the result of our effort or good actions; but from the outside.
5. We forget our needs
To make a decision we must consider, among other things, our wants and needs. But if we are seeking approval from others, we forget that and give way to the tastes and desires of others.
This is causing us to face a decision that we have to make, rather than think about what could function well, we give others the power of decision and at this point we will have forgotten what our needs.
6. We stop understanding that there are different ways of seeing life
We become what we do not like, and we stop understanding that there is a difference of opinions and we feel that others; Those who make decisions outside of what the group dictates are wrong and we distrust and judge them.
Thinking that we should decide based on the approval of others results in lose sight of the breadth of views and opinions that exist about a fact or life itself.
7. We feel the center of the universe
When we seek the approval of others it is because we feel that our life decisions are in everyone's eye and will be judged and approved or disapproved. This is because we believe that everyone is aware of us and reviews each step.
Feeling like this generates so much anxiety that we prefer to ask the opinion of others continuously rather than to feel that everyone around us is judging our decisions.
8. We lose authenticity
Showing ourselves to others as we are becomes impossible. We hide our opinions and feelings. We even dress differently than we would like, or we say we adapt because in reality we are in constant need of having the approval of others. With this attitude, we stop being authentic. We get lost in the sea of the opinions of others and we no longer know who we really are.
Stop being ourselves is without a doubt one of the most powerful reasons why we should not constantly seek the approval of others.
How to stop thinking about the opinion of others?
To know how to put into practice the habit of not giving the opinion of others more importance than it has, you can read this article: "Tips to stop thinking about what others think of you"
- Milazzo, L. (1999). Socialization. José María Várgas University. Venezuela.
- Ramasubbu, S. (2015-05-26). "Influence of Social Media on Teenagers". Huffington Post.