The 7 myths of romantic love

In modern times and especially in Western culture, a model of affectivity called romantic love has been forged, which is rooted in the idea of ​​monogamous bonds and stable relationships resistant to all difficulties. This has given rise to innumerable myths that invade the mentality of society, making love and relationships misleading.

Although it is relatively easy to fall in love, learning to love is not so easy. And in love, both communication and the ability to solve problems are aspects that must be worked on within the relationship, and that cannot be solved by letting Cupid do his thing.

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What is a myth?

A myth is a belief, one more component within a whole structure of beliefs shared by a culture or society, which accepts them as true. In general, myths tend to be a simplification on some aspect of reality and have the ability to influence, to a greater or lesser degree, our behavior.

These beliefs give the impression of being based on the objectivity that surrounds us, but although sometimes it is difficult to distinguish them, they are not; which it's

leads the person to make a series of avoidable mistakes.

Myths, both those related to romantic love and any other area, tend to act unconsciously on people; And although reading the following beliefs many of them may seem obviously wrong, they exert a strong influence on the idea that people have of love.

Each person has their own mythology of love, based on their personal, family or cultural experiences. However, it is thanks to the media, cinema, literature, etc. that these beliefs have intensely invaded the mental framework of society, introducing ideas such as that love true lasts forever, that there is only one person in the world perfect for us, or that jealousy is a guarantee of love.

Types of myths about romantic love

Due to the long duration that the impact of the idea of ​​romantic love has had in today's culture, there are many myths that roam the imagination of people.

In order to disarm these beliefs, or at least make the reader a little more aware of them, this article includes a small compilation of the most popular, and possibly harmful, myths of the romantic scene.

1. The love conquers all

Despite the temptation of believing it when seeing it written, the idea that if there is love in a relationship, this is a sufficient guarantee to overcome any problem, is absurd. This myth It also works in the opposite direction, leading to think that if there are problems there is no love.

This belief leads to think that in relationships considered as perfect, people do not have any type of conflict between them, and that respect, trust and communication come standard along with the love.

The possible consequences of this myth are first of all, early or unnecessary ruptures by not looking for solutions to specific problems, and an even more damaging consequence for the person and that is that he supports any type of harmful situation or vexation for the sake of love, because this heals everything and can do everything.

2. Love at first sight

This superstition ranges from the belief in a crush to the idea that chance interferes in some way to promote an encounter between two people destined to be together.

In any case, although the existence of a powerful affinity or attraction facilitates the beginning of any relationship, the belief in this powerful attraction leads the person to not be able to perceive reality clearly, or even see what really does not exist.

Finally, this myth leads people to ignore relationships with very high enrichment potential because they have not started with a passionate coincidence, or on the other hand, interpreting this fiery "passion" as a proof of love.

3. The perfect match

The long-awaited and persecuted better half. The paradigm that this myth encompasses is that there is only one person throughout the world who is ideal for everyone.

The main conflict with this belief is the frustration it can generate when it is internalized as a rigid pattern. Leading the person to cling to a bond just because they think they will never ever find another being so perfect for her and, in addition, to think that after a breakup the possibilities.

Likewise, if one takes into consideration that the concept of perfection is a pure ideal, it is practically impossible that no one fits into those schemes that the person imagines. The search can be, if possible, even more daunting.

• Related article: "The myth of the better half: no partner is ideal"

4. The right person fills all aspects of life

In this myth there are phrases such as "we must share all our tastes and hobbies", "we are responsible for the happiness of the other", "we are one person", and so on.

Surely, the reader will recognize all these phrases heard from the mouths of others or even oneself; but when read out of context, these expressions fall under their own weight.

The effects of these affirmations are innumerable, and in the great majority of the cases negative; being the most important that of originate an obsession to find another person to start living, to realize dreams or even to start being happy.

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5. Full sexual understanding is irrefutable proof of love

This myth walks a bit hand in hand with that of love at first sight. In him the person firmly believes that if his love is true sex will always be amazingly good.

It is true that a healthy and full sexual life is important in the development of a relationship, but neither love is a guarantee of this, nor is good sex a guarantee of love. It is absolutely necessary to know both your own body and that of the other person, and work on sexuality the same as any other aspect of the relationship.

6. When you are in love, you cannot be attracted to another person

However, at this point the reality is very different. Starting from the idea that love does not paralyze the disposition to be attracted to others and that fidelity is a social construct, in which it is the couple themselves who decide what kind of commitment they want to make; It is very common to experience some kind of affinity with other people without this meaning that you no longer the couple is loved, leaving it up to the person himself to establish the limits of this attraction.

7. Jealousy is a proof of love

The myth of love par excellence; being justified and fought almost equally.

In reality the experimentation of jealousy only is an indicator of the threshold of distress before the idea of ​​another person takes what is considered as his own by right. That which the person believes that he or she is entitled to receive exclusively.

Jealousy is simply a demonstration of the fear of losing what is perceived as a possession, that is, the other person.