My son hits other children: what to do to solve it?

If bullying and assaults between minors in general is a social problem, it is in part because many parents do not face this kind of situation when their children are the ones who hit others kids. This asymmetry means that the victims receive all the pressure, while in the aggressors' family environment, permissiveness reigns.

Fortunately, there are adults who take the first step to solve these kinds of situations, and ask themselves “What to do if my child hits other children either at school or outside of it?”.

In this article we will review several tips and guidelines to follow so that this behavior stops occurring, acting on the child's education. Thus, regardless of whether a child engages in bullying dynamics or hits her brother, we will avoid further damage.

• Related article: "The 5 types of bullying or bullying"

What to do if a child hits other children regularly

Any change requires time and effort, and that means that although it would be desirable for our son or daughter to stop trying to attack others overnight, this is not usually the case. Our efforts must be focused on making change happen as quickly as possible and

causing the least inconvenience to others during this process.

Thus, educational actions must be varied and must be applied in many areas of the life of the minor who causes problems.

1. Take him to the psychologist

Many behavior problems of children can be solved without the intervention of psychologists, but the fact that habitually hitting other children is serious enough to act in a manner consistent with our concern and turn to professionals who offer personalized psychological care.

Thus, the steps that we are going to see below must be initiatives that are complemented with psychological intervention and, in case of doubt, it is It is important to obey the instructions of that person, since the knowledge of him of the concrete case allows him to offer solutions that adapt to what is happening.

2. Make him feel supported in his change process

It is clear that mistreating other people is morally wrong, but that does not mean that our behavior in front of our son or daughter should be guided by revenge or because of the desire to cause physical or psychological harm. Everything we do in relation to the aggressiveness of the minor must be oriented to stop having these tendencies, and nothing else.

Therefore, you should feel support from your parents, notice that you have a way of redeeming yourself by struggling to change your habits and ways to manage your impulses. It is necessary that you feel responsible for the pain you cause others when you hit, but that does not mean that the weight of our intervention in your education should focus on the feeling of guilt. You must focus on the positive and constructive mission of maturing as a person, being better.

3. Shows exemplary behavior

Not all children who show a tendency towards aggressiveness towards their peers do so because they have followed the example of their parents. But, in any case, it is advisable to be especially careful to the other of manage our own frustrations well by assimilating situations that make us angry.

It is better not only not to do it in front of that child who hits other children, but in all our behavior in general, so that it is a more natural and spontaneous tendency.

In addition, in this way we will prevent our son or daughter from justifying her attacks and aggressions by thinking that our anger is a reflection of what he does with others, that after all, everyone engages in actions that create gratuitous confrontations and unjustified.

4. Take an interest in their feelings

It is important to have regular communication with our children, especially if they have been hitting others, to give them the opportunity to express their discomfort. Many times this aggressiveness is the product of frustrations that have nothing to do with the victim and even these can be born in your own home. In addition, this habit of asking how they feel makes them feel supported and that they see aggressiveness and hostility as an anomaly.

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5. Make sure it meets the goals of therapy

The work that is done in the psychologist's office must have consequences in the child's day-to-day life, not only for the duration of the session. Stay abreast of the therapeutic goals to follow and monitors its compliance or non-compliance.

6. Take action the moment aggressive behavior begins

Whenever the signs that attack behaviors are going to occur, whether physical or verbally, intervene by reminding them of their commitment to change or physically avoiding them if there is no other solution. This "relapse" must have consequences, although as we have not seen, not oriented towards suffering, but towards reinforcing their commitment to a peaceful and non-violent attitude.