How to overcome the consequences of bullying: 8 tips

Bullying is a situation that, unfortunately, many boys and girls have lived through - and do live - in schools. It consists of harassment and mistreatment (physical and / or psychological) towards a person, who is considered the victim.

Fortunately, by reporting this situation and with the necessary help, you can get out of it. Once we have left, but, there may be psychological consequences that it is very important to treat. In this article we will explain how to overcome the consequences of bullying through 8 ideas that can help us.

• Related article: "The 5 types of bullying or bullying"

Bullying: definition and analysis of the phenomenon

Bullying is an experience that can be very traumatic for children and adolescents. It consists of receiving insults, threats, harassment or mistreatment, whether psychological or physical, by one or more people, who are the aggressors. Bullying is a real situation that is increasingly breaking into school classrooms.

This harassment tends to last over time and occurs frequently and recurrently towards the victim

, who suffers during the period in which he suffers bullying and after it, through a series of psychological consequences that may remain. These sequelae can manifest themselves in: post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), anxiety, depression, insecurity, fear, nightmares, psychosomatic symptoms ...

On the other hand, many times the victim is a person who is more "weak" psychologically, or with an obvious physical "defect", which the aggressor uses to ridicule her. However, the key to fighting bullying is not only serving the victim, but also, and above all, the aggressor.

Often, in addition, it is the aggressor who feels the most insecure, and that is why he needs to hurt someone whom he considers "inferior." Through this, he becomes “empowered” and if he also has people who support him (or who allow him to situation is perpetuated), who are usually classmates, that makes them feel superior, more powerful.

How to overcome the consequences of bullying

It is because of all the comments that the work must always be carried out with both parties (victim and aggressor). In this article, however, we will focus on the victim, and that is why we will propose some keys on how to overcome the consequences of bullying.

1. Ask for psychological help

An essential step on how to overcome the consequences of bullying is ask for professional help in case you need it. After an experience like this, which may have been very traumatic, there are likely to be sequelae to deal with, insecurities, fears, etc.

Sometimes it is difficult to manage or solve it yourself without help, because we do not always have the necessary tools to do it. The help that we request must be adapted to our particular case, being able to be psychological, psychiatric, medical help ...

2. Accept the experience

Another step on how to overcome the consequences of bullying involves accepting the situation you have experienced. That does not mean resigning or forgetting as if it had not been something important, on the contrary; It implies accepting what has happened to us, what has made us feel and that, fortunately, the situation is over and it does not have to happen again.

This is not an easy or short process, rather it is a path that may take a long period of time.. Many times it will be essential to go to a psychologist to accompany us during the process. Accepting the experience will allow us to manage and face the emotions and consequences caused, evolve, continue to advance and acquire important vital learning.

3. Be clear that it is not your fault

It is common to feel guilty after experiencing bullying; but that it is habitual does not mean that it is healthy, realistic or "logical". Namely, the fault of having been victims of bullying is never ours, even if our head wants us to believe otherwise.

That is why we must be aware that the blame is always the aggressor, and that having these negative thoughts can cause us a lot of damage. So we must take this aspect into account, and not feel guilty for thinking this way.

4. Stay away from negative thoughts

Another tool on how to overcome the consequences of bullying has to do with the negative thoughts that we may have after said experience. Related to the previous point, we find victims of bullying often have negative thoughts, insecurity, self-destructive, etc., after such an experience.

As in the previous case, we must get away from these thoughts, either alone or with psychological help.

These negative thoughts can be translated into "you deserved it", "you are worth nothing", "no one is going to love you"... When they appear in our mind, we can apply techniques such as the stop of thought; that is, say "STOP!" out loud, or “ENOUGH!” when that thought occurs, take a deep breath and do some nice or pleasant activity (or imagine a pleasant scene).

• You may be interested: "Rumination: the annoying vicious circle of thought"

5. Stay away from resentment

The resentment is that feeling or emotion that we experience towards someone when they have caused us harm; It is a feeling of "revenge", of anger, negative, that in a certain way ties us to that person and perpetuates our suffering, because it does not allow us to move forward and accept the situation.

Reducing this resentment until it disappears will liberate us and allow us to continue moving forward, accepting what happened to us but looking to the future again. Many times it will be necessary to go to a professional to help us manage this anger.

Thus, it is not so much about "forgiving" the aggressor, but about accepting what happened to us and moving forward.

6. Express what you feel

How to overcome the consequences of bullying without expressing how you have felt all this time? It is impossible. That is why it is essential to do so, since expressing our emotions, whether they are positive or negative, will help us understand what we have experienced and how it has affected us. At the same time, we can analyze our feelings and emotions, and move forward, in order to feel a little better each time.

7. Empower yourself

It is important to be clear that we continue to be valid, true and deserving people of all the positive things that life offers us, even though - and despite having lived such an experience. We must trust in our worth and in our power to transform our reality, as well as to achieve everything that we propose through effort and self-confidence.

8. Transform pain

Pain is an affective experience and an emotion that causes us a lot of suffering; However, it has its “positive” part, and that is that, in addition to being an adaptive emotion (necessary to evolve), it is an emotion with the power to make us change things and make us fight. Actually, it is a natural emotion.

That is why we can transform this pain into other "formats", such as art and creativity (drawings, poems, stories ...). It is about projecting it onto other things that do make us feel good and that allow us to bring out our full potential.

Bibliographic references:

• Irurtia, M.J., Avilés, J.M., Arias, V. and Arias, B. (2009). The treatment of victims in the resolution of bullying cases. AMAzônica, 2 (1): pp. 76 - 99.
• Rodríguez, A.C. and Mejía, Y.K. (2012). Bullying: a phenomenon to transform. Duazary: International Journal of Health Sciences, 9 (1): pp. 98 - 104.