The problem of positive thinking, in 4 keys

Positive thinking can be a very beneficial mindset if we are realistic with the environment that surrounds us and the situation in which we find ourselves. After all, many of the problems we deal with on a day-to-day basis are more fictional and self-made than real.

However, positive thinking can become a trap that invites us to avoid facing the problems that we encounter in our day-to-day life.

• You may be interested: "How would you like to be? Work on your skills from positive psychology"

Positive thinking as an excuse

Although the popular saying says "good face to bad weather", it is necessary to analyze this phrase and be aware that it is not enough to just put a good face to bad weather. Imagine a rainy day in which we have to go to work on foot. If we do not use an umbrella we will get wet, so in bad weather we have to find a solution: take out the umbrella.

As stated by Barbara Ehrenreich, author of the book Smile or Die: The Positive Thinking Trap, “When we have problems, looking the other way can make us feel better at first, but not in the long run. Being emotionally intelligent will allow us to be connected with reality and our emotions, which in the long run will be better than avoiding the problems that may appear in our life.

We must face delicate situations, it is not enough to put a smile on them and hope that they will solve themselves.

• Related article: "80 short positive thoughts to motivate you”

How are positive people

Our attitude can help us overcome bad moments in life, but it is not the only requirement to solve the problems that arise. That being said, it is always better to look forward with a positive mindset than a negative mindset. When positive mindset is coupled with problem solving skills, realism, and courage, our well-being increases.

But what are positive-minded people like? These individuals possess a series of characteristics that you can find below.

• They do not deceive themselvesThey are sincere with themselves and make use of self-reflection.
• They have high self-esteem and value themselves positively.
• They fall when they get up, and they see opportunities to grow and learn in failure.
• They fight for their own dreams and for their vital goals.
• They are self-motivated despite adversities and obstacles along the way.
• They do not compare themselves to others because they have found peace with themselves.
• They live in the present moment and they enjoy their day to day.
• They know and manage their own emotions well and understand those of others.

If you want to delve into these characteristics, you can read this article: "11 characteristics of optimistic people”

The problems of positive thinking: its limitations

Positive thinking can be good in some situations, but not all, because sometimes we get carried away by beliefs based on falsehoods. Let's see what the limitations of this type of thinking are.

1. Positive thinking is more than just attitude

Thinking that with a positive attitude we will achieve everything in life and prevent difficult situations from disappearing is a mistake. Positive thinking must always be accompanied by a strong personality and good self-esteem, in addition to realistic thinking. Therefore, one of can impose the positive mentality and hope that everything happens in his favor.

In this sense, having your feet on the ground is a key factor in avoiding irrational expectations. Positive people can also fail, the key is to get up, grow as people and continue on their way.

2. Positive thinking doesn't solve problems

Positive thinking can help you stay motivated to move forward, but It is not the only aspect that we must take into account to solve problems. We have to do our part so that things are solved and go the way we want, so the will and realism are necessary.

Likewise, believing in oneself is also necessary so as not to collapse in difficult moments, because otherwise we would be talking about false self-confidence, and we would use positive thinking to excuse ourselves and not having to face reality. If you want to know more about false self-confidence you can read the article “False self-confidence: the heavy mask of self-deception”.

3. Positive thinking does not equal happiness

There are many factors that influence a person's happiness, and believing that with positive thinking everything will be rosy is irrational. Like I said, positive thinking it is not something that you should impose yourselfInstead, the person must have a strong personality and healthy self-esteem and, in addition, adopt this way of thinking. Of course, always realistically.

Positive thinking is not looking the other way when things are not going well, but it is facing reality and accepting it as it is. Afterward, one can look forward to the future with hope and work on the path that he wishes for himself.

4. You can't have positive thinking all the time

You can't live life with a smile on your face all the time, as if the context in which one lives did not matter. There are situations in which one must suffer and cry if necessary, as a way to free yourself from the emotions that affect you. Experiencing pain at some point in our life is totally normal. In fact, the best learnings are those that occur after an adverse situation.

As I have said in the previous lines, false optimism is an attempt to hide low self-esteem. It is not necessary to smile and pretend that everything is going well. That, sooner or later, disappoints, despairs and frustrates a person.