Interview with Johanna Beato: social networks and their effects on sexuality

For better and for worse, the social networks present on the Internet are here to stay, and for a few years now they have been a regular element in the daily lives of hundreds of millions of people.

But these are not simply tools we use to stay in touch with other people and access new information; has its own operating dynamics, and its influence is such that in many respects social networks are not adapt to us, but we adapt to them our behavior patterns and our ways of thinking and feel.

If we add to this the fact that adolescents and young adults use them the most, it is not surprising that this world virtual reality has already developed a kind of culture of its own that starts from the screens and goes out, shaping society in general.

How could it be otherwise, sexuality is one of the areas of daily life that are influenced by the use of social networks. To understand how this interaction occurs between both spheres of life we spoke with the psychologist Johanna Beato.

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Interview with Johanna Beato: the impact of social networks on how we experience sexuality

Johanna Beato Ardila She is a General Health Psychologist with a consultation in Bilbao, although she also performs online therapy; Throughout her professional career, she has specialized in caring for adults and adolescents, offering help with psychological and sexual problems with emotional causes. In this interview she gives us her perspective on the link between sexuality and the habitual use of social networks and everything that surrounds them in the Internet world.

Could the fact that social networks favor the dissemination of content in which attractive people are seen above all lead to insecurities in the sexual sphere? For example, causing complexes with one's own nudity.

What you see mostly on social media is the "pretty face" of people. People do not show their problems or insecurities, because that does not matter, it does not sell. People tend to compare ourselves, and doing it with images of people in which this facet is shown can make us think that we are not so good, so attractive or, in short, damage our self esteem, including the sexual sphere.

That is why it is so important to be critical of what we see. We must be aware that behind a beautiful photo there may be another 20 "ugly" ones, that there are filters and retouching and that what you see is not always reality. In addition, you have to think that each body is different and no less beautiful for that.

This same phenomenon in which visibility is given almost exclusively to those who fit into the canons of beauty, sometimes even from the artificiality of the tricks of posing and photo editing, it can make some people look dissatisfied with the vast majority of sexual partners who come to to have?

Nowadays, the RRSS have great influence, especially in young people; Even when it comes to flirting, applications are used in which, of course, we show the photos that we like the most of ourselves (either because we are more favored, it makes us more funny or it shows a facet that like).

It is clear that we all like to like them, and if changing the position or editing a little we get to look more stylized, thinner... Why are we not going to do it? The problem comes when we prioritize the physical over many other characteristics.

For example, some dating apps place great importance on physique (some even use punctuation) what the design implies and what the user will look at. We also have a wide variety of people to choose from, even when we break up with a partner we can easily access more people. The fact of having so many options can cause insecurity to the user when choosing.

Of course we are finally the ones who choose based on what we give importance to (if it is important for me that the other person is an athlete, I will pay more attention to that, for example). If we prioritize the physical attractiveness of a couple to a great extent, in some way we will also try to appear attractive, even using tricks in the photos.

Ultimately it is a cycle. If we do not access people we consider attractive (this being the priority), our self-esteem based on the physical can be damaged and we will look for people who appreciate our beauty Exterior. You have to break the cycle and work with the person.

In the case of women, do you think that the aesthetic codes typical of digital platforms such as Instagram or TikTok make many young people are pressured to make sexualizing use of their bodies almost constantly when showing themselves to the rest?

And not just women. I don't think there is direct pressure, but there is indirect pressure. IF, for example, all your friends have made a more sexualized TikTok that is a trend and you have not, you may feel pressured or pressured to do it.

I also think that the issue of sex and sexuality is being lived more openly every time. This is why I consider it relevant to delve into whether that person wants to upload that video or photo because they want to or if you want to do it to be liked, and why you think you should sexualize your body or the content you post to do it. In case of being the first option, that he does it because he wants to, we must respect his way of living his sexuality as long as This is a conscious decision, that the real reason is your own decision and know the consequences, as everything remains in Internet.

Beyond the negative, does the popularization of social networks have potential positive effects on sexuality? For example, giving visibility to non-heterosexual minorities.

Of course, social networks themselves are not negative tools, but the use we make of them. Thanks to the RRSS, the visibility of minorities is achieved, of sexual orientations outside the heteronormative, different types of bodies, sexual identities, tastes... and this is always a positive thing.

In addition, they can also be a point of support, since you may not personally know someone with the same gender identity as yours, for example, but on the platforms You can find groups made up of people with that identity, which helps the human feeling of belonging and to shape your personality and identity, both sexual and global.

What role should the fathers and mothers of young people play to help them make good use of social media?

To begin with, they should be aware of the potential positive and negative effects of screens and networks. Once informed, they should think about the limits they would like to have, such as no mobiles at the table.

It is also important that you set an example for them. It is difficult to tell your sons or daughters to use their mobile less or to spend less time on Instagram when they do too.

Once there is this awareness, it is important to sit down and talk and reach agreements in the hours of use of screens and networks, all adapted to the age and in a flexible way and open to dialogue.

How can you work from psychology to help you fully live your sexuality without being negatively affected by social pressure dynamics and unrealistic expectations?

It is important to work on self-esteem and personal limits so that the person can carry out activities because they want to and not because they fit in. Also important is the work of adjusting expectations (about the first time, gender roles, the age at which the first sexual relationship should be maintained ...).

Another interesting aspect would be the cognitive restructuring, to dismantle some ideas of why they think that what they see on a screen is better, than why doing what others do or say will make them feel better, etc.

Finally, myths about sexuality must be dismantled and the person encouraged to live her sexuality as he wishes, accompanying psychotherapy with a broad and tolerant sexual education.