How to face adversity in the face of the pandemic?

We are all exposed to the same confinement situation, and we endure roughly the same stressors: fear of contagion from illness, uncertainty regarding the next phases, limitation of freedom in our movements, combining telework with homework domestic... and, if there are children, the work multiplies.

Likewise, there are people who have lost their jobs, and others are currently facing one of the hardest moments of your life, when losing a loved one in this period, without being able to accompany them or fire them.

Although we are all suffering, more or less, the same situation, there are people who "coexist" better with this time of adversity and they have more capacity to adapt, with which, they suffer somewhat less emotionally.

Other people find it more difficult to deal with the uncertainty of a possible contagion, they have more negative thoughts related to the fact of not being able to go out, pessimism about having to adapt to another way of working or not seeing their loved ones dear. Thus,

settle into obsessive thinking loops, and reactively experience stronger negative emotions and even somatize, developing important physical responses to these emotions (insomnia, headache, muscle contractures, knot in the stomach, chest pressure, urge to cry, decreased or increased appetite, etc.).

And what does it depend on that some of us take it better and others worse? Well, of our resilience.

• Related article: "Resilience: definition and 10 habits to enhance it"

The Foundations of Resilience: Facing Adversity

What exactly is resilience? In psychology, resilience is the ability to face a difficult situation and emerge stronger from it. That is, accept the situation, face it, learn something from it and “take” something positive with you.

Therefore, it seems advisable to maintain a resilient attitude in general, and at this moment in our life, it seems essential. The problem, as we said, is that not all of us have this ability.

Studies show that resilience is a capacity that comes "standard" in some people, and they It comes out naturally, by the education received, by the reference models that he has lived in his childhood, etc. Instead, other people have more difficulty coping with adversity, showing more pessimism and frustration, allowing themselves to be carried away by events, they do not take responsibility for their self-care and emotional well-being, and they settle in the complaint, hoping that the problem will be solved by others.

The good news is that resilience is a "trainable" ability, and perhaps this is a good time (if not the best) to learn how to do it.

How to train resilience?

To be resilient, it is important to keep the following guidelines in mind.

1. Focus on the present

First of all, it is better to focus on the present. If we think about the past, that is, what we did before confinement (if I shook someone's hand, if I used public transport, etc.) or if we we start to anticipate the future (and if I get infected, and what the economic crisis will be like)... the only thing we will achieve is to become more anxious, since we do not control the past or the future.

The only thing we can do is focus on the present, paying special attention to the positive things. that is around us: something has gone well at work, I have shared a beautiful moment with my children, I have known resolve an argument with my partner well, today it is sunny and I can go out a little to the balcony or the window, enjoy a good dinner, etc.

2. Accept the limits of our control of the situation

Also important accept that there are variables that we do not control, that do not depend on us. Resilience implies knowing how to identify what part of control we have and taking responsibility for it. For example, I control not watching the news at night, so I go to sleep more peacefully and do not have nightmares, or I control to implement security measures when I go shopping.

3. Enhance communication skills

Likewise, it is shown that the most resilient people are those who have learned to communicate with others in an assertive way, expressing what they think, but also sharing their most intimate emotions, to be able to vent with trusted people.

Know how to manage conflicts, both with the people with whom we live, and with the people with whom we communicate online, it is a good prognostic factor to be resilient, and cope with this situation with fewer open fronts.

• You may be interested: "Assertive communication: how to express yourself clearly"

4. Don't anchor yourself in pessimism and resentment

On the other hand, something that works in our favor to be resilient is not to settle in the complaint. If we are complaining about this situation all day, this being a monotheme, the only thing we achieve is to increase our level of “emotional bad vibes”. That is, we provoke more negative emotions.

Unburden yourself, as I said before, yes; settle in the constant complaint, no. The relief relieves me, the complaint increases the emotional discomfort.

5. Modify our habits

And finally, to be more resilient and better adapt to the day to day, we must transform our habits. For this we must promote our creativity. We have invented spaces where we can work at home, together with the family, “aperitifs” with friends, each one from home through a screen, new crafts for our children, games on social networks, etc.

In short, by creating new ways of operating on a day-to-day basis, we will be adapting more fast to this new way of living (lasts as long as it lasts) and we will be more resistant, more resilient.

Conclution

Although this is a very difficult situation for all of us, being more resilient will allow us to better manage the difficulties that appear, manage our emotions, have more "emotional battery" and cope with this situation with more Energy.