Emotionally immature people: 5 traits

It is clear that not all people grow and develop at the same rate. However, while physical development basically depends on genes and diet and in most cases progresses without us having to worry about it, something different happens with psychological and emotional development.

Our skills and abilities when it comes to managing emotions and relating to others do not depend on processes biological, but the way in which we learn to interact with the environment (and with the people who are in this).

That means that people who don't worry about keeping their emotional and social skills to a minimum get stuck before they come of age, or shortly thereafter. In these cases we can speak of emotionally immature adults.

What are emotionally immature people like?

Emotionally immature people are deeply immature, not from appearances.

Playing video games, being a fan of animated films or enjoying the spontaneity of certain situations does not tell us anything about a person's level of maturity; it only expresses personal tastes. But other patterns of behavior do tell us about the degree to which an adult's way of experiencing emotions

stuck in a youthful or near-adolescent stage.

In short, an emotionally immature person is characterized by not regulating their emotions according to long-term goals that include the well-being of others.

What's more, this is a characteristic that affects all facets of your life; we cannot speak of emotionally immature adults, for example, in the case of artists who express their feelings unilaterally and explosively specifically through forms of representation artistic.

Now this definition may seem too abstract, so let's look at the main characteristics of this type of adult.

1. They do not assume commitments

Emotionally immature adults systematically avoid compromises. This means that they do not do it from an analysis of the costs and benefits of reaching an agreement with someone, but, by default, they do not even consider fulfilling a series of tasks and responsibilities to do good in others.

Establishing commitments would imply establishing a balance between at least two people who, as they feel in a way different and experience different things, they need to create a stability agreement so that the relationship can continue go ahead.

But emotionally immature adults are characterized by the fact that their appreciation of emotions is limited to their own, without taking too much account of those of others. Therefore, as a compromise it can only exist when there is a certain symmetry between the importance of one's own emotions and those of others, for these people it does not make sense to do this.

At the end of the day, when you only pay attention to how you feel, the only conclusion you can extract is that these feelings always change unexpectedly and that you cannot anticipate what it will happen.

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2. They are self-centered

One of the characteristics of boys and girls is that, despite the fact that their behavior is often interpreted as "naturally good" and kind, is based on self-centeredness.

But it is not a moral egocentricity, but a cognitive one. The idea of ​​getting to imagine the mental world of others is a challenge that is often not achieved and that involves dedicating a lot of effort to think about what goes through the minds of others. This capacity will improve as the parts of the brain become better interconnected through the areas of white matter.

Emotionally immature adults do have a brain developed enough to put themselves in the shoes of others, but due to inertia they have not gotten used to making use of this ability. In many cases, they simply have not needed to do so to enjoy an acceptable level of well-being, and therefore maintain a egocentric personality.

Thus, thinking about the interest of others will be the exception, and not the norm, in this class of people.

3. They live in a bond of dependency

An egocentric and individualistic person would be expected to be independent, but paradoxically this characteristic is not fulfilled in the case of emotionally immature adults. If they can live without commitments, it is precisely because they have a social or family environment that protects them so that they do not have social relationships mediated by empathy.

Sometimes, this type of protection offered by parents or friends is toxic and unsatisfactory even for these people, because it acts as a very large comfort zone from which it is difficult to get out to experience sensations intense.

However, This social "bubble" persists, despite its failures, because it produces dependency: Once you have gained strength, it is difficult to break these kinds of relationship dynamics, since doing that would involve making many drastic decisions at the same time and you usually do not know where to start.

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4. They blame others for their mistakes

The coping strategies of these people are often very poor, which means that they avoid the possibility of examining their own mistakes. To do this, nothing like the easy and immediate way out: blaming others for your mistakes.

Thanks to these kinds of actions, emotionally immature adults can allow themselves to go on living without having to look back and dedicate efforts to stop satisfying your immediate desires in favor of avoiding further trouble in the future.

5. They show financial irresponsibility

Emotionally immature people live by and for impulsiveness. That, taken to the domestic economy, means that they manage their expenses very badly. For example, they may spend a lot of money on dinners while accumulating debt.

In some way, this behavior resembles people addicted to substances, although the impulsiveness of the latter is due to changes neurochemicals in their brain that makes them think only of consuming the substance in question, whereas emotionally immature adults are impulsive in general.

• Related article: "Addiction: disease or learning disorder?"