How to help a child with ADHD get through confinement?

Living in confinement is a hard time, very hard. Not being able to go out even for a walk is a stressful and unpleasant situation for both adults and children, and especially those with ADHD.

Boys and girls with this disorder cannot stand still, needing to expend their energy (if at some point they run out) throughout the day. If they cannot go running or play in the park, it is clear that their families are going to have to face a complicated situation, added to the difficulty that confinement already is.

This is why it is so important to give guidelines for parents on how to help a child with ADHD get through confinement in anticipation that we will have to relive one like the one that began in March.

• Related article: "Types of ADHD (characteristics, causes and symptoms)"

Tips to help a child with ADHD get through the months of confinement

The first lockdown was highly disruptive. Nobody expected it and nobody knew how to fit it. It was a real headache for parents and teachers, having problems with the care and homeschooling children, who saw their routines and activities change because of the COVID-19. This was even more serious in the case of children with ADHD, so in need of structure and additional supports to handle the attention and behavioral challenges of their disorder.

The confinement of March put to earth the day to day of all the children who saw their school hours disappear, being replaced in the best way possible by virtual classes. The established routine after half an academic year ended suddenly. The problem is that children, and especially those with attention and hyperactivity problems, need routine.

Whether it's fun or boring, they need something that gives structure to their time, that lets them know what comes next.. If not, there will be uncertainty and that is especially disruptive to the learning and development of any child.

But the problem was not only the closure of classes, but also not being able to go out. Children need to play, spend their energy running, and having fun with others. Not being able to go outside, being locked up at home for weeks, was an especially bad situation for children with ADHD. Being a totally new situation at the time, there were no manuals on what to do in such a situation, which resulted in bad sleep habits, abuse of new technologies and problems with miscellaneous behavior.

Fortunately, we have learned from the first lockdown. We do not know exactly if there will be a new confinement, although unfortunately the situation does not look good. The first confinement caught parents, psychologists, educational psychologists, teachers and, of course, children with ADHD unaware. Fortunately, after the experience of the first confinement we have learned what to do to help a child with ADHD to pass the confinement of the best possible way and prevent this overwhelming situation from profoundly altering your behavior and emotional regulation.

How to overcome confinement with children with ADHD

The best strategy for parents of children with ADHD is to anticipate the likely situation of confinement. During the first confinement everything came suddenly: between the cancellation of the classes of the little ones in the house and the parents did not know how they were going to telework, everyone was confused. Fortunately, now that we have had that first experience we know what we can do to get through this situation with our children with ADHD.

It is essential to design a weekly action plan, which is reviewable, agreed upon and modifiable. This plan will be a schedule that will organize the time of the child with ADHD, something that, as we have commented, is essential in these little ones with regulation problems. The activities that should be in this plan should be focused on what the child can learn at home, There are some that arouse her interest and help her keep busy in case of not being able to leave home.

Now, how and what points should this action plan have? The life of children with ADHD can be very “chaotic”, so having a good order and organization is the best ally to combat the problems associated with this disorder, problems that will emerge in full force because of the lockdown. When planning the week for children with ADHD, the following should be taken into consideration:

1. Create a routine

Children with ADHD have difficulties with self-regulation, motivation and activation. They are children who are more easily frustrated, exploded, and upset, especially in ambiguous, repetitive, monotonous, and unstimulating situations. For this reason it is so essential to create a very clear routine, thought out and maintained in the long term. The routine will give you a sense of calm and some control, and as a result, family functioning during this confinement will be somewhat less difficult.

It's okay to keep your interest in new activities, but the body of this plan, that is, the main structure must contain activities that are always the same on the same days at the same hour. The plan should be made in the image and likeness of the schedules to which the child was used to in class, which is why it is very important to take into account what subjects he did each week.

2. Hang the schedule in writing

It is very important to leave the written planning in a well visible place in the house, preferably on the door of the refrigerator or a place where the child will spend a lot of time during confinement (desk, living room or his bedroom). The schedule should have visual elements that easily indicate what the child has to do (p. eg, doing math homework = drawing a calculator), marking the subjects or types of homework in different colors.

In case the school has not organized a specific schedule of virtual classes, it is especially recommended that the child do homework after breakfast, just at a time when he is already awake and still not too tired to to concentrate. Everything that is leisure can be done in the afternoon, which is the recommended time for it. You can tell him that if he manages to do his homework in the morning he will have the whole afternoon free for whatever he wants to do.

3. Agree on planning

It is very important that children participate in planning. The idea is not that they do everything they want, but neither that they are imposed only boring activities, which they are going to leave halfway through and are going to change them for all kinds of distractors that they themselves they will search.

For this reason we should talk to them about what they would like to do to, as far as possible, turn it into educational and recreational activities, something that serves to entertain but also learn.

4. Take care of personal habits

But in addition to taking into account school activities, personal habits must also be established and maintained. Many children associate the idea of ​​being at home with a holiday, something that should not happen in confinement because it can seriously alter their sleep patterns, hygiene and, of course, study. In fact, this is not only something that has happened to young children, with or without ADHD, but also to adults.

For this reason it is essential to clearly mark in the schedule what time they should wake up, when they should go to sleep, indicate the days that they should shower or bathe, when brush their teeth, when to dress (they shouldn't wear pajamas at home all day), what time can they watch TV, how long... and any other behavior that we happen. They must understand that no matter how much they are at home, they are still on a weekday and, therefore, they must be studying.

As parents we must ensure that this is accomplished. If the child does not wake up on his own, we will have to wake him up even if it tastes bad to us. Also, we must respect the hours of breakfast, lunch, snack and dinner and, if possible, set a meal schedule imitating the same that the school canteens follow. The idea is that the child's life is as organized as possible, despite the uncertainty of not knowing when she will be able to go out again to see her classmates or play in the park.

5. Involve the child in household chores

In addition to organizing educational tasks and personal habits, we can take advantage of confinement for the child to help us with household chores, this being a great way to get him to channel her hyperactive energy into something that she will have to learn sooner or later in order to be an adult functional. They can agree on tasks in which parents and children help each other, such as sweeping, making the beds, cleaning the dishes ...

Involving the child in household chores will make him learn things that will serve him for the future and that, as a rule, are not taught in school, much less in a virtual classroom. In addition, it will serve for parents and children to share a moment together, not necessarily playful, but yes significant since children will see that they can be useful and help their parents in caring for the home.

6. Reward the child appropriately

In general, kids with ADHD need short-term gratification. For this reason, tasks should be organized in such a way that, after doing a less pleasant one, do one that does interest you in order to keep their attention. For example, if you don't like doing homework or studying math but you do like reading, we can organize his morning putting the activity "doing homework" first followed by "reading" and then "doing math". The idea is to intersperse the activities so that the gratification is not continuous but is not too delayed either.

Nevertheless, the "jackpot" must arrive in the afternoon. The playful moment of the day should come at a time when the child is too tired to be able to continue studying, usually after 5:00 p.m. It is that moment when you can play video games, do sports at home, listen to music, do crafts or watch TV. It is also very important to specify which leisure activities you can do alone and which you can do with your parents.

Although electronic devices are a prize like any other, it is very important to limit their use, especially considering that as Children will not be able to leave the house or have direct contact with their friends, they will most likely lose track of time using these appliances. If we let them use them, we should watch them while, or at least put a parental control program and program the device to turn off after a while.

• You may be interested in: "Types of motivation: the 8 motivational sources"

7. Communicate with the school

It's very important stay in touch with the school to find out what to do. It is important to know what supports our child receives in class and how the continuity of what they have learned at home could be maintained. We should ask teachers what we should do to keep our child organized, focused, and on task. The following questions cannot be omitted:

• "What worked with my son when he wanted him to focus?"

• "How can I help you with your homework?"

8. Organize sessions with other parents

With the experience of the first confinement, many parents learned the importance of staying connected and organizing so that your sons and daughters can see at least one screen. If it had not been for these sessions, many children would not have seen their peers for more than 6 months, taking into account that the de-escalation began just when the academic year ended.

However, many times these sessions were anarchic, in the sense that they were remembered from one day to the next. Ideally, parents should organize at least one weekly session for children to share what they have learned. happened during the week, what homework have you done, what would you like to do when you can get back together or play a game at line.

These sessions can be especially nutritious for parents too, especially within a group with children with ADHD. Surely one of the parents has discovered an activity or strategy that allows them to emotionally regulate their child in such difficult times and that they will have no problem sharing with others. You can also create a separate group to discuss how they are going to set it up to coordinate children's learning at home.

Naturally, in addition to the parents, the boys 'and girls' teachers should also be consulted. The teacher is not simply the adult who goes to class and explains what they have to learn, but a man or woman who is as referential as a parent can be. For this reason you have to keep them informed and also ask for information and, as a virtual recreation, organize a game session also including them.

9. Using positive attention

Positive attention is the most powerful motivator for influencing children's behavior, and it is especially so with children with ADHD. Children with attention and impulse control issues benefit greatly from receiving large, encouraging, and intense praise.. When we speak of positive care we should not think in terms of whether our comments are negative or positive, but in how long and in what way we pay attention to them and the quality of the herself.

It is not the same to tell the child a short and concise “Good job” than a “Wow! Good for starting homework so early! ” The second comment is more personal, better thought out, and has a much more motivating component. The child tries harder if she sees that adults value her effort. The child must see that what she does is valued, not that she is allowed to do homework to keep him away from adults and prevent him from bothering them while they are teleworking.

10. Tell you when adults are free

Finally we are going to talk about something that has more to do with adults than with children: teleworking. In a confinement it is not only the classes of the smallest that stop being face-to-face but also the way of working changes. During the first lockdown this was especially chaotic for those workers who had never done such a job in their entire lives. such as working from home, having to do household chores and take care of the children at the same time, that is, juggling lifetime.

For this reason it is very important make children understand that there will be times when they will have to do their homework or entertain themselves. The problem is that adults do not always go with fixed schedules, so we cannot tell the child that we are going to be free at a specific time of day because we ourselves do not know if it is going to be true or not. For this reason, as an alternative, we can use a semaphore code to tell the boy or girl if mom or dad is free.

This method is not very complicated. It simply consists of putting a green (free) or red (occupied) card on the office door or wherever the child can see it and know if the adult is free or not. If both parents are working, they can both use the same method using their own traffic lights. Thus, parents can take turns playing or watching over the child.

It is also very important that if we have promised to spend some time with our child with ADHD, although it also applies to one without the disorder, we are not distracted. If you have asked us to help you with your homework or want to play Parcheesi, we must leave your work mail or mobile phone closed out of sight. The idea is to spend time with our son, disconnect from work now that we can and take advantage of this father / mother-son / daughter moment, which is one of the few good things that confinement gives us.

Conclusions

Caring for children with ADHD is no longer easy in normal situations due to their emotional regulation problems, self-control and impulsiveness, something that is even more complicated in times of confinement. In the hypothetical case that we are locked up in our homes again, it is expected that the children will be very nervous about not being able to go out and play outside and expend all the hyperactive energy that their little bodies are capable of produce. The first confinement caught us by surprise, the second no longer.

Routine is essential to help a child with ADHD get through confinement in the least overwhelming way possible.. Knowing when to do homework, alternating pleasant activities with those you like least, is one way perfect way to keep him busy and keep learning at a time when the main place of learning, school, is closed. Personal habits, sleep pattern, hygiene, and teach him how to help at home should also be monitored.

Finally, it is essential to keep him in contact with his friends, since, as with the first, we do not know how long a new confinement could last. It could be weeks, it could be months, it could be half a year. Whatever the weather, it is essential that children know how their classmates are doing, see their faces through video calling applications and can talk about the same topics that they talked about at patio time, only now in a virtual.

Bibliographic references:

• Brown, T.E. (2006). Attention deficit disorder. A mind unfocused on children and adults. Barcelona: Masson.
• Korzeniowsk, C. & Ison, M.S. (2008) Psychoeducational Strategies for Parents and Teachers of minors with ADHD. Argentine Journal of Psychological Clinic, XVII, pp. 65 - 71.