Vengeful people: 10 characteristics that define what they are like

Surely, at some point in our lives, we have all been hurt and we have felt the urge to take revenge. As the saying goes, “revenge is a dish best served cold”, it is better not to act impulsively. Also, after the initial anger, many times we accept the situation and put the idea of ​​revenge aside.

However, there are individuals who are spiteful and vindictive. In this article we will talk about them and review what their main characteristics are.

• Recommended article: "Resentful people: 10 traits and attitudes that characterize them"

Difference between spite and revenge

Rancor and revenge are feelings and actions that can be harmful not only to the person who is a victim, but also to the subject who is vindictive and spiteful. And although these terms are often confused, they are not the same.

The resentment appears after a moral damage, when we feel that something offends us and we want revengeWe wish to pay another with the same coin, the famous “eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth”. Now, when this revenge does not materialize, it remains a simple resentment, because resentment is a thought and revenge a action, that is, when we behave in a hostile way and want the other person to suffer the consequences of having us hurt. Although they are different phenomena, they go hand in hand.

Characteristics of vengeful people

But, How are vengeful subjects? What characteristics do they present?

In the following lines we answer these questions.

1. Lack of empathy

Lack of empathy is a characteristic of vindictive people. This does not mean that they do not show empathy with some close friends, but when anger appears, empathy disappears.

Studies suggest that to harm another person we must see them as a threat and not empathize with them. This is a trait that psychopaths show, as you can see in our article “Psychological profile of a psychopath, in 12 unmistakable traits”.

2. Poor capacity for self-awareness

These individuals are usually people with a poor capacity for emotional self-awareness., that they are unable to detect when they feel anger and when they are about to explode as a result of resentment.

The resentment makes the person miserable, and instead of focusing on himself and accepting the situation, it causes him to live in a vicious circle in which he needs to hurt the other person.

3. Poor emotional management

Poor emotional management skills are accompanied by poor emotional managementBecause if resentment and thoughts of revenge are not detected, it is difficult to avoid it.

We have all felt great pain at times and we have wished that the person who caused it would suffer it in their own flesh, but not all of us act and take revenge, because we know that in the long run it does not benefit us and can harm us.

4. They believe they possess the absolute truth

They are usually individuals who believe that their truth is the absolute truth and that they do not make mistakes. They are intolerant and have rigid thinking. They feel the least bit offended when someone doesn't act or think like them. They may seem good but hide a great aggressiveness if things are not as they want.

5. Dichotomous thinking

This mental rigidity leads them to have a dichotomous thinking, in which everything is right or wrong. They do not see the nuances that can be in life and in interpersonal relationships.

For example, when a love relationship goes through a bad time due to the lack of dialogue (and the other person doubts), they may want take revenge on your partner instead of understanding that the situation and continuous conflicts, many times, can lead us to be confused. What is needed in these moments is to communicate and be empathetic, not vindictive.

6. They do not forgive and they do not forget

Vengeful people are spiteful people because they don't forget. By having the dichotomous thinking that I have spoken about in the previous point, they do not accept the situation that they see as a threat.

By not forgiving, they live anchored in the past, far from the present, which is where a person's well-being is. Although sometimes we are not aware, forgiveness has many benefits and is key to our emotional balance. We explain it to you in our article "Forgiveness: should I or should I not forgive the one who hurt me?”.

7. They don't learn from the past

Therefore, they are individuals who live in the past, remembering the fact that hurt them over and over again. Bad past experiences are great opportunities to grow, but you need to take advantage of them and not take them personally. Otherwise, it is impossible to move forward.

8. They are proud people

Vengeful people are usually proud people, who think that others are attacking them. This causes a defensive attitude that does not favor the smooth running of interpersonal relationships.

Despite showing strong, in reality, they are showing weak, because when you have confidence in yourself, you accept the situation and move on.

• Related article: "5 tips to stop being so proud”

9. They live an eternal drama

There are people who go through life with optimism, who face the obstacles that are found along the way and turn the page once they are overcome. But these types of people have a grudge and revenge deep inside and they continually relive it. Instead of getting over it and moving on with your life, they recreate the facts over and over again.

10. They are unsafe

Confident people do not give more importance to the facts that affect them. They may be upset when a personal relationship has bad times, but then they move on. They live their life to the fullest, because they know that they must go their way to achieve personal development and the goals they want to achieve.

To be vindictive is to want to harm other people and it diverts the individual from the path that he must follow in order to be happy. Revenge may seem like a good option at one point, but it can be detrimental in the long run.