How to deal with negativity? 6 practical tips

One of the most widespread cultural traits in Western societies is, without a doubt, negativity. Whether in the media, in the family environment or either coming from ourselves, it is almost automatic to see things from the worst perspective.

The negativity bias makes us filter only the bad from what happens to us, while the good is less valued or, directly, ignored. How to deal with negativity? It seems like an impossible task, but it is not.

Next we will see what techniques we can follow to face this type of pessimistic thinking, in addition to dig a little deeper into how we ourselves are largely responsible for our happiness and peace inside.

• Related article: "The 6 types of mood disorders"

How to deal with negativity on a day-to-day basis?

Our degree of inner peace and happiness depends, in large part, on ourselves. It is true that there are certain external factors such as the opinions of our loved ones, the media or the world economic situation that can influence us in such a way that we see the world in a negative way, however, we should not forget that

we are the ones who decide whether or not to put on the filter of negativity.

Despite this truth, this reality is hard to understand. Human beings tend to indulge in our misfortunes and blame other people or our destiny for the bad things that happen to us, or that there is no reason to be optimistic in this world. Normal for us to think like this if we only look at what we think is bad. However, we must understand that there is nothing good or bad on its own, it depends largely on how we see it and, much more important, how we deal with it.

Negativity is the set of thoughts, feelings and beliefs that feed sadness, anguish and all kinds of self-destructive behaviors. If we take a posture loaded with negativity, it is normal that we feel that our plans to be happy and obtain inner peace are frustrated since negativity and happiness are concepts opposites. It is as if we add gasoline to a fire and get angry because it does not go out.

But even though negativity hurts us, we hardly ever stop to think if things are really that bad. as we think we see them, nor do we make a conscious effort to focus on the good things in the world. lifetime. Of course, we would have to be the most unlucky people in the world so that absolutely everything that happens to us had to be bad. As we said, it is a question of filters: if the filter is positive, we will look at the good; if the filter is negative, we will look at the bad.

If we stop to think and analyze the way we see things, we will surely observe that on many occasions It is our way of seeing things, marked by the most extreme negativity, which feeds our bad mood and pessimism. Good and bad things happen to us, but the bad becomes the center of attention and the good becomes miniscule.

It can also happen that we are optimistic people or that we make the effort to see the good side of things. However, there is always someone in our environment who sees things wrong, excusing himself that he is simply "realistic" and tries to make us see things "as they are". The problem is that his way of seeing the world is not the absolute reality, rather the opposite, but of course it plunges us a bit into misery. It is not that he is a bad person, it is not that he wants to see us suffer, simply his filter of negativity skews the world he perceives, and he does not realize that he is in error.

Whether we are negative people or a person close to us who exerts an important influence, there are a number of guidelines to get rid of this negativity, helping us to see the good side of the immense world in which we live and to understand that Our happiness and inner peace often depend on ourselves and the way we decide how to perceive what we happens.

Characteristics of negative people

Before going into more detail about how to deal with negativity, let's discover what are the main features of a negative person, so that we can identify them in ourselves or in people with whom we relate to frequency.

In order to deal with pessimism and negativity bias, it is necessary to understand what behaviors are associated with it.. Negative people usually have the following:

• Excess of comparison with the others.
• They always look at what others have and they don't.
• Hostility.
• Little ability to adapt.
• Excess dramatization.
• Constant complaints, the main topic of their conversations.
• Surrender to any problem or misfortune, no matter how small.
• Unrealistic decision making.
• Catastrophic thinking.
• They live with negativity.

Strategies to cope with negativity

Next we are going to see how to face negativity, whether it comes from ourselves or if it comes from some being loved one, family member, coworker or anyone in our environment who has an important influence on our state psychic.

1. Do not judge others

It is very common for negative people to judge and criticize others. We look for and see each of the negative traits of other people. We look for their flaws, their complexes and anything we think is wrong. But this does not go with others, it goes with ourselves.

When we look for the bad in others, what we really do is project what we don't like about ourselves. We judge others to hide how critically and harshly we judge ourselves, since we are not satisfied with how we are, but we do not want to recognize it.

To top it all, constantly looking for the bad in others is not going to make them treat us well. Nobody wants to be around someone who feeds their complexes. It is a matter of time that if we are telling someone that they have gray hair, that they are going bald, that they are fat or any other A trait that we consider negative, no matter how much that person accepts how his body is, he will not want us to remind him of what bad we see in her.

Stopping judging others is a good step to ward off negativity. People will treat us better and we will not be so aware of what is supposedly bad in ourselves or in others. No one is perfect, but no one has absolutely anything good either, we will always find something good in others and in ourselves.

2. Drive away negative ideas

This advice sounds very free, but it is really possible to ward off negative ideas, although it is not easy, and the key is not to obsess over them or try to eliminate them altogether.

It is normal to have very established negative ways of thinking, mental automatisms of which it is difficult to realize and stop. They are depressing, pessimistic ideas, sometimes full of hatred. However, the fact that they are automatic does not mean that we cannot question them.

It is essential that to ward off negative ideas we first detect them. They will come suddenly, they will begin to invade our consciousness, they will overwhelm us, they will anger us and they will interrupt what we were trying to do. At first we will have to make a lot of effort to "stop" them, try to calm down and keep them under control.

It is a matter of practice. If we begin to notice that they begin to manifest, let's pause, and let's focus on some source of stimuli or memories with the ability to capture our attention focus. If it's something that can be fixed, let's do something to fix it. If it can't be fixed, there's no point in focusing on it. Rumination leads to wasting time and energy, and mental fatigue is the gateway to more negativity.

• You may be interested in: "Rumination: the annoying vicious circle of thought"

3. Withdrawing from sources of negativity

As we said, happiness and peace depend on us, but on many occasions there are external factors, difficult to control, that ruin our mood and optimism. We live in an inherently pessimistic society, and the blame for this is primarily the media: the culture of negativity, or rather that of fear, is well established in the media.

Just watch a newscast. An attack in such a city, a flood in such a country, such an illustrious person has just died of cancer... The bad is news. They will rarely talk about a good thing that happened in the world, a place too vast and varied for only sad events to happen. The media greatly condition our way of seeing the world negatively.

Fortunately we can do something. Stay out of the negativity with which we are bombarded many times by the media, is a very good way to start the path to happiness. It is not that we make an apology that we must be totally ignorant about what is happening in the world, but we do have to filter the information we want to receive. There is sad news that knowing them is useless, since we can do nothing to change them, either because it is impossible or because they fall too far.

A good way to filter this information is know a good part of the news through local media. Obviously not everything they put in them will be good news and it is very likely that some unpleasant international news will slip through, however, these media are designed to promote local goods and services, as well as promote local culture and learn about events that have happened nearby and, therefore, we can do something to help in case it is necessary.

4. Leave prejudices

Prejudices are beliefs that can give us a false sense of security. After all, having the world deciphered and understood in very specific categories and based on little data is a convenient and quick way to see it, plus it is a way of assuming that you have more control over the circumstances. However, prejudices take away much more than they give us, especially if they are loaded with negativity.

Opening your mind is a great way to attract happiness and peace of mind. It means being awake to new ideas and getting to know a world that is so vast that it cannot be possible that everything in it is bad. Let us renounce the false assurances and certainties of prejudice and allow entry to a new reality, letting between love and understanding and letting go of hatred and false beliefs.

5. Focus on the positive

As we said, it is very difficult for everything that happens to us to be bad. Some bad things can happen to us, but good things will also happen. We must not allow the negativity scene to run free and make us see only the bad or condemn us to a filter of pessimism..

Focusing on the positive does not mean to stop being realistic or to downplay bad things that, in due measure, should be taken into serious consideration. It means to stop seeing the world as a terrible, dark and gray place.

6. Do not argue for arguing

Whether we are the negative people ourselves or if we have to relate to one of them, it is common for conversations to turn into arguments. Everyone sees things differently, and the most pessimistic people can be even sarcastic with those who want to see the positive side of things. If he or she doesn't want to see things in a positive light, let's step back a bit.

The idea is not to leave it abandoned, but yes avoid getting into confrontation if that cannot bring objective benefits. If we are the negatives, we must know how to identify when we are taking a tone that will lead us to the discussion. Pausing for a while is a very good idea, and we can also try to briefly change the subject, talk about the landscape or something that is inherently neutral.

Discussions can arouse highly polarized points of view and bring up arguments that can become another reason to distrust the world, seeing people as people who always want to impose their opinion. That feeds the negativity even more.

Bibliographic references:

• Rozin, P.; Royzman, E. B. (2001). "Negativity bias, negativity dominance, and contagion". Personality and Social Psychology Review. 5 (4): 296–320. doi: 10.1207 / S15327957PSPR0504_2
• Peeters, G. (1971). "The positive-negative asymmetry: On cognitive consistency and positivity bias". European Journal of Social Psychology. 1 (4): 455–474. doi: 10.1002 / ejsp.2420010405