Three communication skills that will help you in your daily life

Communication skills: the three characteristics of an efficient communicator

In consultations, therapists usually find that the happiest and most satisfied people have three specific relationship skills. Don't be discouraged if you or your partner are not very good at these. communicative skills that we are going to comment on. We are rarely born with the gift of communication, rather they are skills that need to be learned and practiced.

1. Empathy

Empathy refers to being able to put yourself in someone else's shoes and understand their experience and point of view, so that the interlocutor can gain an appreciation for how they feel. Of course, you also have to be able to convey your ideas to that person accurately so that the other person can access that same understanding of your situation.

Most couples struggle with empathy for one simple reason: they believe that they already know what the other feels or thinks simply by having been in a relationship for several years. Countless studies show the imperfection of this assumption: we are bad predictors of what the other thinks, even of our partners. Our assumptions are almost always biased or wrong.

Empathy requires a mental trick: close your eyes and literally imagine being the other person. Put yourself in your perspective, your reality, your priorities, your expectations, your prejudices and your concerns. Only then should you bring the current pressing situation onto the scene and then imagine how the other person perceives the situation and how you would feel in that position.

Empathy is a crucial skill in communication and in human relationships, and also relates to the following essential skill.

2. Emotional Validation

When your partner is angry or upset with you, the last thing you want to do is add to that discomfort by telling them that they have every right to feel that way. But when you convey what happens from an attitude of sympathy and understanding, everything changes. Instead of inciting sadness or anger, your message of emotional validation it can really de-stress the conflict.

Why does this paradox occur?

Emotional validation is something we all seek and long for, usually much more than we think. When we are upset, angry, frustrated, disappointed, or hurt, what we want most is for our partner to understand why we feel this way.

We want them to validate our feelings, transmitting their opinions to us with a generous helping of sympathy.. When that happens, the relief and catharsis we experience are enormous. We can then achieve a true release from lower instincts and begin to express some of the feelings that we have accumulated, releasing tensions and returning to retake the expressions of affected.

Emotional validation and empathy are hugely important relationship skills. These are complemented by the third skill on our list.

To know more about emotional validation, you can read: "Emotional validation: 6 basic tips to improve it"

3. Honesty and respect

Couples consistently underestimate the impact small gestures of consideration have on the dynamics of your relationship. A nice gesture or sign of affection can almost instantly stop a tense and negative dynamic and return the relationship to a good channel for positive and affective communication.

Obviously, giving a bouquet of flowers or giving a hug cannot reverse the depth of a wound. But when things get tense, courtesy, goodwill, and affection are very powerful weapons in the face of tension, impatience, and negativity.

These three relationship skills go hand in hand. Together they form a foundation of caring, trust, and connection to which couples can more easily return when they are in times of stress, tension, or emotional distance. It is up to each one to make an effort to practice them, improve on them and integrate them into their daily thinking and communication. Communication skills can also be learned: cheer up, they will be of great help to you.