Facebook endangers our relationships

There has been a long talk about whether Internet and new technologies they keep us isolated or not. It is natural, considering that the image of someone giving their full attention to a screen is very iconic and striking.

However, there is a debate that has been opened more recently: can social networks like Facebook put in risk our love relationships, regardless of whether or not we break the rules we have set with our couples?

Some research, such as that published in the journal Cyberpsychology & Behavior, point to the possibility that Facebook is acting as an engine of couple conflicts Y lattice episodes that would not appear if this social network did not exist. Let's see the reasons that can make this happen.

The seed is insecurity, in social networks

The unsafety and the bad self image they are, by themselves, ingredients that can lead to very intense couple crises. Not having too much self-confidence can lead to loss of self-confidence as well. others, leading to think that by being above us they will take advantage of the opportunities they have to deceive us.

In the case of couple relationships, the same can happen, but with an added problem: mistrusting others and feeling unsafe or insecure, and the stereotype of couple roles as a relationship dynamic in which you have to control the person you love, you can cause a false sense of legitimacy to appear to try to control the other person. Of course, this not only damages the relationship, but also leads to actions that threaten the freedom of the couple and causes suffering that cannot be justified.

Too much information?

What does Facebook have to do with this? Well, basically, that this social network can be an enhancer of insecurity, anxiety and mistrust.

For one thing, Facebook floods us with information about the other person. Information that we probably would not have "discovered" in a context of face-to-face interaction with the other person, but which is also tremendously ambiguous, as it is not in context.

The fact of having a lot of information that is also insufficient to understand what you refer to, it can be the bomb that detonates all insecurities and promotes mistrust, because forces us to mentally complete the incomplete data that comes to us... which does not always lead to pleasant conclusions. Somehow, the fact that the most pessimistic and alarming explanations lead to greater excitement and burden emotional makes the kinder hypotheses overshadow and lose prominence: they may be the right ones, but... What if they are not?

Some examples of couples breaking up

In a study published in 2011 in Anthropological Quarterly Some examples can be seen of how insecurity and the fact of having incomplete information can lead to love conflicts. In this investigation, a series of interviews were conducted with several people who have declared that Facebook has harmful result for their relationships (some of them, getting to delete their profile in this social network for that reason).

Some of the answers given refer to photographs, which most of the time appear out of context for most people. This leads to thoughts such as: "when and where was this photo taken with her?" or "why did you stand next to her to take the picture?" You can also think about the fact that the person in question still has his ex-partner added or interacts with one of his publications, and It can even cause anxiety to see that the other person knows and interacts regularly with someone unknown that we consider very attractive or attractive.

These are situations that by themselves do not lead to mistrust, but which can lead to a dynamic that forces people to consider all options in order to fill in the information missing. And, as soon as the first pessimistic explanation seems, doubts appear: rationality and Ockham's razor have little power in the face of irrational fear.