Insecure attachment: the keys to understanding and repairing it

Childhood is a phase of life in which we are more sensitive to what surrounds us, for the good and for the bad.

That is why during the first years it is important to guarantee the correct psychological development of the little ones, so much so that they are happy as to prevent problems that could leave a deep mark on them, difficult to overcome or that can even continue to express themselves in the stage adult.

In this article We will see what one of the psychological elements with the greatest capacity to slow down and harm the psychological development of children consists of: insecure attachment.

• Related article: "Developmental Psychology: main theories and authors"

Why is attachment important in the development of the infant mind?

In the way of speaking we habitually use, attachment refers to an emotional predisposition to react with positive emotions in the presence of someone, and to seek the latter to feel well. However, in the realm of psychology, this concept is a bit more complex.

Thus, when from developmental psychology (one of the branches of behavioral science) we talk about attachment, we are referring to an element belonging to attachment theory, raised by psychiatrist John Bowlby in the mid-twentieth century. This researcher investigated how the relational dynamics between fathers and / or mothers, on the one hand, and the children, on the other hand, shape the way in which the latter learn to interact with the environment and with the the rest.

A) Yes, depending on the degree to which the little ones get used to looking for the proximity of these attachment figures (usually parents), will internalize a more or less healthy way of exploring their environment or the world in general, as they grow. In fact, one of the implications of attachment theory is that this process is reflected in the actions of these children, but also in the actions that they will carry out in the rest of their lives. For this reason, getting them to establish an adequate attachment will be a factor of prevention and psychological protection against certain behavioral and emotional alterations.

Thus, in this sense, attachment is not just an emotional phenomenon of the here and now, but a set of psychological predispositions with a broad journey and evolution of childhood, and that arises from their relationship with their reference attachment figures, who are caregivers primary.

• You may be interested in: "The 6 stages of childhood (physical and mental development)"

What is insecure attachment?

As we have seen, Attachment is a key aspect in the evolution of children's psychological capacities when interacting with the world. This is so because having a good relationship with the attachment figure allows for a balance between the freedom to explore the environment, on the one hand, and have the security of being able to return to the caregiver's "refuge", on the one hand the other.

This already gives us a clue as to what type of attachment is most appropriate for child development, and what is called “secure attachment”. The little ones who internalize it develop from their first years of life a balanced level of self-esteem that encourages them to continue learning on their own, without suffering anxiety problems or other emotional imbalances generated by uncertainty about what it will happen.

Insecure attachment is thus the other side of the coin. Children who develop it cannot find a good fit between the challenges posed by their environment and their confidence in self or their ability to anticipate consequences and plan actions, on the other, and suffer emotional problems with frequency. It is a type of attachment that arises facilitated by inappropriate or directly negligent parenting models on the part of fathers, mothers and / or guardians.

At the same time, insecure attachment is divided into two possible types: avoidant attachment and ambivalent attachment. In the first, the child ignores or avoids the attachment figure, giving it almost the same treatment as a person whom you know little, as a result of an uncompromised or almost uncommitted parenting model non-existent. In the second, he feels anxiety in the absence of the attachment figure, but having it by his side also feels discomfort and resists maintaining a close contact, often expressing anger, which is facilitated by the lack of consistency and predictability in the actions of the / a caregiver.

Both types of insecure attachment often lead to dysfunctional ways of establishing relationships with others., both at work and in friendships and even relationships. That is why it is important to apply a balanced parenting model adjusted to the needs of the children, such as going to psychotherapy if there are alterations derived from these problematic situations in the stage childish.

In the psychological therapy sessions we will work on aspects such as:

• The repair of self-esteem.
• Training in social skills.
• The questioning of maladaptive beliefs about the dangers to which oneself is exposed, and what relationships can offer.
• The management of anxiety in situations of uncertainty.

Do you want to have psychotherapeutic support?

If you are looking for psychotherapy services for yourself or your son or daughter or you are interested in having counseling services on parenting issues, get in touch with us.

On Psychotools We have been helping families and people of all ages with emotional or emotional disturbances for many years. behavioral sessions and we hold sessions both in person at our center located in the Gràcia district of Barcelona, ​​and through video call.

Bibliographic references:

• Bowlby, J. (1977). The making and breaking of affectional bonds. The British Journal of Psychiatry, 130 (3): 201-210.
• Bowlby, J. (1988). A Secure Base: Clinical Applications of Attachment Theory. London: Routledge.
• Madigan, S.; Bakermans-Kranenburg, M.J.; Van Ijzendoorn, M.H.; Moran, G.; Pederson, D.R., Benoit, D. (2006). Unresolved states of mind, anomalous parental behavior, and disorganized attachment: a review and meta-analysis of a transmission gap. Attachment & Human Development, 8 (2): pp. 89 - 111.
• Main, M.; Cassidy, J. (1988). Categories of response to reunion with the parent at age 6. Developmental Psychology, 24 (3): pp. 415 - 426.
• Shaffer, D. (2000). Developmental psychology Childhood and adolescence. Thomson Publishing: Madrid.