The causes and effects of Gender Violence

“There are criminals who so openly proclaim‘ I killed her because she was mine ’, just like that, as if it were something of common and just sense of all justice and the right to private property, which makes man the owner of the woman. But none, none, not even the most macho of the super males have the courage to confess "I killed her out of fear," because at the end of the day, the fear of the woman to the violence of the man is the mirror of the fear of the man to the woman without afraid."

—Eduardo Galeano

There is a long history of generations and centuries through which the inequality between men and women, always based on a myriad of arguments: theological, psychological, moral and even biological.

This way of thinking has enshrined multiple forms of aberrant treatment of women, covert treatment and fed in the strictest privacy, however, today it is frankly impossible to continue hiding this reality.

It may interest you: "The 30 signs of psychological abuse in a relationship"

First approaches to gender violence

It is very common that when talking about this topic terms are confused and meanings are mixed, that is why in the first place we should differentiate the dichotomy between violence Y aggressiveness, to avoid offering value judgments and making certain stereotypical attributions.

Aggression and violence

We therefore understand how aggressiveness that innate and adaptive capacity of the human being that guarantees his own survival, while the concept of violence It responds to a set of social values ​​associated with aggressiveness, so that in this case we are facing maladaptive and socially learned behavior.

When a woman who is a victim of gender violence requires professional intervention, a group of particularities must be taken into account so as not to fall into the trap of trivializing her experience, offering contributions that involuntarily blame her or arouse in her a certain sense of incomprehension.

Characteristics of gender violence

• The violent event is not the result of an isolated event, since occurs systematically.
• They are usually invisible, that is, appear in a private setting and it is the same women who hide in the panic caused by having to expose their reality.
• Many times the aggressor offers an impeccable image towards society, which unfortunately makes the situation difficult to believe or understand.
• There is a feeling in victims that the circumstances they are experiencing are not as serious as to express them publicly, a fact that entails an added difficulty when seeking help external.
• All this gear is the result of a true inequality between men and women derived from the patriarchal code that still resonates among society today. This code is the same one that leads the aggressor to use mechanisms of control and condemnation of the woman.

How does gender violence work?

Violence within a relationship does not appear overnight, it walks through endless crossroads before the victim can identify the ordeal that her bond with her aggressor. According to the American psychologist Leonor Walker, violence runs through a cycle made up of three phases.

When a woman enters the bowels of this circle, she is when she stops visualizing possible escape alternatives and finds herself prey to the situation. From it a cognitive dissonance between the enjoyment experienced in the relationship and the nameless discomfort that he suffers, because contrary to what is usually thought, there are not only shouts, insults, threats and blows, there is also tenderness, affection and sweet details that make the woman bloom the thought of having finally found the man of her lifetime.

First phase: increased tension in the couple

In the first phase of the cycle the nameless malaise begins to come to life, there is an increase in tension between both members, timid signs of what will later be the aggression are established, such as screaming and small fights. The woman accepts these abuses as legitimately directed at her because she thinks that she may be worthy of such aggression.

The assaulted person tries to find endless excuses and reasons to understand what is happening, to the point of supposing that, due to her behavior or attitude, she is the one who has caused the go to of her aggressor, and what perpetuates the cycle the most, she tends to think that over time she will be able to change the behavior of her partner, a fact that in no case is fulfilled.

This phase it can last days, weeks, months or even years no major incidents of aggression are triggered before. From the perspective of man, he is increasingly sensitive, everything bothers him, he gets irritated with great ease, and he gets angry about objectively insignificant things.

Second phase: fury unleashes

In the second phase proposed by L. Walker an unstoppable discharge of tensions is experienced that have been accumulating during the course of the previous phase. There is a lack of control over the totally destructive behavior, the woman accepts that the anger of the aggressor of her is out of control but she cannot do anything to calm her down, it is in this phase when physical aggression or total destruction arises psychological.

The aggressor is the only one who can put an end to this state. Its duration is around 2 to 24 hours, during which the woman is blamed for everything that happened. It should be noted that it is at this time that the woman is completely susceptible and is open to receiving professional help due to the great fear that she feels about being abused again.

Third phase: repentance of the aggressor

In the third and final phase before starting the whole cycle again, a state of deep regret is experienced by the aggressorof her, which takes advantage of the vulnerability of the victim to offer docile doses of affection and attention, showing at all times a behavior and an attitude of affliction and internal remorse.

It is at this time where the entire cycle of violence is perpetuated, the woman feels loved and happy again, which leads to placing herself in a position of full trust towards her aggressor. The duration of this stage denotes a shorter duration than the first phase but longer than the second, so try to offer help in this moment will not bring any positive results, the woman is once again deeply in love and subject to the will of her aggressor. As the cycle repeats itself, this third phase tends to be minimized until it ends up disappearing, at which point the Honeymoon comes to an end.

Some conclusions

The feeling that there is no way out

The repetition of these cycles is what usually leads to an increase in violence, which translates into greater danger for women, who begin to think that there is no alternative or possible way out, thus immersing themselves in the deepest surrender. The truth is that, on occasions, shocking or traumatic events leave the person who suffers them anchored on the day or time in which they occurred, thus activating a state of shock that can paralyze all life in a second.

Complaints that are eventually withdrawn

It is also the repeated succession of these cycles the reason why many women tend to withdraw complaints filed and many even wish to return to their aggressors to resume the relationship, a situation that most of society does not understand Never.

About him Day against gender violence

We should not promote no to gender violence only one day a year, it must be a constant speaker to reach those ears that have lost all will to move on, the first step must be to make ourselves aware of how this fabric that subtly envelops its victim is woven and evolves.

“More than thirty thousand women appear as victims of gender violence in the set of 32,023 complaints filed in judicial bodies. Requests for protection orders increased by more than 9 percent. The president of the Observatory, Ángeles Carmona, understands that the increase in complaints and convictions may reveal a greater social and institutional awareness regarding sexist violence " 

(Communication of the Judiciary, October 19, 2015)