Grief over the death of a family member: 5 ways it can affect us

The death of a family member is one of the most frequent reasons why people feel they need psychotherapeutic help.

This is understandable, since in many cases, the absence of that loved one becomes something in which one thinks constantly during the first days after death, and this implies psychological exhaustion Sure.

Here we will see what are the most common psychological effects of mourning the death of a family member, to better understand this phenomenon.

• Related article: "The 8 types of emotions (classification and description)"

How can grief over the death of a family member affect us?

Psychological grief is a psychological alteration of mainly emotional type that arises after experiencing situations of loss, that is, events in which something or someone very important to us disappears from our lives, totally or partially.

The example of grief par excellence is the one that appears in most people when one of their loved ones dies, since this supposes the definitive loss of someone very significant to one same.

Most cases of psychological grief do not lead to mental disorder or evolve into what is known as "complicated grief", but that does not mean that it does not produce severe pain during the days or weeks in which it is Present. Here we will see what are the main emotional and behavioral implications of a "normal" grief for the death of a relative.

1. Obsessive rumination

Obsessive rumination consists of thoughts and mental images that appear in consciousness frequently and that despite causing discomfort, we are not able to "block" them.

In the case of people who are experiencing a grieving process, these mental contents that arise in their consciousness again and again often refer to what they have lost, the experiences that will no longer be repeat, etc.

2. Anxiety

Anxiety is also a common phenomenon in those who suffer from the death of a family member. Many of these people feel that the situation overwhelms themThat they do what they do can be turned against them and, ultimately, they interpret that all kinds of sources of pain and discomfort are exposed.

In part, this is because living a death closely involves having a very clear reminder that you are vulnerable.

• You may be interested: "The 7 types of anxiety (characteristics, causes and symptoms)"

3. Trouble sleeping

Problems falling asleep are relatively common in people who have recently lost a loved one, and they are due, in part, to the emotional imbalances that we have explained before.

Even people who are in a process of psychological grief do not have problems when it comes to falling asleep (for example, being exhausted from having spent most of the day subject to anxiety) may suffer problems in the quality of their sleep due to nightmares, which are more common in situations So.

4. Melancholia

In any normal grieving process, it is very common to fantasize that the person who died is still alive and we can continue to relate to them.

It is a way of releasing the tension accumulated by the frustration of not being able to be with her, but at the same time, this creates the feeling that reality is not capable of satisfying us.

5. Dysfunctional habits

When the most painful emotions are on the surface, we expose ourselves more to the risk of adopting harmful habits, because we are tempted by the idea of ​​looking for distractions and experiences that help us mask the discomfort.

Examples of these kinds of harmful coping strategies are the tendency to binge on food. even without being hungry, the postponement of responsibilities to be able to spend more time watching television, etc.

Grief does not involve developing depression and post-traumatic stress disorder

There are two psychopathological alterations that, although they are not part of the grieving processes themselves, many people tend to intuitively associate them with the concept of the death of family members: depression and post-traumatic stress. How common is it for them to appear after losing a loved one?

From what has been seen from research on this topic, the occasions in which psychological grief gives way to one of these two disorders (or both at the same time) are relatively uncommon, although it must be borne in mind that depressive disorders with or without grief are quite common.

This means that although post-traumatic stress disorder and major depression are not rare mental disorders, it is not very likely that a psychological grief will stand up at the onset of these.

On the one hand, most grief cases are almost completely resolved after a few weeks or a few months, and they do not lead to a mood disorder such as major depression.

Of course, people who have already suffered episodes of depression in the past have a higher risk of relapse after passing for one of these losses, but even in these cases, a death does not necessarily imply a re-development symptom.

On the other hand, post-traumatic stress usually develops when experiencing a catastrophic or violent event, which is an emotional shock, and a large number of deaths do not present these characteristics. Even in those people who have developed complicated grief and who have witnessed a violent death, the cases in which they develop post-traumatic stress do not reach 65%.

Are you looking for psychotherapeutic help before grief?

In therapy it is possible to learn to properly manage the emotions and habits associated with the maintenance of grief, to be able to overcome it in the best possible way.

If you are going through painful moments due to a grieving process that is difficult for you, we invite you to get in touch with our team of professionals.

Psychomaster is a mental health assistance center in which we work psychologists and psychiatrists with many years of experience and trained in the most effective methods when caring for patients of all ages ages.

You can count on our services both in person at our facilities in Madrid and through online therapy. To see more information about Psicomaster, go to this page.

Bibliographic references:

• Archer, J. (1999). The nature of grief: The evolution and psychology of reactions to loss. London, England: Routledge.
• Bayés, R. (2001). Psychology of suffering and death. Barcelona: Martínez Roca.
• Neria, Y.; Gross R.; Litz B. et al. (2007). Prevalence and psychological correlates of complicated grief among bereaved adults 2.5-3.5 years after September 11th attacks. Journal of Traumatic Stress; 20: pp. 251 - 262.
• Payás, A. (2008). Psychological functions and treatment of obsessive rumination in grief. Rev. Asoc. Esp. Neuropsiq., 28 (102): pp. 307 - 323.
• Shear, K., Frank, E., Houck, P., & Reynolds, C. (2005). Treatment of complicated grief: A randomized controlled trial. JAMA, 293: pp. 2601 - 2608.
• Stroebe M., Schut H. & Boerner K. (2017) Coping models in grief: an updated summary. Psychology Studies, 38 (3): pp. 582-607.
• Worden, W.J. (2004). Treatment of grief: psychological counseling and therapy. Barcelona: Paidós.