A funny short about our weapons of seduction

Seduction is a dance of unconscious movements that bring us closer to each other with the aim of seeing and recognizing each other, which aims to like us while preserving our own need, always understanding that of the person in front of us.

It is a process in which two individuals approach and interact with a more or less explicit purpose of reaching an intimate encounter. Weapons of seduction make flirting more effective and exciting.

• Related article: "Anti-attraction: 7 gestures and attitudes of people who do not seduce"

A short about seduction

With a fun short animation titled Split brain, the therapists of the Mensalus Institute of Psychological and Psychiatric Assistance tell us about the weapons of seduction and self-confidence.

You can watch the short film below.

When do we try to seduce?

By nature we want to be liked, not only in the sexual field, but in all areas. Seduction goes much further. We constantly seduce.

The weapons of seduction are those communication skills at the verbal and non-verbal level that make it easier for us to express and receive feedback. It is what we would colloquially call "seeking to make a mark.

From the most psychological point of view, how can we understand this "leaving a mark"?

We can understand it from the ability to connect with the person or people to whom we are addressing. For this, one of the main keys is the empathic gaze and listening, that is, that ability to dedicate our time and energy in understanding what is happening in the moment in which we are located, without avoiding us and being physically and mentally present.

Is seduction born or made?

Perhaps we could say that neither one thing nor the other. The seduction process is the result of a combination: being faithful to how one is “born” (one's own essence) and being attentive to everything that is also done, with time and experience. The balance between personality traits, the most core values ​​and vital learning, offers a meaningful image of ourselves (this is the cover letter for the seduction).

We transfer this sense when we communicate. The harmony between the elements that define us gives and gives off security, a security that others see and respond to.

How can we work on this security?

The phrase "to like you have to be sure of yourself" claims that "the pieces of the puzzle" fit, that is, that what we show is in line with our thinking and our emotion.

From Psychology we work on the coherence between our belief system, feelings and actions to starting from dynamics that reveal who that person is, what moves them and what goals they want get. Sometimes, the goals we pursue do not fit with our vital needs and that is where the discomfort appears as a result of incongruity.

Be aware of those comfort zones in which we remain immersed due to "fear of" (fear of disappointment, fear of being wrong, fear of losing, fear of not liking, fear of be different, etc.) is the first step to reconnect with the core values ​​(those that define how the person builds life) and draw an action for the change.

In this sense, social desirability (the desire to like and be accepted) can obscure individual need ("others expect me ..."). Seduction seeks to please while preserving one's own need and understanding that of the person in front of us.

So, is empathy essential to seduce?

Exactly. And this is a failure that we often comment on, not only with regard to seduction in the sexual field, but also in the world of advertising, information, services, etc.

One of the successes of seduction is understanding what is happening around us through maintaining the position of the spectator (the objective gaze).

Likewise, enjoying the bond that we create, whatever the type, is another of the great ingredients we seek. It may sound cliché, but it is a great truth. From the moment we stop understanding seduction as a pleasurable act of personal fulfillment, possibly, it will be much more difficult for us to see and be seen.

What does attraction psychology say?

Attraction is a phenomenon closely linked to seduction, but... what does science say about it? What results have the research on attraction yielded? Do we like them handsome or ugly? What do studies tell us about body language?

If you are interested in knowing some of the scientific conclusions about attraction, you can read this article: "The psychology of attraction, in 12 keys”.