Can you listen? Important aspects of active listening

A study confirms that most people are unable to actively listen to their interlocutor for more than 3 minutes at a time. On the other hand, various surveys reveal that approximately 50% of the Spanish population feels lonely.

It is inevitable to think that there is a parallel between feelings of loneliness and isolation and a society that has not learned to listen.

Is hearing the same as listening?

The first thing we must do is make the difference between hearing and listeningr. While hearing simply means receiving information through our auditory channels, listening implies intentionality. It implies an effort to attend to what the other person tells us, in an attempt to create effective and empathetic communication.

What difficulties prevent us from listening actively?

Do we know how to listen carefully to our interlocutor? There are several reasons that can interfere and detract from the quality of the active listening. Some of them are as follows.

1. Inability to tolerate silence

Most people feel uncomfortable when there is silence in a conversation, especially in the presence of strangers. That is why while the interlocutor speaks they think what they are going to say next, decreasing attention to the information transmitted in the speaker so as not to be left with nothing to say immediately.

2. Trials and comparisons

In many cases, what makes listening difficult is a series of judgments that are emitted in the thought that have nothing to do with what the The speaker tries to expose (I like her shirt, the green color doesn't look good on her, it seems she's gotten fat, her short hair looks better than me, etc.).

3. Focus of attention

It consists of focusing attention only on one aspect of the conversation and thinking about it, ignoring the rest of the information that the speaker emits.

4. Have "the mind elsewhere"

This is one of the most common interferences. While the interlocutor is talking, the person begins to remember an event that happened the other day, to plan dinner that night or to think about the job interview that she has the next day, paying little or no attention to what the other person tells her.

5. Be pending to please

This happens especially in insecure people. They focus on thinking if their posture is correct, if they are smiling enough, if the answers they are giving are the ideal ones, etc. Losing attention span and therefore quality of listening.

6. Continuous interruptions

There are certain people who for various reasons need to continually speak and be the center of attention in a conversation. That is why they continually interrupt the speaker's speech by providing data from their own personal experience, taking the conversation to their ground to be able to talk about themselves or broadcast advice.

7. Environmental distractions

Surely we have all felt the frustration of wanting to talk to someone who is constantly looking at their mobile, television or their computer screen. Environmental distractions make listening very difficult, as attention is divided towards several different stimuli.

Active listening to communicate better

Therefore, If we want to learn to listen actively, we must strive to reduce all these inferences and develop our attention span in the here and now.

Create a climate of respect where we understand that what the other person has to tell us is important, and deserves, for So much so that we put the five senses into it, just as we would like the people who listen to us to do U.S.

"Listen, you will be wise. The beginning of wisdom is silence ”—Pitágoras