The 8 types of emotional blackmail, and signs to detect it

Relationships, whether in a couple or less associated with emotional ties, they are always complex. This means that, although it is true that they allow us the option of creating friendships and love affairs very well-established, they also leave ample room for things to go wrong for a wide variety of reasons.

The different types of emotional blackmail that exist realize how complicated these relationships are, as they are a way of making us feel guilty about what happened in the past, when what has actually happened is no reason to feel bad about you same. This is: there are ways to get that, looking back, we see a trajectory of events that almost forces us to do what the other person wants.

• Related article: "Psychological profile of the emotional blackmailer, in 5 traits and habits"

The types of emotional blackmail

In this article we will see what those types of emotional blackmail are and what are the ideas and messages that are hidden behind them.

1. The elephant in the room

The concept of "elephant in the room" refers to an idea or fact that, although it is important and

is present in the thoughts of all the people involved, it is not faced, it is avoided to talk about it.

In the same way, a type of emotional blackmail is based precisely on pretending a supposed normality in such a forced way that it is clear that there is something wrong, the topic being "canceled" some kind of conflict that both members of a relationship know about and that they should talk to work it out.

The fact that someone acts towards another person in a way that shouts out the existence of a taboo it is something that creates a rarefied atmosphere in which conflict is sensed all the time and, therefore, guilt does not leave us.

2. Self-punishment

Punishing oneself in front of the other member of the couple is one of the most frequently used forms of emotional blackmail, for its simplicity and for its emotional impact.

Furthermore, the negative implications of self-punishment are so strong that it is even possible to fake them, since the The possibility that someone is suffering means that many times we do not stop to critically analyze if it is true or not. For example, one person may pretend to make a sacrifice to answer the other, without that sacrifice existing: He says that he had planned to go see her parents and he will not be able to do it, but perhaps he did not even feel like doing it.

• You may be interested: "The 30 signs of psychological abuse in a relationship"

3. Gaslighting

Gaslighting is a type of manipulation very common in mistreatment contexts. It consists of making the other person believe that her mental capacities do not make her capable of knowing what is really going on, and what you think are reasons to get angry are not really They are.

For example, convincing the other person that something was never promised when it actually happened, and blaming them for making up memories of it. This phenomenon makes the other person feel bad about themselves and believe that it is the other one who is having a lot of patience.

• Related article: "Gaslighting: the subtlest emotional abuse"

4. Suicide threats

It is very important to make clear that not all statements related to the possibility of committing suicide are a form of emotional blackmail. In fact, most people who kill themselves give early warning. That is why in any case, when faced with reactions of this type (for example, in the context of a couple breakup) it is very important to seek professional help.

5. Mercantilist blackmail

It is a type of blackmail in which an attempt is made to induce guilt underlining facts that apparently can be interpreted as sacrifices that have been made by the other person. For example, paying for a few drinks. The logic behind this reasoning is that everything that at first seemed to be a sample spontaneous kindness actually came at a price, one that is decided a posteriori at the convenience of the blackmailer.

6. Verbal abuse

Verbal abuse is considered a form of mistreatment, but it also has a facet as a type of emotional blackmail. This is so because through insults and slights it is possible that the other person internalize the idea that it is worthless, that your own judgment does not matter and that, therefore, the best thing to do is to obey. The self-esteem she looks very resentful.

7. Blackmail of necessity

Some people try to emotionally blackmail others using a type of speech according to which they have "basic needs" they need to satisfy, something they can't fight. This makes being forced to satisfy them seem the most reasonable thing to do, and failure to do so would create guilt.

8. Appropriation

This type of emotional blackmail is typical of some relationships. It is based on the idea that there is one part that protects the other, which in practice means that one of the people must be controlled by your partner. To question this would be to undermine the well-being of the relationship, so there is no attempt to break this dynamic.