Multiple births: how to deal with them?

At first, hearing the news that we are having more than one baby can be overwhelming. But, the most natural thing is that that feeling of uncertainty and, why not say it, of fear, is not only extend throughout the pregnancy until delivery, but is maintained during rearing also.

By definition, the term multiple birth refers to the presence of more than one fetus in the uterus. We are talking about the births of twins, twins, triplets ...

The illusion, joy and expectations of how our children will be, are mixed with doubts, concerns and fear. In reality, this accumulation of sensations is part of the entire parenting process. However, when it is multiple, it entails a series of peculiarities that must be addressed.

• Related article: "The 6 keys to parenting"

And suddenly, two come... or more!

From the beginning, specialized protocols are established in multiple pregnancy and it is categorized as "high risk". Without knowing anything else, this label scares and generates alarm.

It is true, that it is important to know what are the characteristics of a multiple pregnancy, the risks, and maintain the medical monitoring as indicated by the professional, but said label only indicates the distinctive quality of the pregnancy Y

the need for a specific type of supervision. Pregnancy can develop completely naturally without complications.

As the time of delivery approaches, once again all fears and insecurities surface at their best., as well as the excitement and joy at finally meeting our babies. It is common to read and hear myths about multiple births, such as that it has to be by cesarean section, that babies are always born premature, that they will be underweight ...

In the same way that we have commented on in pregnancy, in a multiple birth there are a series of singularities that it is necessary to contemplate. Beyond this, there does not have to be any problem or need to perform a cesarean section.

How to deal psychologically with a multiple birth?

In this article we want to reflect the reality of many multiple families and, in this way, also accompany them in the management of their experience, as there are few paragraphs dedicated to collecting this situation. To do this, we offer the following keys to face it in a healthy way.

1. Trust medical professionals

As we have been commenting, multiple pregnancies and births have different characteristics, so it is important to be informed and know them, but also to enjoy the process you are going through.

2. Allow yourself to feel and express all the emotions and thoughts that you experience

Parenting is surrounded by conflicting and intense feelingsIt is normal to have fear and moments of great stress, as well as excitement and joy.

3. Be flexible

Like any life event that surrounds itself with certain uncertainty, multiple pregnancy is subject to variables that we cannot handle or that do not depend on us. While it's okay to have a plan for how you would like things to play out, the end result may vary. It is important to consider change as one more possibility and that it does not have to assume something negative.

4. Lean on the people around you

Our social circle is very important, both for the logistics of feeding, dressing or holding more than one baby, as well as for the management of the home, as well as on an emotional level.

There are associations that can provide you with information and resolve any doubts that may arise.. But they are also a source of support, where you can share your own experiences and learn from each other.

• You may be interested in: "Are we operating from emotional responsibility?"

5. Don't forget about yourself

Self-care is paramount to maintain a regulated and balanced state.

6. If the situation overwhelms you, go to psychotherapy

Ask for professional help if you think you need it, it is totally valid to do so.

Author: María Espinosa del Olmo, General Health Psychologist and member of the TAP Center.