The 3 most important Theories of Love

Love is undoubtedly one of the most intense and complex feelings that human beings can experience throughout their lives.

So much so, that there are many psychological theories that have been proposed to try to explain it, and even thus it remains a concept that remains difficult to define or reduce to a series of explanations theoretical. Still, we will perform a review of some of the most interesting theories of love.

• Related article: "The 10 main psychological theories"

Psychological models to explain love

In order to talk about the different theories of love, we should first try to introduce this term, knowing the enormous complication involved in this task, since we have already advanced that it is one of the most complex and exciting phenomena that human beings can experience. human.

However, love admits as many definitions as we have perspectives on it. For example, according to evolutionary psychology, love will be a mechanism by which individuals who keep kinship of father and son between them, they ensure mutual support that increases the chances of survival.

Obviously, this is a much colder view than what we are used to. Before we dive into the theories of love, we will look at some more definitions. Biology affirms that there are three impulses in human beings that would make up this feeling, and they are attachment, libido and the choice of a partner.

Furthermore, this field of knowledge points out to us the chemical components behind the feelings of love, in the form of neurotransmitters, hormones and neuropeptides. Some of them are as well known as oxytocin, dopamine, testosterone or estrogens.

Likewise, at a structural level, there are several parts of the nervous system that would be involved in these impulses that biology, as a promoter of one of the theories of love, points out to us. One of the most important is that of the limbic system, or paleomamiferous cortex.

On the other hand, Imaging studies of the brain show us that the middle insula and the anterior cingulate cortex are regions involved in what we experience as a feeling of love.. They are not the only ones, activity was also found in the fusiform regions and the angular convolutions of both hemispheres.

These are just some of the different approaches that can be made towards theories of love. Other disciplines such as philosophy or anthropology could also offer different approaches to try to appreciate this phenomenon from very different perspectives.

The main theories of love

We will now try to focus on some of the theories of love, from a psychological perspective. To do this, we are going to review some of the most important models.

1. Theory of the love triangle

The love triangle theory would be one of the best known love theories in psychology. The creator is the American researcher Robert Sternberg. What this psychologist suggests is that love is made up of three categories, which are what would make up the triangle that gives the model its name. These categories are intimacy, passion, and commitment.

Each of the elements has its own characteristics, and the sum of all of them is what gives rise to love. Intimacy, for example, refers to the desire to experience closeness with the other person, enjoying each other's company, so that the bond between the two becomes stronger.

On the other hand, passion would refer to the excitement, either physical or emotional, that can arise between two individuals. In addition, this condition can even cloud the reason of the person who experiences it, leading him to perform behaviors that could pose a risk to him or others.

Finally, the element of commitment refers to the desire to remain with the other person, due to the satisfaction that is experienced when sharing a relationship with them. According to Sternberg, the author of the first of the theories of love that we are going to review, the sum of the intensity of the components will determine the total intensity of the feeling of love experienced.

But not only that, but the element that is most powerful of the three, will be the one that dictates what kind of love the person in question is feeling. Therefore, the possibilities, depending on the vertex of the triangle that stands out, will be that of intimate or warm love, if intimacy predominates, passionate love, if passion predominates, or committed love, if it is commitment that predominates.

Likewise, depending on the presence of none, some or all of the components, and all their combinations, Stenberg speaks in this model about eight different possibilities, ranging from no love to consummate love, and synthesize the different ways in which a person to love.

• You may be interested in: "Sternberg's triangular theory of love"

2. Color wheel theory

The second of the theories of love that we have to know is that of the color wheel. In this case, the author is John Alan Lee, a psychologist from Canada. Read, through a graphic model represented by a wheel (which gives the theory its name) with a triangle in its interior, a series of love types that include three primary, three secondary and nine of a third level.

Those of the first level would begin with eros, which refers to the erotic or sexual component. This way of loving would be sensual, with passion. If this type of love prevails, we would be facing a relationship between two people based on intuition or what is known as a crush.

Another of Lee's first-rate love types is ludus, a name that refers to the game. In this mode, what stands out is the desire to have fun. Therefore, you will not stand out for a great connection but for the satisfaction of fleeting pleasure.

It will complete the main triad of the theory of love that concerns us, the so-called storge. In this case, the love he refers to is that of a family nature. In this modality, a great commitment between the components stands out. You forge a loyalty typical of kinships and even more important friendships.

After these three types, there are three more, in this case, secondary. The first of these is mania, a term used for some psychopathologies. And it is that, precisely, it refers to that modality of loving that borders on madness. Within the theories of love, this type is the one referred to the obsessive, who establishes an insane dependence.

The next would be agape, and its basis is altruism. It would be the purity of love, a disinterested feeling, in which we act so that the other person has the best, without expecting anything in return. The author relates this type to religion.

The last of the secondary types of love is pragma, which corresponds to pragmatic love. It is the most rational, so it is far from the most romantic conception of love. The choice of partner, therefore, would be made according to interests and expectations.

Lee ends his model with nine forms of tertiary love, which are actually the different possible combinations. among all the above.

3. Attachment theory

To end with a tour of the main theories of love, we cannot fail to review the famous attachment theory, one of the most important in evolutionary psychology. This model was powered by John bowlby, psychiatrist and expert in psychoanalysis. The key to this theory is the affective bond that is established between two people.

Generally, attachment theory is centered on that bond, referring to a child and her caregiver, who would act as the attachment figure. We are talking, therefore, of a type of family love, such as that generated between a father or a mother with her child.

The authors establish a sensitive period, during the first three years of the child's life, which is crucial to be able to establish the attachment links with the figures of reference in a way correct. Depending on how this bond has developed, it could lead to different forms of attachment. This being one of the theories of love, it is important to know those types.

The first of them would be the optimal one, the secure attachment, the one in which the child knows that he has the care of the reference adult and therefore can explore his environment, knowing that you can come back whenever you need to. Anxious attachment is generated when the caregiver has been overprotective of the child. In the ambivalent, the caregiver's response to the child's needs are inconsistent.

The avoidance arises when the caregiver does not meet the requirements of the child. Finally, disorganized attachment involves situations of neglect and even abuse.

With the attachment model, we complete this tour of the main theories of love.

Bibliographic references:

• Bretherton, I. (1992). The origins of attachment theory: John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth. Developmental Psychology.
• Lee, J.A. (1973). Colors of love: An exploration of the ways of loving. New Press.
• Sternberg, R.J. (1986). A triangular theory of love. Psychological review.