Help: the most overlooked psychological factor of well-being

We live in a world and society where the word well-being is increasingly common and a central objective in our lives. Why is it so difficult to learn to live well, beyond the factors or contexts that make it a little more difficult for us? There is a fundamental psychological factor of well-being that we have forgotten... aid.

We are social, affective, emotional beings, and our relationship with others and also with the community of which we are a part also generates well-being. Psychosocial studies with a cross-cultural perspective demonstrate the following: the countries where solidarity is most practiced and equity or social justice is considered an essential objective (the famous case of Bhutan and its index of gross national happiness or also the case of Nordic countries) reflects a higher well-being. Why have we forgotten that offering well-being to others brings well-being to us?

• Related article: "Personal Development: 5 reasons for self-reflection"

Lack of purpose as a common problem

We live in a materialistic, globalized and consumerist world, which constantly seeks to focus on individualism as a strategy to promote consumption. We forget contact with the other, and with this, we also lose a fundamental factor of well-being such as purpose. I imagine it has ever happened to you: living with doubts about your purpose or feeling confusion or difficulty making decisions because we don't know which way to go.

Focusing on just one, individually, makes us lose meaning and purpose precisely because we are not totally individual beings., but collectives (we have our own identity and needs and at the same time social and in relation to the other).

When we feel that we live disconnected, without purpose, it is in reality because the purpose is not sought or found, but is done. We feel a loss of purpose because we do not act collectively or do not follow our talents and desires (due to difficulties in managing certain emotions, such as fear or unsafety). Selfishness (which makes us avoid the opportunity to help others) also has a root in fear (fear of losing control, possessions, dominance, comfort or status, due to the fear of losses).

The great difficulty is not the loss of purpose but simply because we allow ourselves to be carried away by doubts, fear, insecurity, being conditioned by external factors and above all to live without surrender and confidence.

As a psychologist and coach, for more than 10 years I have accompanied people in their change processes, and in all occasions where we feel there is a lack of purpose or vital confusion, we always discover the same problem of source: we are very absorbed in creating the problem instead of focusing on a solution that involves a delivery and detachment, and this is especially the case when we decide to help others.

All of this changes when we build purpose through the most powerful human action: help, offering well-being to those who need it (within your possibilities and without being harmed by it).

For this reason, working with what you give, with what you offer, with what are the consequences of your actions on the world, is essential.

I am going to make a very special proposal, especially in these delicate times of a pandemic. It is about building purpose, making that helpful behavior a reality, well-being is created thanks to the fact that you have given it, and above all that it helps you to know yourself, discover yourself and grow. It is about you following the proposal of Ikramnet, a solidarity project that works in a 100% altruistic way and above all totally free and simple (you can do it from anywhere in the world and without resources).

You only need a few simple plastic jars. I'm going to leave you a video where we go much deeper into this and I'll explain how it works. Hit play!

The objective of this video is that, whether you are a person who experiences complicated moments in relation to your well-being, or if you are a psychology student and seek to create purpose, let's build that well-being through selfless help. This practice will make you grow and can improve the situation of thousands of families (you can do this from any country and freely).

• You may be interested in: "Thinking that you are not up to the task: causes, and how to fix it"

How does Ikramnet work?

With the idea of ​​Ikramnet (created and disseminated by people freely, without being any type of organization complex or aligned with other objectives) this construction of purpose and help is simple, because It implies interest in the well-being of others, it focuses you on what is really important, it makes you take action, and above all it supposes that well-being can be created and shared by you.

The operation of the Ikramnet idea is very simple: you get a plastic bottle that has an opening (to insert coins) and you print and stick the Ikramnet sticker. This can can be placed in essential establishments in your neighborhood or community (greengrocers, pharmacies, stores with hygiene items, a variety of food, stationery stores, etc.).

When a person buys something in cash, he can put in the pot the coins that he has left and that he can do without (cents, cents or a few pesos). Over time, the boat fills up with everyone's input and a family in need of basic necessities. but you can't afford them, you can buy them with what's in the boat.

With this proposal, all parties win and generate well-being: the family gets what it needs, the establishment manages to comply With their purpose of serving, people give what is left over and it is also an exercise in giving, and you facilitate that cooperation and synergy.

This project began years ago in some neighborhoods in Spain, and now you can find these boats even in establishments in South Africa. This is my proposal for you, whether you are a psychology student or a person who has certain difficulties and wants to find a way out of what happens to you, purpose and horizon... Get some boats and distribute them, because just one boat can help many families.

I am Rubén Camacho, psychologist and human empowerment coach and I hope I have helped you with this video. For this end of the year and new year, above all, trust and enthusiasm. See you next time.