10 tips for learning impulse control

There are few times that we do something that we later regret. Sometimes our cravings take over and we behave impulsively, without thinking about the consequences.

There are all kinds of impulses, both good and bad, but behind them is the difficulty to control how we behave. Saying something mean to your partner, eating too much candy, or buying clothes, and spending your savings are examples of impulsive behaviors.

Although varied, all of them bring consequences that can harm us, it is therefore important to continue a series of tips for learning impulse control. Let's look at a few of them.

• Related article: "Impulse control disorders: symptoms, causes and treatment"

Tips for learning impulse control

Not everyone behaves with the same degree of impulsiveness. Some show problems when it comes to relating to others, while others do not control what they say or do. It is not the same to tell your boss that you cannot stand him at all than to punch him across the nose, although both, of course, are samples of behavior that is not at all appropriate.

There are several ways in which we can reduce the times we behave impulsively, allowing us to take charge of our own behavior and gain a greater degree of self-control.

1. Identify how and when they occur

The vast majority of impulsive behavior has a reason behind it, either associated with a psychological disorder or with more contextual factors.

To the extent possible, identifying what is behind the appearance of impulsive behavior and when it occurs is a key factor in learning how to manage it. For example, if we are fighting the urge to have a sweet between meals, we can ask ourselves several questions such as why do I want to peck? Did my food fill me up enough? What made me want to drink chocolate?

Thus, answering these questions we can understand in greater depth why the impulse is given and, in turn, opt for alternative behaviors that prevent it from being carried out.

2. Check emotions

When we are having an urge, how do we feel? This question is very important, especially looking at the before, during and after carrying out the dreaded and worrisome behavior.

It is possible that our mood is a causal factor in the appearance of the behavior. We must meditate on how we felt before deciding to carry it out.

While we do the push we may feel satisfied, but this satisfaction will last very little, because after carrying out the behavior, repentance will come and the 'why have I done it?'

Keeping this in mind while you are about to do the impulsive behavior may involve avoiding it entirely.

• You may be interested: "What is emotional intelligence?"

3. Find a distraction

The world is full of all kinds of stimuli, which can help us avoid carrying out a behavior that we do not want to do rationally but our body asks us to do it.

For example, we just talked to our partner on his cell phone and he told us that he didn't like it last night how we wash the dishes, something he always tells us but we don't understand why he thinks they are not right clean.

Faced with this situation, we could respond impulsively with a ‘well, from now on the you clean 'or' you're too picky ', something that is clear is not going to help calm the spirits.

Instead of answering him, better wait watching television, reading a book or painting a picture. They are activities that help to isolate oneself from the world, to disconnect for a while.

Later, when you are calmer, you can think more rationally and tell your partner to explain why we are doing things wrong.

4. Thinking about the immediate future

One of the ideas most shared by psychologists, especially from Mindfulness, is the idea of live the here and now, the present moment.

However, a good way to avoid an impulse is to think about how we are going to feel immediately. after having done it, and also what changes both in the environment and in our social environment are we going to cause.

We can try to think coldly the consequences of being too sincere, breaking an object or taking a snack that we should not, to say a few examples.

5. Count to ten

Taking a deep breath and counting to ten, while simple and cheap, is very effective. It allows us to reflect in a certain degree of depth about why we wanted to do what we wanted to do.

The ten seconds are only a suggestion. Depending on our degree of impulsiveness, we may need more time to calm our impulsiveness.

6. Meditation and yoga

Any practice in which a deep reflection of our psychological state is carried out contributes not only to a better control and emotional adjustment, but, as a beneficial side effect, it also allows better control of our impulses.

You can do everything and in all possible ways, although one of the best known and most effectively studied meditations is mindfulness.

Yoga also works, since as a physical activity that it is, it not only offers benefits at the bodily level, but also mentally, allowing us to have a calmer and more rational vision of our momentary desires.

7. Think alternatives

Either because of boredom or because we are immersed in enormous anger, impulses happen. A good way to avoid carrying out the dreaded behavior, like eating that chocolate bar that we have saved for the purpose of week or punching someone who just said something unpleasant to us, is engaging in conduct that replace.

It is obvious that with so many different types of impulses there will in turn be many ways to replace them, but whatever it is has to fulfill the function of preventing the conduct from being carried out unwanted.

For example, to avoid biting chocolate when it is not playing, you can make the healthy decision to drink a glass of water and, if it does not fill enough, drink another until it is full.

As for punching, a less harmful option for other people it is to take a cushion and make that object the victim of the blow.

8. Identify positive impulses

In the same way that there are negative impulses, there are others that help us on a day-to-day basis. Although it is preferable to think about things before doing them, meditating in depth on absolutely everything Nor is it that it can be considered a very adaptive behavior, since it can waste a lot of time. valuable.

Examples of impulsive behaviors that can be positive would be telling a friend that the clothes you wear carries is horrible and thus avoid making a fool of himself, buy all the vegetables in the supermarket lowered ...

Once these positive impulses are identified, they can contribute significantly to change the behavior of the person, especially if these behaviors that imply some benefit are prioritized instead of carrying out those impulses considered harmful.

Little by little, the body and mind will enter a state of satisfaction when we see that we are actually seeing our desires satisfied, and above all, they are the good ones.

9. Learn to tolerate frustration

The impulses arise from desires, from desires to want to express an opinion, want to do something or interact in a way that is socially frowned upon but that can bring us some relief in the short term term.

Therefore, Trying to prevent these impulses from occurring creates frustration, which does not facilitate self-control, since the human being, by nature, tries to satisfy the desires of him as soon as possible.

If you can accept this discomfort and try to live with it, little by little you will train your body and mind to withstand the impulse and there will come a time when it will practically not happen.

10. Learn from our mistakes

The human being is the only animal that is capable of tripping twice on the same stone, and impulses, of any kind, are a clear example of this.

On more than one occasion we have said to ourselves ‘again I have fallen again’, ‘I don’t know how to control myself’ and phrases of the like. To err is human, but not to learn from our mistakes is to lose a very good opportunity to correct them.

A good method to manage these impulses is have a notebook or calendar in which you write down when the impulse you are trying to avoid occurred and the cause associated with it.

Based on this, a more holistic view of the individual's behavior will be obtained, learning what are the factors that contribute to give the impulse and, therefore, be able to avoid the small triggers that, together, contribute to the occurrence of the conduct.

11. Go to therapy

In most cases, the impulses that are carried out are not something that necessarily implies a serious problem, however, certain behaviors such as addictions, assaults or self-harm involve going to a professional.

The psychotherapist will be in charge of offering therapies that allow reducing this clearly harmful impulsivity for the person, diagnosing the possible disorder behind it.

There are many disorders that could be related to the concept of impulse, as for example in the case of many disorders of personality, eating disorders (with purgative and binge-eating behaviors), ADHD, and of course, impulses.

Bibliographic references:

• Black D. W. (2001). "Compulsive buying disorder: definition, assessment, epidemiology and clinical management". CNS Drugs. 15 (1): 17–27.
• Grant J. E., Potenza M. N. (2004). "Impulse control disorders: clinical characteristics and pharmacological management". Annals of Clinical Psychiatry. 16 (1): 27–34.
• Wright A., Rickards H., Cavanna A. AND. (December 2012). "Impulse-control disorders in gilles de la tourette syndrome". The Journal of Neuropsychiatry and Clinical Neurosciences. 24 (1): 16–27.