Personal Development: 5 reasons for self-reflection

The Personal development and the self-reflection, are two of the keys to your emotional well-being.

The importance of self-reflection

Practicing self-reflection is a very important aspect of a person's development. Intuitively, many will agree that experience is one of the best ways to grow.

Learning from mistakes is something that has happened to all of us, but the experience can have different consequences for each person: not everyone will perceive the facts in the same way. Without an active thought process about what we live or without questioning the meaning of those experiences, learning, on many occasions, will not occur. In other words, what takes us from simple experience to learning is the self-reflection.

Self-reflection will allow us to learn more deeply by seeing situations from different lenses and by favoring challenging questions that will lead us to question our own beliefs about the world. If the reflection is correct, it will help us to be more realistic and to continue our path in personal development.

Reflection and emotions: walking towards well-being

We have already talked about the relationship between well-being and emotions in our article "What is emotional intelligence?".

For example, the development of self control refers to a improvement in impulse management, the emotional self-regulation, the planning, the self awareness and the social adaptation, which are absolutely essential for human well-being and which are fully consistent with meaningful learning through and for life. To acquire good self-control, this requires a good level of inner reflection, from what seems obvious, the connection between self-reflection and well-being.

The word wellness, namely, be okay, refers to "being in the place I want to be", and implies achieving balance and harmony in our daily life; in the relationship with ourselves and in the interaction with others. Therefore, well-being is not a constant, but a dynamic component, which is built throughout life and can change at any time.

However, well-being can become a relatively stable characteristic if we achieve a good relationship with ourselves. By achieving this, we will be able to cope with the various experiences that are presented to us throughout our day to day. This is personal development.

Personal development and self-reflection: curiosity and pain

To build the internal support that will allow us to face situations and problems in our life daily, it will be necessary to make difficult decisions, assume a position or point of view and decide the best choice. If we want well-being to be a more or less stable trait, we will have to ask ourselves the following question from time to time: "Is this where I want to be?".

This question will allow us know if we really are in the place we want to be (our job, our partner, our city, etc.). If the answer is yes, we will be in a Flow status and everything will seem to go in harmony. If the answer is no, then we will be in the place of discomfort. The way to get back to well-being is self-reflection: moving towards personal development.

Therefore, the path of personal development is neither more nor less than the path to well-being, towards the place where I want to be, but this does not mean that we are constantly pondering. We already discussed the importance of living in the present in the article "Mindfulness: 8 benefits of mindfulness".

Even so, Mindfulness requires reflection and knowledge of our emotional state, to later accept ourselves as we are. In addition, the present will also tell us if we are comfortable or not, since there are two paths that will lead us to self-reflection: curiosity and pain.

The problems of avoiding reflection

Living constantly away from the present, in the past, in the future or in the excessive self-demands that we set ourselves, no obey to a full self-knowledge, but to an unbalanced and not very objective image of ourselves, which generates a low self-esteemfeelings of inadequacy social withdrawal, little assertiveness, constant stress and anxiety, psychosomatic problems and poor emotional well-being.

Although reflection on personal development may seem easy at first glance, there are many people who turn to professionals in the coaching to be able to unlock. The coach, as a facilitator of personal development, gets the client to reflect through Socratic questions, allowing the client to continue growing as a person. The coach helps connect with desires and emotionsAlthough reflection may seem like an intellectual act, it is an emotional act: detachment plays a decisive role when it comes to growing as individuals.

In fact, avoiding self-reflection is common. When it is curiosity that leads us to reflect and we avoid it, the rigidity. If we consider that there are other ways of doing things, but we are afraid of that possibility, surely we will never leave the comfort zone. On the contrary, if it is pain that leads us to reflect, but we do not attack that detachment, it will surely appear the sadness. In the long run, sadness will turn into melancholy and we will continue to think that the past was always better.

The 5 reasons to reflect

We live in a society that has undergone profound changes in recent decades. Globalization has brought another way of thinking to all of us and capitalism has influenced our lives to the point of being objects rather than subjects. It is not easy to look within when culture leads us to constantly look outside, to compare ourselves, to be more successful, more consumers, etc. In the midst of so much information (or infoxication) we cling to old certainties to feel safe, unable to describe reality as it is.

A) Yes, we deny our emotionsand we coexist in a mindless psychic-emotional state. Our courage only seems to have value in the approval of others. In order not to spare you have to have branded clothes, a pretty girl, a successful profession, a good job, a good car, etc... building a path of suffering, away from a true sense of personal development, emotional well-being and turning our backs on our own wishes.

Fortunately, we have the reflective capacity to detach ourselves from certainties, to connect with ourselves and to self-reflect. In the personal dimension, our arguments and actions are always guided by our emotions, so it is important to understand and accept them. We do not know what will happen in the next present, but whatever happens will be different if it happens in the emotion of expectation, control, superficiality, hypocrisy, or if it happens from the emotion of self-respect, acceptance, gratitude, trust, tenderness.

Summing up: the 5 fundamental points for self-reflection

In summary, these are the five reasons for self-reflection that will guide you on the path of personal development:

• Helps you learn from mistakes
• Helps you have good ideas
• Helps you relate to others
• Makes you happier
• Helps you see your perspective on things