Emotional management: 10 keys to master your emotions

Emotional management or management of emotions refers to being aware of the emotions we feel, accepting them and regulating them if necessary.

Unfortunately, we live in a society that considers emotions irrational and is practically the enemy of reason. But the truth is that the emotions They are part of us and have an important adaptive function. Therefore, we must learn to accept them and get along with them as well as possible.

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Emotional management and emotional intelligence

In recent years, the concept of emotional management has been gaining ground with the rise of emotional intelligence, a construct that has generated a lot of interest among psychologists for its benefits for the psychological health of people and their performance in different areas, such as work, sports or academics.

The correct management of emotions determines to a greater or lesser extent success in different areas of our life, such as interpersonal relationships or work.

What is emotional intelligence

Emotional intelligence is a concept that he popularized Daniel goleman, a renowned American psychologist, who made emotional intelligence known all over the world thanks to his best-seller: Emotional intelligence (1995).

Actually, but, the idea of ​​emotional intelligence already appeared in the literature thanks to other authors, and derives from the Howard Gardner's theory of multiple intelligences. Gardner, after his research, concluded that there are different types of intelligences, including intrapersonal intelligences and interpersonal intelligence. Both are part of emotional intelligence.

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Research has confirmed that emotional intelligence helps

• Improve knowledge of yourself and your emotions
• Make better decisions
• Improve work performance and productivity
• Reduce and protect against stress, anxiety and depression
• Promote interpersonal relationships and empathy
• Improve personal development
• Improve the capacity for influence and leadership
• Promote psychological well-being
• Increase motivation and help achieve goals
• Sleep better

Strategies to control emotions

Emotional intelligence is a process that includes both the emotional awareness of our own and of the emotions of others and the regulation of our own emotions.

But how do we achieve this? Then We propose ten strategies so that you can achieve it.

1. Make a journal of emotions and become aware of them

The emotions diary is an excellent tool to know your own emotions and know the effect they have on your behavior. There are different ways to do it but here we propose one. You just have to follow these steps.

• Take a notebook and write down the day
• Take 20 minutes before bed to take stock of your day
• Write down those emotions that have arisen
• Write down how you have felt and how this emotion has affected your behavior

The emotional self-awareness it is the beginning of the correct management of emotions. Without knowing what we feel and how they affect us, we will not be able to regulate our emotions.

2. Accept yourself as you are

It may be that in this personal discovery aspects of your life are revealed that you do not like or that you find it difficult to see as positive. But you must accept yourself as you are. Emotions are normal and we all feel them. We can all make mistakes because it is part of life.

3. Focus on positive thoughts and control negative ones

Negative emotions cause great discomfort, so we tend to avoid them. But the solution is not to look the other way and show that they do not exist. If you have already done a job of detecting the emotions you feel, analyze them and let them pass. Focus on the positive and negative emotions, give them the value they are due, but do not indulge in them. Now is the time to repeat how much you love yourself and how much you are going to work to achieve the love of your life: yourself.

4. Have a positive attitude

And is that to achieve this you must do your part. In emotional management there is a component that, on many occasions, we overlook: it is the will. To control emotions we must do our part and we must have a positive attitude because it is not always easy to control emotions.

5. Retire in time

But evidently positive attitude is only part of emotional management. Emotions often occur because an external stimulus triggers them. If you intend to specialize in the art of emotional intelligence, you will find that sometimes the best alternative is not to remain in the conflict zone and to make the decision to withdraw to weather. For example, if someone is provoking you. In these cases, turning around and leaving is an emotionally smart decision.

6. Learn to accept criticism

Perhaps what is making you feel bad is not knowing how to accept criticism and being too aware of what others think of you. That is a bad option, because emotional well-being is born within oneself, of your own interpretation of the world. Learning to accept criticism is necessary to be an emotionally balanced person.

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7. Release tension with sport

If you want to be calmer you can release tension thanks to physical exercise. In fact, practicing sports is one of the healthiest alternatives not only on a physical level, but also on a psychological level. Physical exercise helps you, for example, to reduce stress or increase your self-esteem.

• If you want to know more about the benefits of practicing physical activity, you can read our post: "The 10 psychological benefits of practicing physical exercise"

8. Attend an emotional management workshop

One of the best ways to become an emotionally intelligent person is through training.. There are a large number of courses and workshops that will help you manage your emotions. They are usually experiential workshops with many participatory dynamics, so emotional learning will even be entertaining.

9. Practice active listening

If you want to better understand the emotions of others, you can practice active listening. Many times we hear and do not listen, because we are more aware of what we are going to say than of what the other person tells us both with their verbal and non-verbal language. The active listening it is listening in its entirety, since verbal language is approximately 30% of what we communicate. The rest is nonverbal language.

10. Practice Mindfulness

One of the most useful strategies to better manage emotions is the Mindfulness or mindfulness. Mindfulness is actually a philosophy, but nowadays different techniques are used to put it into practice. Mindfulness is simple, as it only requires adopting a way of evaluating events, characterized, for example, by self-pity, mindfulness in the present moment, or mindset non-judgmental. However, even if it is simple, its practice requires will and effort, so it is not easy and you have to work on it.