Interview with María Maqueda, from Abriendozirculos, about couples therapy

More and more married couples and domestic partners decide to go to couple therapy. This type of therapy seeks to solve all the conflicts or obstacles that couples encounter when facing their daily lives.

María Maqueda tells us which are the most frequent reasons for consultation in couples therapy

One of the psychologists with a more proven track record in this type of therapy is María Maqueda, clinic psychologist Opening circles. With her we have shared a space where we have been able to consult her about some of the frequently asked questions that both from the professionals of the mental health, as from the general population we can ask ourselves about the best strategies to offer psychological treatment in these cases.

What kinds of problems do those who attend couples therapy complain about the most?

The universe of couples is as wide as people request therapy. The fundamental pillars on which the sessions are focused are related to communication so that it joins the last name of effective. On the other hand, the stick of trust related to jealousy that without becoming pathological generates disagreements between the members of the couple, or on this same pillar the

emotional dependence and attachment in adults.

It is necessary to emphasize and also evaluate the existing disparity in the basis of love, as a basic emotion in the couple, thus collecting a significant range of feelings and behaviors related to the experience of sexuality and support mutual. And the fourth main point is an obvious consequence of the previous three, respect. Respect marks the lines of what will be the coexistence of the members of the couple as well as the development of the different stages through which one passes, in a natural and healthy way, when one decides to make her life with another person.

Bertrand Regader: What is the main role of psychologists in the face of these problems that affect love relationships?

Maria Maqueda: The role of the therapist in couples therapy consists of actively listening to the perception of the personal problems of both members of the couple and establish, through dialogue and integrative agreements, turning points that help them modify those thoughts and behaviors that have kept them away or stagnant and that in principle are the basis of attending therapy partner.

Many times, conflicts arise favored by bad communication dynamics. In what ways can this wear down a relationship, based on your professional experience?

When the couple focuses on talking without listening or hearing without dialogue, communication is not possible. For effective communication to take place, it is necessary to put in order different elements that constitute the circuit of understanding. If feedback is not produced, it is practically unfeasible for the couple to grow and to create a rapprochement between them.

In what situations is it understood that there is no base from which to work and it does not make sense to start couples therapy sessions?

The fundamental objective of couples therapy is the rapprochement between both members. It is true that, although in a much lower percentage, this is not possible in some cases due to the wear and tear with which they come to therapy. It is here when couples therapy focuses more on achieving a less painful separation process where people maintain their dignity and their identity as unique beings

Is it difficult to adopt a neutral perspective from the point of view of psychotherapy professionals? How is it achieved?

When the professional is immersed in a therapeutic process, whatever its nature, the demand to be covered is not the one that seems convenient or adequate if not the one that the patient considers will help stabilize his mood and cognitive patterns and consequently leads to a behavior proactive. Being able to stay is that point of support between both parties is affordable if the objectives to be achieved with the initial assessment session are clear from the initial assessment session psychological treatment.

Approximately how long can it take for the effects and improvements brought about by the therapy sessions to appear?

If we transfer recovery times to physical healing and recovery, it is easier to understand that the process is relative and characteristic of each person in question. When psychological therapy is started, the positive effects and changing details are usually detected earlier by the therapist than by the patients themselves. This occurs because in most cases they come to therapy with a great deterioration and choosing this option as the last cartridge to save their relationship.

However, the first sessions are crucial and it is not advisable to delay the time between sessions since If you have already decided to do therapy, now is the time to start intervening and evaluate short-term results term.

Is it necessary to raise awareness about considering the possibility of attending couples therapy before breaking up with the relationship?

It is not so much a question of generic awareness, it is more of a personal conviction. Assimilating and accommodating that we need a third person to fix our relationship problems is not an easy thing.

However, if couples therapy is considered as a moment of encounter for understanding without losing individuality as a person and as a frame in the that both feel winners, couples therapy will be, without a doubt, the best option and the alternative solution to achieve agreements flattering.