How to control emotions, with 11 effective strategies

The emotional control (or emotional regulation) It is essential when we interact with other people, and it is a skill that is part of the emotional intelligence.

Therefore, the control of emotions is included within emotional management, and to regulate them it is necessary to understand them, understand them and make them aware. It is impossible to control emotions if we do not master the skill of emotional self-knowledge.

Emotional intelligence: a paradigm of current psychology

Emotions are part of us, and despite being necessary and adaptive, they can cause us suffering. Suffering is caused many times by the negative assessment we make of these, because trying to fight against them is not a wise decision. It is much healthier to understand them, know them, know that they are there, but accept them as part of our existence and our experience, knowing that many times they are not as we would like them to were.

Emotional intelligence has become one of the most important paradigms in modern psychology, because after all,

we are emotional beings. Although we think that we make our decisions based on reason, studies indicate that much of our decisions are emotional.

How to improve emotional control

Most of the success and rise of emotional intelligence (EI) is determined by its benefits. Well, EI is used in different areas: sports, education and companies, because it positively affects performance, decision-making and the achievement of results. But in the clinical and psychotherapeutic field it is also essential, as it helps us to relate to others and to improve our psychological well-being and our quality of life.

If you want to know how to improve emotional control, below you can find 11 strategies really useful to increase the knowledge of this very important skill.

1. Understand your emotions

Take some time to reflect on how you feel and why you react in a certain way in some situations. You may be worried about how you have behaved at work this week, yelling at a colleague, and now you regret it. Perhaps the problem was not that serious, but it simply got out of hand because you did not stop for a moment to think about the real problem. Likewise, the underlying problem is that you feel stressed at work because you don't manage your time well.

One strategy to understand your emotions is to keep an emotional journal. To use it, you only need to sit in front of him, 10 or 20 minutes before going to bed. You can review the day and write down how you felt, why you felt that way, and what you could have done to improve it. Perhaps the next time you find yourself in this situation you will have already learned not to behave in this way.

2. Practice active listening

It may also happen that you have simply gotten angry for not having listened properly, in other words, you have simply listened. Many people have a habit of paying little attention to others, and while they are talking, they are already thinking about what they want to say.

Active listening It is important to interact with other people, because allows you to pay attention not only to what other interlocutors say with their words, but also with what they express with their body language. In fact, scientific studies affirm that verbal language represents only 30% of what we communicate. The rest is nonverbal language.

3. Do physical exercise

Physical exercise is a good way to relieve stress and release tensions that can cause frustrating and tense situations. Something that is not at all positive for emotional control. In addition, physical exercise helps us release neurochemicals related to positive mood, such as endorphins or serotonin. Therefore, their practice also has a positive effect on our self-esteem.

4. Don't take criticism wrong

Learn to accept criticism because it can make you lose your role and unleash your anger. Being too aware of what others say about you is a symptom that you do not have enough self-confidence and have not found the inner peace necessary to control emotions. So take the edge off when you receive criticism, at least if you want to be an emotionally balanced person.

5. Work on self-acceptance

One of the big problems of not accepting yourself as you are, is that you adopt a defensive mentality, nothing beneficial for emotional control. We can all make mistakes because it is part of life, so you must love yourself as you are. This way you will feel less frustrated and have more patience when dealing with the conflicts that can appear in your daily interpersonal relationships.

6. Adopt an optimistic attitude

In addition to working on your self-acceptance, you must have a positive attitude towards life, which will make you more resistant and less prone to interpersonal conflicts. Both for self-acceptance and to have a positive and optimistic attitude towards life, it is necessary to have will, that is, do your part to make this happen.

7. Think of the good and not the bad

The discomfort that some emotions make us feel is what causes us to want to avoid them. However, to solve the problems you have to face them, because there is no use looking the other way. If you have worked on emotional self-awareness and self-acceptance, you must let these negative emotions pass. Now it's your turn to focus on the positives, and your tension level will be greatly reduced..

8. Retire at the right time

It is okay to have a positive attitude towards conflict and think about the good things, although sometimes, the stimulus may still be present no matter how hard we try to avoid it, because this does not always depend on U.S.. For example, if they provoke us so that we end up fighting. In these cases, it is best to turn around and leave.

9. Do not react suddenly

You may have detected that the conflict is on the surface and within you there is a force that prompts you to take a step forward regardless of the consequences of that moment (even if you can later repent). Have a little patience, take a deep breath and don't react suddenly. If necessary, leave the room, take a breath, and come back as if with a clear and renewed mind.

10. Practice Mindfulness

Mindfulness is an ancient practice which is very popular today due to its benefits: improves concentration, reduces stress, improves self-awareness, etc. This method helps you to be in the present moment, with a non-judgmental mindset and a compassionate attitude towards yourself and others. Without a doubt, a very important tool to control emotions.

Go to Emotional Intelligence courses

If you are interested in taking an Emotional Intelligence workshop, the Mensalus Institute offers the possibility of taking trainings that will help you develop the skills and abilities to become an emotionally intelligent person. This center for psychotherapy and training in Psychology gives these workshops both in person and remotely, so you can do them from anywhere in the world, in the comfort of your own home (or the place you want).

Specifically, the "Online Emotional Intelligence Training Course" allows you to know and put into practice key strategies for managing thoughts and emotions. This option makes it easier to live an experience similar to face-to-face training but with the advantages offered by distance training. You will have a tutor who will carry out a follow-up of the practical tasks that you must prepare and the different webinars that you will be able to take part in. This training action will begin next February 5, 2018It costs € 380 and lasts 10 weeks (the material will be available on the virtual campus up to 8 weeks after the end of the course). For more information, you can contact Instituto Mensalus through this link.