How to give bad news? 12 emotional keys

The bad news they almost always cause discomfort, both in the person who receives it and in the person who gives it. Making a person know from us some facts that are going to make them feel bad can generate a feeling of discomfort so strong that it leads to misunderstandings or generate additional problems.

What's more, If we believe we are not prepared to give this news, we may postpone this task indefinitely. so as not to face the unwanted consequences of not knowing what to say, and this is something that will possibly affect negatively both to the person to be informed and to other parties involved (for example, if we work in a hospital).

Therefore, to know how to deal with these situations, it is convenient to have clear basic behavior guidelines. Then you can read some tips to help you know how to deliver bad news.

Tips for knowing how to deliver bad news

1. Stop to think if we are the right person to give it

This point is basic, since It is not advisable to assume that we should be the ones to report the bad news

. Think in what capacity the informant could be you, if you professional role include these types of actions (in case you are practicing a profession when contacting that person) and if there are no better alternatives.

2. Thinking about our own emotional state

To spread bad news, it is good to take into account as many variables as possible. So, It is good to stop and reflect, even briefly, about the feelings that this news generates in us. In this way we will gain a certain control over the situation, since we will know better the attitudes and thoughts around that news by one of the two agents who will be involved in the dialogue: U.S.

If we judge that we are too emotionally involved with the information that we are going to give, we can consider going back to point 1 and think of other people to communicate the bad news.

3. Anticipate the other person's reaction

Technically, this advice is not to properly deliver bad news, but It should be part of your brief pre-planning to expect certain behaviors and prepare possible solutions.

4. Choose the moment well

When you deliver the bad news It is important that the other person can give us their full attention and that they do not carry an intense emotional charge derived from activities you have been doing recently. So, if possible, choose wisely when the other person is neither overly stressed nor particularly excited by any circumstance, since this could make the news have a greater emotional impact and that that moment will be remembered as an experience still most unpleasant.

If it is not possible to choose a time in the short term future to inform the other person, make it clear up front that you have something important to say: don't start talking about something else.

5. Find a calm and emotionally neutral context

In the line of the previous point, the context in which you are delivering the bad news should be free of distractions and calm. In this way, communication will be more fluid and there will be no environmental stressors. Choose a place that you have at hand, since you must direct the person to it without giving the news yet, simply to follow you and anticipate the importance of what is going to happen.

6. Maintain a certain proximity to the person

Even if you don't keep one friendship with the interlocutor or interlocutor, it is good to be close when communicating the news. In this way, the person will feel more comforted and you will be in a better position to provide help if they need it. Also make sure that there is no piece of furniture separating you and that your eyes are more or less at the same height, so that asymmetries of power between you are not noticed.

It may interest you: "Guide to know how to give emotional first aid"

7. Sit down, both

This advice it is more important the worse the news you want to give. Sitting relaxes much of the body, which in turn makes it easier to lend. attention and, on the other hand, can help to eliminate some of the tension before and during the delivery of the News. In addition, if we adopt a relatively relaxed posture (without crossing arms or legs and without stooping too much) it is very possible that the other person tends to imitate us even without realizing it, so that she will also feel something more relaxed.

On the other hand, when the other person is sitting nor you will fall to the ground if you pass out or notice that you lose strength momentarily due to your mood.

8. Touch, not touch ???

Unless we are someone very close to the other person, it is preferable not to touch her with your hand or arm just before giving her the news, as this could cause you to become stressed very quickly and not be able to concentrate well on what we are saying. We can do it, if we think it is convenient, after having communicated it, to comfort her.

9. Start by counting the most important, but without abruptness

It is essential that you start by talking about the information you must give, Bluntly, since that will thin the environment and it will be incoherent with everything you have done before (actions that are focused on expressing the importance of that moment). However, it is preferable that a few seconds elapse between when you start speaking and the moment when the worst part of the news is named, to gradually introduce the topic. That is why it is not good to summarize the news in a single newspaper headline.

Once you have said the important thing, you can tell the details later if you think it is appropriate and the other person is in a position to continue listening.

10. Use neutral language and give information objectively

What we are going to say is very important, so the best thing is not to "prefabricate" a point of view or a state of opinion that we are going to impose on the other person. Giving bad news is something that makes sense because the other person needs to know relevant information and assimilate it in their own way.

In addition, giving the data together with our opinion or point of view can be a way to hide things or give biased information, even when we do not realize it, usually offering too much news optimistic.

11. Reframe what happened, if possible

Once the important thing has been said, we can offer a point of view that completes the above information, opening a more hopeful range of possibilities. However, it is very important to do this only if you are being realistic in raising these expectations and really believe what you are saying.

Sincerity and transparency are essential.

12. Do not get emotionally involved if it is not to comfort the other person

In the moments when we break the news, we must ensure the welfare of our interlocutor. That is why it is convenient to distance ourselves enough so that we do not have to express our own feelings and it is the other person who can manage theirs.

This can be done, for example, not reacting negatively if the other person blames us for what happened or if they get angry with us for no reason.