FoMO: being hooked on networks for fear of missing something

The fear of missing something, known by the acronym FoMO (from English: Fear of Missing Out), can be defined as a general apprehension of being absent from rewarding experiences in which others are participating.

This syndrome is characterized by the desire to be continuously connected to what others are doing, which often involves spending a great deal of time on social media.

Participating in social networks becomes an effective option for those people who want to be continuously connected with what is happening.

• Related article: "Technoaddiction: what is it and what are its causes and symptoms"

Social networks, an attempt to meet our needs

The theory of self-determination gives us a perspective of human psychological needs and constitutes an interesting point of view to understand the FoMO.

According to this theory, effective self-regulation and psychological health are based on the satisfaction of three basic psychological needs: competence, autonomy and relationship. Competition is the ability to act effectively in the world, autonomy consists in having own authorship or personal initiative and the relationship is defined as the need for closeness or connection with the rest.

According to this point of view, the phenomenon of FoMO can be understood as a system of self-regulation of a chronic deficit in the satisfaction of psychological needs.

Following this line, low levels of satisfaction of our basic needs would be related to FoMO and participation in social networks in two ways.

On the one hand, there would a direct connection between individuals with low levels of satisfaction and participation in social networksThese being a resource to keep in touch with others, a tool to develop social competence and an opportunity to deepen social ties.

For the other, the connection between participation in social networks and the satisfaction of basic needs would also be indirect, that is, through FoMO. Given that deficits in needs could lead some people to a general susceptibility to fear of missing something, it is It is possible that these unresolved psychological needs are connected to the use of social networks only to the extent that they are connected to the FoMO. In other words, the fear of missing something could serve as a mediator that connects deficiencies in psychological needs with the use of social networks.

We can track about 150 people

According to the anthropologist Robin Dumbar, the number of people that can be related in a given system comes conditioned by the size of our cerebral neocortex so in the case of our species we would be talking from about 150 individuals.

Our current brain is not very different from the brain of our prehistoric ancestors, these ancestors lived in clans of approximately 150 individuals so our brain would have evolved to keep us in contact with this amount of people.

As data, according to an estimate from 2011, a Facebook user has an average of about 150 "friends" and a friend of any user has, on average, 635 followers.

Considering that the size of our cerebral neocortex is what it is, we can ask ourselves if these relationships are as real as we sometimes think.

Not all forms of social interaction are the same

We are social animals, that is something confirmed. We have a series of affective and belonging needs that must be satisfied, we nourish ourselves with the relationship with the other in the same way that we nourish ourselves with the food we eat. However, just as not all foods offer the same quality in their nutrients, not all forms of relationship are the same. You can be obese and undernourished at the same time because the amount of kcal is not synonymous with the quality of your diet.

Continuing with this comparison, we could see certain uses of social networks such as fast food in human relationships.

Anglo-Saxons have a term known as "quality time" that refers not so much to the amount of time that people spend with their loved ones but to the quality of this time. This quality time would be the gourmet meal of social relationships.

Spending too much time on the networks can harm our well-being

Some research suggests that digital media can have a lowering effect on self-reflection and ultimately decrease well-being.

This phenomenon of always being in communication that communication technologies offer us could distract us from important social experiences in the here and now. In Plato's words, it would be like preferring the shadows of the cave to the reality outside.

This syndrome can be a source of discouragement or depressive feelings in part because it reduces the feeling one has of making the best decisions in life.

• You may be interested in: "Instagram gives me anxiety: 5 tips to manage discomfort"

Better regret it before

Bronnie Were wrote a book entitled "The Five Regrets of the Dying" in which she describes the main learnings she learned from the people she treated as a palliative care professional.

Apparently most people, at the end of their life, regret not having done what they really wanted to do Instead of what others expected of them, it is also common to regret not having had the courage to express their own feelings or not having spent time with old friends.

Ultimately, it seems that we regret more of what we have not done than of what we have done. It is therefore advisable to ask often if we are spending our time in the way that makes us really happy - always within our means.

Avoidance of discomfort can lead to compulsion for networks

Research on the motivations for the use of social networks indicates that avoiding unpleasant feelings such as loneliness or boredom compels the use of Facebook.

Similarly, the lack of satisfaction with our relationships would lead us to the use of networks. We can conclude that social networks constitute an escape route for emotional and social frustration. Compulsively escaping discomfort is a tendency that is at the base of most addictive behaviors (not to say that it is in most emotional disorders).

A vicious cycle is generated: discomfort leads to compulsive behavior, that temporarily frees us from discomfort but that makes this compulsion become addictive through a learning mechanism - often unconscious - known as reinforcement negative. Repeating this over and over again creates a lower tolerance for discomfort and a greater need for the compulsive habit.

Beyond the psychological dangers - and although it may be obvious - it is worth remembering that an imperious desire to be constantly connected is potentially dangerous when this leads people to check networks even when driving.

Choosing is giving up

The human being has an intellect that allows him to make decisions with a wider range of options than any other known species. This is a great evolutionary advantage but it is also a source of headaches because the moment I choose between A and B, if I choose A I am giving up B. This means that if we only have time and money to study a career we will have to give up the other possible options.

In the same way, If we are not connected to the networks because we are doing anything else, we may be missing something And, incidentally, if we spend a lot of time on the networks we may be losing our lives because (let's not forget), we are not going to live forever.

Bibliographic references:

• Schaarschmidt, T. (2018, December). FOMO or the fear of missing something. Mind and Brain, 93, 78-81.
• Andrew K. Przybylski, Kou Murayama, Cody R. DeHaan, Valerie Gladwell, Motivational, emotional, and behavioral correlates of fear of missing out, Computers in Human Behavior, Volume 29, Issue 4, 2013, Pages 1841-1848.