Who I am?

When we compare ourselves with other animals, we tend to account for our unique ability to recognize the existence of ourselves and others as beings with different motivations, goals and points of view and changing. We are, in a way, sentient beings. This may be a source of some unjustifiable pride, of course, but it is also only one side of the coin.

And it is that although being endowed with consciousness can be advantageous when going hand in hand with our ability to think abstract things, it is also a source of potential problems that other species do not have to front facing. And one of those potential problems can arise when, inevitably, a classic question pops into our stream of thought: Who I am?

Pandora's Box: Who am I?

"Who I am?" it is one of those existential questions that, if we do not know how to answer, they can become an obstacle when it comes to being happy. Knowing who you are and where you want to go is one of the bases to find wellness not just in big projects, but in all the details of everyday life.

But not being able to answer this question in a moment does not mean that all is lost. Currently there is nothing to make us suppose that the ability to properly pose and successfully answer the question "who I am?" be itself an innate capacity, something immovable and independent of our choices and the environment in which we choose to live. Sometimes, it is necessary to ask ourselves this question in order to continue growingIt is an indicator of whether we are on the right track.

In addition, we must bear in mind that, from the first minute, our knowledge about ourselves is limited. Although it may seem misleading, many aspects of our own personality are better known by those around us than by us. Why? Because our vision of much of what we do is skewed.

Since our life is more important to us than to most, we have an interest in distorting reality, the interpretation of what happens to us, so that it fits into that narrative that we have created to give an answer to the question of "who I am"; the story that supposedly explains what our existence is. as individuals. So we must be humble in drawing conclusions about who we are, and admit that there is always room for rectification.

Beyond the words

When we say that not knowing how to find answers to identity questions can become a problem, we are not saying that The key is knowing how to answer these types of questions or not with a specific, concrete phrase, as if a vital slogan were treated. The important thing is to check, from our own subjectivity, to what extent we can come to recognize a series of ideas and images that we identify with ourselves. The answer to the question "who I am?" it is always beyond words.

So it is worth detecting to what extent certain feelings of discomfort can be focused on these doubts about the meaning of one's existence and one's own identity.

If we cannot answer this question, it may mean that we are going through an identity crisis, a period of our life in the that we can experience deep doubts about ourselves, doubts about the meaning of existence accompanied by feelings of emptiness, loneliness.

Now, when we manage to answer this question again, we re-engage with the rhythm of the events that happen in our lives, managing to be, this time, much more aware of our surroundings and more realistic in our thoughts. We re-empower ourselves in the face of life.

It is necessary to remain by the side of oneself despite the difficulties

Identity is forged throughout life, but there is a critical stage or period in which it has special relevance: adolescence. It was already highlighted by the psychologist Erik Erikson in his Psychosocial Development Theory. Erikson stated that the greatest obstacle that adolescent development must face is the establishment of an identity. For the author, the construction of identity cannot be understood without interaction with others.

Teens often go looking for that "who I am?", because adolescence is a stage of discovery. Adolescents go through a period of self-knowledge, and they begin to make groups of friends, to interact with the opposite sex or to think about their future options. But in addition to this self-knowledge, that is, what am I, where do I come from, what do I want to be? The "who am I?" It also affects and is affected by self-esteem: Do I love myself a lot or a little or nothing? Am I what I want to be? self-efficacy: Am I able to go where I want to go? Am I able to be what I want to be?

Therefore, knowing who you are makes you stronger And, despite the adversities that may arise in your life, it helps you overcome difficulties.

Characteristics of identity construction

Identity has a great emotional component, and knowing "who I am" also has it. In summary, some of the characteristics that you should consider regarding the construction of identity are the following:

• Identity develops in interaction with others.

• Identity is a socially constructed definition of being.

• Identity is a subjective phenomenon, with a strong emotional component.

• The formation of identity implies a process of recognition and appreciation of oneself and of the possibilities to face the challenges.

The existential crisis: an identity crisis

Knowing "who I am" may not always be easy. And for some individuals it becomes a complicated question, because they are afraid to face reality. When you don't know who you are, or where you are, or the path you want to follow in life, anxiety, discomfort and afraid they can take control over you. This is what is known as an existential crisis, and can be mentally very draining, in addition to causing psychological disorders if the situation is not resolved correctly.

The existential crisis is an identity crisis, and the solution is to reconnect with yourself. Do you want to know how? In this article we explain it to you: "Existential crisis: when we do not find meaning in our life”

Self-reflection to reconnect with yourself

Unfortunately, this fear of facing reality can complicate the situation. And this fear of seeing things as they are can keep you away from yourself. The path to solving identity problems is often solved with realistic self-reflection. Practicing self-reflection is a very important aspect in the development of a person, and although it is simple, it is not easy.

As already mentioned, ask yourself “Who am I? it is an existential question. And as such, requires active coping with problems. Solutions hardly come alone, but we have to look for those situations that help us improve every day. Only through correct self-reflection, that is, through realistic knowledge of oneself and of interaction with what surrounds us, in addition to habits that allow us to continue growing, this will be possible.

If you want to know how to carry out a realistic self-reflection, in this post we explain it to you "Personal Development: 5 reasons for self-reflection”.

A final thought

Answer the question "Who am I?" implies, among other things, face the tension between what we think we are and what we want to be.

It is practically impossible to value yourself without comparing yourself to a version of the me ideal, with everything we would like to be. Working both on self-esteem and on our potential and capabilities will make us face that question without fear.