Smiling depression: not everything is what it seems

If you were asked to describe a happy person, how would you do it? Surely, it happens to you like me, and you would answer that someone who is constantly smiling, who has a very active social life (and shares on different social networks), who always has optimistic phrases for everyone, who probably has a partner and many hobbies. In conclusion, a person who enjoys her life.

But what if these behaviors are just a “front”? Can we ensure that they are really happy for the things they post on their social networks or for what we perceive? As the title of the article says, "Not everything is what it seems."

The same happens with depression. When we think of a depressed person, we imagine someone with the following characteristics: sadness deep, frequent crying, no energy or motivation to do activities, sleeping a lot and thinking suicidal. And many times this is the case, but in this article I want to focus on another side of this pathology, less known and very dangerous: smiling depression.

• Related article: "The 6 types of mood disorders"

What is smiling depression?

We can define it as a term used to designate people who are outwardly happy, and often share it on their social networks, but inside they live with a persistent emptiness, sadness, hopelessness. Inside, they have depression.

They may strive to maintain a happy lifestyle because they believe that they will feel better that way, or they may do so so as not to worry other people. I have also come across people who do it out of habit, automatically. They are functional people, who at first glance, their depression has not deteriorated any area of ​​their life.

This term is not recognized in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-V), and it is surely diagnosed as a Major Depressive Disorder with characteristics atypical, well depression is experienced in a hidden way, without externalizing the symptoms of low mood.

Do you have specific symptoms?

Depression presents itself differently in each person. In the case of smiling depression, they may present sadness, feelings of emptiness, hopelessness, decreased pleasure or interest in all or most of the activities most of the day, almost every day.

There may be agitation or slowing down, fatigue or loss of energy, feeling worthless or excessive or inappropriate guilt. There may even be a decrease in the ability to think, concentrate, and make decisions.

The difference in smiling depression is that these symptoms would be absent or almost absent in public. This would prevent people around him from suspecting that he is suffering from depression. However, some symptoms that may be present and give us "clues" are recognized that we may be suffering from depression:

• Increased appetite and weight gain
• Hypersomnia (sleeping many hours) and continuing to feel sleepy during the day.
• Feeling of heaviness in the arms and legs (intermittent sensation during the day)
• Special susceptibility to rejection and criticism, which would directly affect interpersonal relationships.
• Feel a temporary improvement in mood due to good news, but then feel the discomfort again.
• Difficulty identifying and maintaining your emotions. When asked, they usually reply that they are fine.
• Presents the thought that showing signs of deep sadness is a sign of weakness.

Difficulty in diagnosis and risks

The fact that the symptoms are disguised and that the person shows false happiness makes it difficult to identify that she is depressed. We meet people who, apparently, have no reason to be sad, they can have an idyllic life. This can happen in adolescents, youth, and adults.

What aggravates this pathology is that affected people take much longer to seek support by not recognizing the disease, and having difficulty identifying their emotions, having an emotional block, makes work on a psychological level more complicated.

It's important pointing that living pretending nothing is wrong, repressing discomfort, requires a high emotional, physical and energetic cost, which worsens over time, until it becomes “unbearable”. And this is when suicidal thoughts appear, which in smiling depression are associated with a greater risk, since by keeping the energy level high they are more likely to carry it out.

We have all heard a case of a person committing suicide and family and friends had not seen "signs" of depression, quite the opposite. A well-known example is the case of the actor and comedian Robin Williams, his death and diagnosis of depression surprised many people.

• You may be interested in: "Mental health: definition and characteristics according to psychology"

Important considerations

People who find it difficult to talk about their problems and have an emotional blockage that prevents them from expressing their feelings are at a higher risk of suffering from smiling depression. They are usually perfectionist people, with a great sense of demand and responsibility, which leads them to have the need to control everything that is around him, taking care of + "fixing" everything, without asking for help, or recognizing his limits.

Treatment

Like all depression, have treatments including medications and psychotherapy, to promote emotional, thinking and lifestyle changes.

Psychological therapy will be focused on accepting the situation, learning to recognize and express your emotions, use tools and techniques to properly cope with your state of mind and resolve the conflicts that arise in your life daily. The cognitive behavioral therapy and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy have been scientifically proven to be effective.

It is very important that you trust the professional you choose, that you establish a safe therapeutic bond, that you feel that they respect you, understand you and that they can accompany you in the process that you are about to initiate. This is essential for the therapy to be successful.

When to ask for psychological help?

If, as much as you feel that you have everything you have wanted or desired, and that you should be happy, but you feel an emptiness that you cannot explain, and it is difficult for you to express your emotions, in addition, you force yourself to continue with your life, repressing your feelings and acting as if you were happy... you may be suffering from depression.

If when you are with more people you are fine, but in solitude you feel down, you feel emptiness or sadness, you cannot stop eating even if you are not hungry... You may also be suffering from depression.

Taking a medication is not enough. I recommend that you make an appointment with a professional specialized in mental health, who will interview you and help you identify if you have depression and how you can treat it. Don't downplay these feelingsYou don't have to "settle" for survival, you deserve to live your life to the fullest. Depression can be treated, you just need to take the step to open up and seek help virtually or in person.