How to create discipline in a teenager

Adolescence is in many cases a time of life that is complicated to manage, both for the adolescent himself and for her parents.

It is clear that each case is unique, but in general, the changes in the main references of these young people (who go from being the parents to being the people of the age of the minor) and the tendency to impulsivity and experimentation complicate the fact of generating discipline at home, but in any case it is not something impossible.

In this article you will find Relatively Simple Tips for How to Encourage Discipline in Adolescent Behavior, facilitating that it takes into account rules of conduct.

• Related article: "The 3 stages of adolescence"

How to raise and educate to generate discipline in a teenager?

Although the cases of greater conflict and coexistence problems require the support of a psychologist, many times this is not necessary. These tips will help you create the optimal conditions for your adolescent son or daughter to develop a greater tendency to discipline.

1. Avoid labels and focus on correcting behaviors

Norms have their raison d'être in encouraging certain patterns of behavior and discouraging others. In this sense, It is very important that when the adolescent does not comply with the rules, you direct your criticism towards his behavior, and not towards his identity or the essence of him as a person. This happens by not using adjectives and labels such as "you have to stop being impulsive" or "you are a person too quarrelsome ”, and make her focus on the specific behaviors that she tends to reproduce and that are a trouble. Otherwise, you will be favoring his self-concept to be linked to those adjectives, and to think of himself / herself in those terms, leading him to throw in the towel before trying to change.

• You may be interested in: "What is a prejudice? Theories that explain it, and examples "

2. Set realistic and age-appropriate rules

The goals to be achieved by complying with the rules must be realistic, maintaining a balance between what they do spontaneously without trying to modulate their behavior, on the one hand, and an ideal and unattainable version of him or her, on the other. If the objectives you set are too difficult taking into account their abilities and level of development psychological, you will become frustrated and stop trying to comply with those rules, surely letting go of many of them in block.

3. Explain why these rules

In order for him to internalize the rules to follow and create discipline at home, it is necessary that he understand the reason for these, since otherwise it will consider them only an imposition and will disobey them whenever it is possible to do so if it compensates. Therefore, consider the needs and that are covered with that system of rules to comply with, trying to avoid arguments that are too abstract or based only on the description of values: also teach him the practical advantages of not breaking these rules and of living in an environment in which others also follow certain patterns of behavior so as not to harm others.

4. Reinforcements and punishments must be short-term

There should not be a long time between rewards (physical or symbolic) and punishments for positive or negative behavior. In this way, the memory of the experience that has led to these consequences is fixed in the memory in a more consistent way, together with what was experienced during the reward or punishment. In any case, forms of punishment that involve physical pain must be totally avoided.

5. Set an example

To show how important it is to respect the rules, you have to act accordingly. You do not have to be perfect in everything, but you do have to try not to break those rules that have been explicitly formulated and that shape the model of coexistence that is sought at home.

Are you looking for professional psychological support?

If you are looking for psychotherapy services for you or your son or daughter, get in touch with our professionals. Since Cribecca Psychology we offer psychological intervention services for children, adolescents and adults, and our sessions They can be in person at our psychotherapy center in Seville, or online through video calls.

Bibliographic references:

• Céspedes, A. (2007). Kids with tantrums, defiant teens. How to manage conduct disorders in children. Editions B. Group Z.
• Adams, G.R.; Gullotta, T. & Montemeyer, R. (1996): Issues in Adolescent Development.
• Kim J.; McHale S.M.; Osgood D.W.; Grouter A.C. (2006). Longitudinal course and family correlates of sibling relationships from childhood through adolescence. Child Development. 77 (6): 1746–1761.
• Matalí, J. (2016). Adolescents with behavioral disorders. How can we detect them? What is to be done? Barcelona: Sant Joan de Déu Hospital.
• Pantic, I. (2014). Online Social Networking and Mental Health. Cyberpsychology, Behavior and Social Networking, 17 (10), 652-657.
• Spear, Linda Patia (February 1, 2013). "Adolescent Neurodevelopment". The Journal of Adolescent Health, 52 (2 0 2): S7-13.