Choose to grow or prove to be good? The 2 types of mindset

Has it ever happened to you that you are sometimes afraid of growing up? Without being very clear about why? Perhaps, who does not want to reach their maximum potential and go for their most precious desires?

Then… Why don't we always make decisions that benefit our growth? That they help us to expand limits instead of staying comfortable and safe? The beliefs we hold can shed light on the issue.

We know that the beliefs we adopt about ourselves, the world we live in, and others powerfully influence the way we run our lives, the achievement of the things we value, and our ability to overcome difficulties.

It is necessary pay attention to the type of mindset you are guiding at certain times or even in specific areas of life the decisions we make and that may be limiting our ability to grow in order to act differently.

• Related article: "Personal Development: 5 reasons for self-reflection"

Carol Dweck's Two Mindsets

Carol Dweck, a professor at Stanford University in the United States, has focused her research on why people are successful and how to promote it.

He has developed his work around ways of thinking and has investigated the consequences of seeing intelligence and personality among others (artistic talents, sports or business skills, the qualities of another person or relationship) as something that can be developed or as fixed traits, deeply ingrained and immovable.

His research has shown that the beliefs that people adopt about their qualities affect the goals they strive to achieve, in how they see success and failure, the importance they give to effort and challenges, in the resilience in the face of difficulty and even the ability to grow in relationships interpersonal. He has studied two types of mindset; the Fixed and the growth.

Most people have a bit of both mindsets. They may also adopt a different mindset in different areas. The truth is that we can learn to change the way we see things.

The fixed mindset

People who adopt this mindset believe that intelligence, talents, abilities, qualities, personality are fixed characteristics. You are born with a certain amount or you are the way you are without being able to do much.

This creates the urge to prove yourself and others over and over again, that you have enough intelligence, personality, character by nature, that you are special, even superior.

His goal is focused on performing well and looking smart. They worry about being judged rather than improving, thus hiding their weaknesses rather than overcoming them. It is not enough to be successful, you need to be perfect immediately, at the first opportunity to try something. They do not take the time to become, but they have to be what they want to be. The most important thing is the result, because it is what measures them.

This objective leads to a tendency to avoid challenges since if they take risks and fail they believe that their image will be compromised and they will mean that they are not intelligent or that they do not have the skills, therefore, they prefer to stay with what they already know how to do well and even miss good opportunities Learning.

However, you have to remember what the writer Mark Twain said: "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by what you didn't do than by what you did."

Other of its characteristics are the following.

1. They give up easily to obstacles

Failure goes from being an action to an identity "I am a failure." Even, Minimal fixes and errors can be seen as a tremendous failure.

2. They devalue the effort

They believe that making an effort makes them look like little capable or intelligent or as a sign of not measuring up. If they are free of this idea, they can strive to achieve their goals and are willing to do what is necessary, but as validation of their value.

3. They ignore constructive criticism

It is more important to constantly feel validated by others than to cultivate relationships that challenge them to grow up, view their flaws with respect, help them work on them, and encourage them to learn new things. They are less likely then to get outside information that helps them generate the necessary changes.

4. Feel threatened by the success of other people

They feel that the success of others makes them look bad or like failures.

5. As a result, they can limit their development and not achieve their full potential.

Their beliefs feed into each other. It is believed that you do not change or improve much over time, you are how you are.

• You may be interested: "Low selfsteem? When you become your worst enemy"

The growth mindset

People who adopt this mindset believe that intelligence, talents, abilities, qualities, personality can be developed and cultivated through effort.

They believe that what is given to us by genetics it is just the starting point for development. It can grow over time and from passion, training, discipline and experience.

His priority is to learn, improve and enjoy the process. They don't worry about proving how good they are. They value what they do regardless of the outcome.

On the other hand, these are other of its characteristics.

1. They tend to accept challenges

They are enjoyed and they are the way to improve, expand limits and knowledge, become stronger and smarter.

2. Confront and persist in the face of obstacles

Failure, although it is a painful experience, is seen as an opportunity to learn and repair mistakes, not as something that defines them as people or defines their capabilities and worth.

3. They value the effort

From the effort the fruits are born. It is seen as necessary to grow and master important skills.

4. They learn from criticism

Negative criticism is not perceived as a definition of who they are, but rather speaks of their current level of skills or performance. They know they can change and learn to do better and they prefer relationships that challenge them to grow respectfully.

5. They find lessons and inspiration in the success of others

They are taken as examples, sources of information and learning to put into practice on the journey itself.

As a result, they promote their development and mastery, reaching high levels of performance and achievement. They feel that they are the ones who build themselves, which feed back their positive beliefs and encourages them to keep learning and improving.

Make the decision to grow day by day

Choosing to grow larger than a once-in-a-lifetime decision is a daily choice. Every step of the way we are faced with opportunities to embrace a growth mindset or a fixed mindset to what happens or we do. If we want to grow, we must allow ourselves to change the limiting ideas about our intelligence, capabilities, personality, etc.

This does not mean thinking that everything can be done, that it is desirable to change everything that we do not like, or that every challenge that arises should be taken up. It is the job of each person to determine when her beliefs are really acting as barriers to her development in the areas or goals that she values ​​and there to make changes if she wishes.

However, to grow, it is necessary to stop living for an image that others like and have the courage to explore your own path, making mistakes, taking on new challenges, valuing effort and facing obstacles, but above all enjoying and learning from life.

Bibliographic references:

• Dweck, C. S. (2008). Mindset: The New Psychology of Success. Random House; New York.