The 6 benefits of developing tolerance for frustration

A good part of the emotional and behavioral problems that psychologists work on when helping our patients have to do with low tolerance for frustration.

It is a phenomenon that not only produces discomfort, but also often leads people to self-sabotage, to create unnecessary problems very often.

Fortunately, training frustration tolerance is possibleHere we will see what that is for, and several key ideas about how it is achieved.

• Related article: "What is emotional intelligence?"

What is frustration from a psychological point of view?

Frustration is the set of thoughts, emotions and feelings that arise when there is a big difference between our expectations and the consequences of our actions, leading us to live a worse experience than expected. It should be borne in mind that when using this concept, emphasis is usually placed on its characteristics as an emotional response to a situation (that is, as an assessment of what happens to us), and not so much the literal content of the thoughts that arise in us when experiencing this.

This phenomenon can occur on all time scales; both before the small acts of the day that we carry out in a matter of minutes, and before projects that we have been working on for months. And of course, his way of expressing himself is very varied in terms of its degrees of intensity.

On the other hand, in practice, frustration is closely linked to other emotional responses such as anger or sadness, or to feelings such as disappointment and guilt, although each case is unique and not always have to give all these elements to the time.

Thus, it is frustration that we feel when after reserving a morning to work we arrive at lunchtime and we see that we have wasted time, and it is also what It arises in us when after investing time and money in a professional project we see that we are not reaching the objectives that we had set for ourselves cost effectiveness.

Finally, it should be clarified that frustration is a complex psychological phenomenon. It is affected by many variables, such as age (tolerance to frustration is absent during early childhood and develops as as we enter adolescence) or the existence of psychological disorders, and it is also influenced by the context in which we live and our experiences past. However, those who have problems in managing frustration are not condemned to suffer that discomfort indefinitely; From psychology it is possible to learn to better regulate this emotional response.

The benefits of developing tolerance for frustration

These are the main aspects in which it is noticed that a good level of tolerance to frustration benefits us.

1. It predisposes us to adopt learning habits

To learn, you have to overcome the pitfalls of the first training or study sessions in which we are very far from the goal and we have to adapt physically and mentally to new challenges. Thus, those who easily give in to frustration throw in the towel after these initial attempts.

2. Makes us better negotiators

To negotiate it is necessary to assume that the other person does not have to be receptive to what we say or propose to him at first. Thus, having tolerance for frustration allows reaching consensus by creating a conciliatory environment.

3. Helps us manage conflicts

Along the same lines as the advantage we have seen before, tolerance for frustration makes it easier for us not to give in to anger as soon as we come across someone with beliefs or interests that conflict with our own.

4. Protects us from procrastination

Many people get used to managing frustration by going to what provides some immediate relief: not facing those tasks or responsibilities, leaving them for "another time." Not falling into these dynamics allows you to do everything when you play, and incidentally enjoy better emotional well-being.

5. Makes it possible for us to learn from our mistakes

Tolerance for frustration also goes through adopt a detached and neutral perspective and take note of what we have done wrong to ensure that it does not happen again.

6. Promotes the establishment of good self-esteem

For all the above, a good tolerance for frustration reinforces a good level of self-esteem.

• You may be interested in: "Do you really know what self-esteem is?"

What to do to increase tolerance for frustration?

These are some of the psychological keys used in therapy to lead people to train frustration tolerance.

• Use of self-registers and emotion diaries
• Relaxation techniques practice
• Developing mentally healthy lifestyle habits to prevent anxiety
• Social skills training
• Application of action triggers to medium and long-term projects

Are you interested in having psychological help to manage your emotions?

If you notice that in your day to day you have problems to properly regulate your frustration or to organize your life and not self-sabotage yourself, get in touch with us. On PSiCOBAi We work offering psychotherapy for people of all ages both in the modality directed to individual patients and in couples therapy sessions. You can count on us in our psychology center or through the online format by video call.

Bibliographic references:

• Dollard, J., Miller, N. E., Doob, L. W., Mowrer, O. H. and Sears, R. R. (1939). Frustration and aggression. New Haven, CT: Yale University Press.
• Laceulle, O.M. et al. (2015). Why Not Everyone Gets Their Fair Share of Stress: Adolescent's Perceived Relationship Affection Mediates Associations Between Temperament and Subsequent Stressful Social Events. European Journal of Personality, 29 (2): 125.
• Miller, N.E. (1941), Frustration – aggression hypothesis. Psychological Review, 48 (4): pp. 337 - 42.
• Szasz, P.L.; Szentagotai, A.; Hofmann, S. (2010). The Effect of Emotion Regulation Strategies on Anger. Behavior Research and Therapy, 49 (2): pp. 114 - 119.