The 7 areas of exploration of problems in couples therapy

Couples therapy is becoming more popular and in demand. This occurs, among other things, because as time passes the stereotypical image based on myths that the intervention Psychology focuses only on individuals who have developed psychopathologies, and on the other, because the fact of "going to the psychologist" is very normalized today in day. And also, of course, due to the efficacy of this type of therapy and the development of new techniques and strategies designed to adapt to a wide variety of cases.

The latter is especially important, since couples therapy can take many forms. In fact, the process applied to people who use this service can vary greatly depending on what the needs are. to attend and the objectives to be achieved, although the context and the basic communication and therapeutic relationship guidelines are the themselves. Of course, before establishing the plan to follow throughout the sessions, it is necessary to study the case and identify what are the root problems that have motivated the consultation.

• Related article: "The 5 types of couples therapy"

The main areas of exploration of problems in couples therapy

Although each case is unique, in general, In the early stages of couples therapy, special emphasis is placed on exploring these possible sources of problems in coexistence and in the love relationship of those who go to the psychologist's office.

1. Imbalances in the distribution of responsibilities

This section includes both housework and raising children (if any) and everything related to buying products necessary to live together. Of course, This is one of the areas in which gender roles influence the most: It is common for women to carry most of the domestic work in addition to having a working life.

2. Imbalances in time spent in each other's company

It is very important to have quality time to dedicate to the other person, but not all the world values ​​this equally or has the proper perception of what the other person wants in this appearance. It is very common for it to be assumed that work always takes precedence over free time spent with a loved one, for example, as if that were part of an unspoken rule; This makes the other person frustrated or even guilty at the possibility of asking the other person to work less or to organize themselves better.

3. Sexual dissatisfaction

Asymmetries in terms of expectations, preferences and tastes in relation to sexual relations often being among the most frequent triggers of problems in dating or marriages, Y Furthermore, they are a taboo subject for many couples. For this reason, in couples therapy, many times it is analyzed whether in the field of sexuality both people are satisfied, and if they are not, why is that due.

4. Discussion management

Simply knowing how to approach a discussion can make a difference. For some people it is simply the expression of a clash of interests that can be resolved without resorting to attacks or any form of violence; For others, it is a struggle of egos in which you have to prevail at all costs, and between these two options, there is a whole scale of gray.

• You may be interested in: "12 tips to better manage couple arguments"

5. Self-esteem issues and insecurities

Personal insecurities and self-esteem issues can affect couple dynamics in many ways: not wanting to meet the other person's friends, not wanting to show one's nudity, assuming that it is the other who must make all the decisions, etc.

6. Jealousy and controlling tendencies

Jealousy leads to feeling bad for not being able to control much of what the other person does. In extreme cases they lead to mistreatment, and in such cases the problem does not have to be addressed from therapy as a couple, but from judicial procedures and the search for protection in the powers of the State.

7. Differences in future plans

This has to do both with the type of commitment that you want to establish in that relationship, and with the expectations about what you will do with your life or where you would like your life to go relationship. In many cases it is difficult to manage discrepancies in this facet of the relationship, and professional support is sought to achieve it..

Are you interested in having couples therapy services?

If you are thinking of starting a couples therapy process, get in touch with us. On PsychoConsulting we specialize in both individual-centered psychological therapy and family therapy and as a couple, and currently we offer our clients the online therapy format for video call. You will find us in our center located in Barcelona.

Bibliographic references:

• Blow, A.J. & Hartnett, K. (2005). Infidelity in Committed Relationships II: A Substantive Review. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 31: pp. 217 - 233.
• Carreño, M. (1991). Psychosocial aspects of love relationships. Santiago de Compostela: University of Santiago de Compostela.
• Dattilio, F.M. & Padesky, C.A. (2004). Cognitive therapy with couples. Bilbao: Editorial Desclée De Brouwer.
• Lepore, J. (2010). The rise of marriage therapy, and other dreams of human betterment. New York: The New Yorker.
• Sternberg, R.J. (1987). Liking vs. loving: a comparative evaluation of theories. Psychological Bulletin, 102 (3): pp. 331 - 345.