When our partner is an emotional psychopath: detect it and face it

I often see patients in consultation with the problem of being in a relationship with someone with a tendency to psychopathy, emotional bond that causes symptoms of depression or anxiety.

In this article I will explain to you how to recognize a partner who hurts us more than what he brings us and who is causing us great suffering.

• Related article: "The 8 types of emotional blackmail (and signs to detect it)"

How to recognize an emotional psychopath?

There are different areas in which we can find that profile of people who pull on us making us feel bad, demanding our attention and above all making us think at times that we are necessary in their life (but only until they well).

We must not forget that this type of people can be found in any field, whether in work or emotions, and we must be clear that if we do not know manage this kind of relationships and detect the problems associated with them, they will make us enough damage.

How to recognize the emotional psychopath? This question is interesting, given that on many occasions they will be seen coming from far away and on others it will be difficult for us to blame them for this circumstance. We must be clear that we are before

people who are experts in liking and connecting with us when it suits them. Do not forget that they always have a few points of convenience to like us. They start out as great lovers, we connect a lot in bed, they have great details ...

So that you are clear, I have written here a series of warning signs (red flags) with which to identify these aspects that define them.

1. Is unable to admit guilt or acknowledge your point of view

These people believe themselves to be beings of light, they possess the absolute truth, and if it has gone wrong, they assume it was your fault.. What they want is to make you feel bad to portray you as the cause of these problems and that you feel that you have to fix the situation. This vitiates the situation and makes you feel committed to him out of guilt.

2. Gaslighting

This is a form of emotional abuse; This is a phenomenon by which our other person makes us believe that we are wrong and that many of the things that he has done and we blame him on are lies, a failure of our perception or understanding, so in the end we suffer from their part a tremendous manipulation and self-esteem problems, which will make us depend even more on the other person.

• You may be interested in: "Gaslighting: the subtlest emotional abuse"

3. It hurts you or others

Even if he doesn't totally reject you, he constantly hurts you emotionally, taking steps so that you are always there. He may even have other relationships behind the one you have with this person, although he likes to have you there for when things go wrong. People with this profile always keep a point of mystery; they hide their mobile with you, they don't follow you on social networks, etc.

4. Isolates you from others

He asks you to only be his property, is a person who wants to have you for himself, and thus gain more control. This will also mean limiting your contact with others and therefore making you feel (falsely) that you need him / her.

How to deal with emotional psychopaths

Now that you know how to recognize a person with these characteristics, it is important to know how to face these types of subjects. For this reason, I am going to give you a series of tricks that I think will be useful.

1. Never ignore the red flags

You have to pay attention to the warning signs (associated with your discomfort and an asymmetry of power in the relationship) in order to avoid having a person by your side who is going to generate a lot of suffering.

2. Don't let me manipulate you

It is important to know that these people seek to take advantage of your emotional weaknesses in order to to be able to mold you in a way that they like. They will try to have you within arm's reach and, the moment you rebel against them, they will launch all their fury on you, making you feel bad. Why? Because they realize that they are losing someone to manipulate, and their ego will be damaged.

3. Don't let it isolate you

Have you noticed when you are going to meet friends and it seems wrong? Does he propose a plan so that you do not stay with them and thus your friendship ties deteriorate? Well that's when you notice that you are putting the isolation into practice in a discreet way.

do I help you?

It is important to ask for professional help in these cases that cause us great anguish. Sometimes we are so immersed in a relationship with someone so, having created a great emotional dependence, it is very difficult for us to overcome this situation and we need a little push.

My name is Javier Ares and I am a Psychologist specializing in problems of anxiety, depression and couples. In this case, I have decided to talk to you about this matter, since many patients who come to me with anxiety or depression have in common that they are suffering this type of abuse from their partners. Do not hesitate to contact me to start working on you.