The 5 benefits of assertive communication in personal relationships

Assertiveness is an aspect of communication that is reflected in many different ways, and in all of them, it usually brings advantages.

In life as a couple, at work, in meetings with friends... This way of communicating makes us more valued and prevents the appearance of conflicts and problems. And on the other hand, it is a communicative style that can be trained.

Taking that into account, throughout this article we will see what they are the most important benefits of assertive communication in personal relationships.

• Related article: "Conflict Resolution: Crisis or Covert Opportunities?"

What is assertively communicating?

Assertiveness is a communication style characterized by the search for the balance between respect for one's own interests and values, and respect for the interests and values ​​of the interlocutor or interlocutors, for the other.

This implies that problems due to lack of assertiveness can arise through two types of situations. For example, it may happen that we do not communicate important information

because we know that it will make the other person feel bad or lead them to get angry with us, which makes us fall in a pattern of avoiding problems in the short term (even if that means generating worse problems in the medium and long term term).

And also The opposite can happen, that we express ourselves without trying to adjust our speech to what we think the other will feel, generating unnecessary discomfort for not having empathized.

The first class of assertiveness problems are common in people with a tendency to shyness and a predisposition to create personal bonds based on dependence, while those of the second class correspond to those who have a tendency to narcissism, self-centeredness or the traits of the dark triad in general.

However, even those who often fall into these kinds of "traps" in their social relationships because of a lack of assertiveness they are able to correct that or make great strides, in most cases cases. And it is that as human beings we have a great capacity to adapt our behavior patterns to the environment and social interactions, and we can learn to enhance our assertiveness.

In fact, this is one of the most frequent objectives in psychotherapy processes with people who need to improve their social skills; Psychologists have the strategies and techniques for the person to gain fluency in that search for a balance between respect for one's own subjectivity and respect for the dignity and emotions of the the rest.

• You may be interested in: "The 28 types of communication and their characteristics"

The main benefits of assertive communication

This is a summary of the advantages and benefits of applying a good dose of assertiveness in our daily personal relationships.

1. Avoid the appearance of problems due to obstructions in communication channels

As we have already advanced, assertiveness helps prevent us from falling into the short-term logic of "avoid going through a bad drink now" without considering the problems that this can cause later.

For example, in couple relationships this helps to identify aspects of coexistence that bother us, before the discomfort by those situations makes us explode because of the frustration. In this way, it is possible to correct the problem or conflict in its earliest stages, when it has not yet generated a snowball effect.

2. Helps us get to know others better

Assertiveness predisposes us to base our personal relationships on honesty, without implying saying aloud everything we constantly think about (remember that assertiveness includes the criteria to know what is important to communicate and what not).

By exposing meaningful information about ourselves, we encourage others to do the same, and in this way we can know facets of them that in other circumstances they would not have revealed.

3. Turn our opinion into something more valued

As through assertiveness we are able to give constructive criticism Without priming ourselves on the mistakes or imperfections of others, that makes our point of view more valued and respected.

4. It allows us not to pay for the mistakes of others

Lack of assertiveness can lead some people to take on punishments or workloads for mistakes made by other people, by not daring to "reveal" who has been wrong or has broken the rules. These kinds of injustices are much less frequent in people with assertiveness.

5. It predisposes us to make our efforts valued

Another benefit of assertiveness is that it helps us to ensure that our involvement in projects or group work (in the professional sphere and also outside of it, such as raising a grandson or nephew) is respected, by not assuming that it is okay to underestimate our work.

This aspect of assertive communication allows access to better living conditions and healthier social relationships.

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