How do you notice the chemistry between two people?

The human being is a social and gregarious being that throughout history has built links with his peers in order to survive. The need to contact others and to relate is something innate to us.

But these interactions are not always the same: sometimes we can feel more similar, identified or compatible with a group or person than with others.

Sometimes we meet someone with whom we feel deeply connected, whose presence attracts us and generates well-being, excitement and joy. And although it can sometimes be difficult for us to see, there are a series of elements that can give us clues as to whether or not such chemistry exists. How do you notice the chemistry between two people? Let's see.

• Related article: "The 6 theories of interpersonal attraction"

Chemistry in relationships

Before entering to assess different indications that can indicate the existence of chemistry or mutual attraction, it may be useful to make a brief mention of the meaning of the concept we are doing reference.

The consideration of chemistry between two people is carried out between both, a series of behavioral and physical / physiological manifestations can be observed that show

the existence of a deep affinity between the two.

These manifestations, visible in the way of interacting, occur unconsciously or semi-consciously. That is, they are not the product of voluntary manipulation by any of those involved. What's more, for there to be chemistry between two, it must be bidirectional: the opposite would be mere attraction of one towards the other.

The origin of this mutual affinity has been the subject of discussion since ancient times, but among the various explanations that have been offered in this regard, we can find both biological and environmental

For example, some authors propose that chemistry is the product of an identification with the other derived from the observation of patterns of personality and behavior which coincide or resemble what we have learned throughout life that generates well-being and happiness.

This coincidence predisposes us positively towards the other person, something that in turn can make it easier for this to happen the same. To this must be added the existence of attraction on an emotional and / or physical level. Various neurotransmitters and brain nuclei participate in this sensation of proximity and interest, highlighting the role of dopamine, phenylethylamine or norepinephrine. The influence of pheromones in this process has also been proposed.

It should be noted that although it is a concept that generally It is used mainly when talking about relationships or affective-sexual attraction, the idea of ​​the existence of chemistry between people is not limited to this area. In fact we can talk about the existence of chemistry with friends, family or even in the workplace.

Signs of this compatibility between people

Next we will see a series of aspects to take into account that can serve as indications of the existence of attraction and chemistry between two people, or by one of them towards the other. Keep in mind that you are talking about signs, not a clear and unambiguous sign of attraction.

Likewise, said attraction does not have to be solely or may not even include physical or sexual attraction.

Finally, the signs to which we are going to refer are going to be behaviors or physical changes that can be observed regardless of the sex of said people; are valid for both men and women.

1. Gaze centered on the other

When there is chemistry between two people, one of the clearest indications of existing interest can be seen in the gaze of both.

Specifically, in the time spent looking at the other. Generally, when feeling attraction to another person, one tends to look (not necessarily in the eyes) for a large proportion of time at that person, compared to the attention paid to the rest.

It is relatively easy to observe, especially in group situations.

2. Pupillary dilation

The attraction generates that unconsciously our pupils dilate in such a way that all the possible light enters the interior of the eye, so that we can observe the other in more detail.

3. Search for the other

A sign of the existence of chemistry between two people is the fact that they tend to search for each other, that is, even at the unconscious level they seek a contact or encounter with the other person. This is more revealing if there are frequent encounters between two people who live in very different points.

4. Smile and laugh

Another sign is found in the fact that two people who feel mutual attraction will tend to smile constantly in a natural way, like reflection of the feelings of well-being implied by the presence of the other person.

Likewise, it is usual that if there is interest between two people, the sense of humor is higher and that there is a tendency to laugh easily at any positive or humorous comment.

5. Search for shared interests

Among the behavioral signals that reveal the existence of interest and chemistry between two people is the presence and / or pursuit of multiple shared interests. In this sense, there is a mutual interest in knowing the opinion and tastes of the other, even without a specific purpose. Also, if common elements are found they can be used to encourage interaction.

6. Prolonged conversations

When there is chemistry between two people, it is usual that the conversation with the other person can go on indefinitely, and it can even there is the feeling of losing track of time.

At this point, however, it must be borne in mind that shy people may fear prolonging the conversation and being quite concise, without for that reason there is a lack of interest (in fact, precisely because of him it may be more hard).

Now, it is possible that what arouses interest is the topic of conversation and not the person himself, so this fact should be taken into account and not jump to jump to conclusions.

7. Physical distance

Another factor that can indicate the presence of attraction or chemistry between two people is in the distance that separates them.

It is common for two people attracted to each other to tend to get closer and reduce the distance between them. In fact, in many cases both people can enter into personal space (the distance that We tend to keep with others and that if someone trespasses, it can become uncomfortable for the other without it being invasive.

8. Direct physical contact

We live in a society where physical contact is not as frequent as it might seem. In general, and except when greeting each other, we do not usually touch with other people unless they are very close to us. However when there is attraction or chemistry it is common for there to be spontaneous physical contact, such as touching or brushing the arm, face, back, or hands.

9. Orientation of the feet

Another indication of attraction between two people is found in the orientation of their feet. It is usual that we unconsciously point one or both feet in the direction of the person who arouses our interest.

10. Body orientation

Likewise, it is common that we tend to orient our body in such a way that both people are face to face, with the shoulders and torso aligned with those of the other person. This does not imply a mutual chemistry per se since it can happen due to numerous factors, but if both people seek to be face to face could be a clue.

11. Imitation

When there is chemistry between two people, they usually imitate, at an unconscious level, the behaviors of the other. We copy or acquire habits or actions, but also aspects such as modulating the tone of voice to adjust it to the from the other, gestures, ways of speaking and even moving around (for example, we imitate the rhythm at which the other walks).

12. Complicity and trust

Another aspect that tells us about the existence of chemistry between two people is the existence of complicity and ease of trusting the other. It is common for a person with whom we have chemistry to unconsciously tend to be able to trust him with more things than the rest. In the same way, it is easier for us to feel understood by the other.

13. Empathy

Deeply linked to the previous point, it is usual that when there is mutual interest and chemistry there is greater ease to try to understand the thoughts, opinions and emotions of the other, in addition to being relatively simpler put on his place and imagine what may be going through your mind.

This fact is relevant when comparing the one that exists with that person with the one that you normally have with most people.

14. Disposition towards the other

Finally, it is common for two people who are attracted to also greatly increase their disposition towards the other. We are neater and more generous and we dedicate more time and effort to spend time and / or perform acts that please or help the person we are interested in.

Bibliographic references:

• Buss, D. M., & Shmitt, D. P. (1993). Sexual strategies theory: A contextual evolutionary analysis of human mating. ‘’ Psychological Review ’’: 100, 204-232.
• Carreño, M. (1991). Psychosocial aspects of love relationships. Santiago de Compostela: University of Santiago de Compostela.