Interview with an expert psychologist in gender violence

The theme of the gender violence it is still very topical. Year after year, society laments the scourge of physical abuse within families. Although in the last decade the data on fatalities has been timidly reducing, this beginning of the year 2016 is being especially disastrous: eight women have been murdered at the hands of their partners or ex-partners in the first 28 days of January.

Source: Ministry of Health, Social Services and Equality, Government of Spain

Interview with the psychologist Patricia Ríos

This situation of permanent violence has generated a social and judicial effort that seems not to bear the necessary results yet. Victims of abuse are often people who feel helpless and invisible. It is for this reason that we found it very interesting to be able to talk with Patricia Rios, a clinical psychologist with an extensive curriculum and who has specialized in treating abused people.

Bertrand Regader: Good morning, Patricia. Tell us: what is your professional background in the field of gender violence?

Patricia Ríos: In my private practice I have found myself several cases of gender violence, especially to women, but also to men and even adolescents.

I have also been able to get in touch with the other side of the equation, working in group intervention with a group of men convicted of crimes of gender violence. And I have to say that it has been an enriching experience.

B. A.: Violence of gender, domestic, sexist, intrafamily... What nuances does each of these denominations introduce and which one do you prefer to use?

In gender violence we should encompass every violent act carried out by one "gender" against the other, in this way, it is no longer only the man who exercises violence and the woman who suffers it, but it can also occur and does in fact occur, on the contrary: that it is the woman who exercises the violence and the man who does it. suffers. In the latter case, the abuse is usually psychological, although physical abuse by women towards men also exists and occurs.

The sexist violence It is the aspect that refers only to the violence exerted by a man against a woman, usually when they maintain a very close relationship.

When talking about domestic violence, it is a type of violence that goes beyond the type of aggression that men deploy against women and women against men, includes violence practiced between relatives of a household (and not only between members of the couple) or even between people who, without being relatives, live under the same the ceiling.

Finally, the domestic violence, is one that is exercised within a family among its members. Where the minors are always the most affected.

As you can see, all of them include the same common factor, violence between people, whether they are of the same or different, gender, race, sex and / or age. If we take into account all the variables, the current typologies of violence, since none of it speaks of violence between people of the same sex. So personally and jointly, I like to call it interpersonal violence.

B. A.: Psychological abuse is also a form of violence. What forms does it usually take?

Psychological abuse is perhaps the most common type of violence, although it remains a taboo subject in society, keeping it still in a type of deaf, mute and invisible violence.

As all types of violence are also based on power, domination and coercion, it ranges from contempt and verbal abuse to much more subtle such as the control of the economy, the way of dressing, the frequency of social activity, and the control by the aggressor in social networks and technologies.

B. A.: It can be the prelude to violence, let's say, physical.

Yes. I would like to emphasize that psychological abuse, certainly, is usually the prelude to abuse physical, it is the aggressor's way of making sure that his victim will not charge against he. Therefore, psychological abuse is neither less serious nor less alarming, but it is or should be, at least, a warning that something is wrong.

B. A.: Based on your experience dealing with these cases, do you consider that there is still a certain cultural residue that justifies violence within the couple? Or do you think people are gradually becoming aware of this social problem?

More and more people are becoming aware of this problem although, unfortunately, it is a problem that continues to slow down late. The environment ignores many signs, due to sheer ignorance, and the people affected do not always have the courage to say so, much less if the victim is a man.

The cultural legacy you are talking about continues to exist, and I believe that there is still a long way to go before it goes down in history. Older people keep it out of shame and guilt, and young people, on many occasions out of ignorance and fear.

It is not uncommon either, public bodies continue, in a way, to blame the victim, although this is less and less. In my professional experience, I have found cases in which the victim is dissuaded by the workers themselves from making the complaint viable, due to comments such as:

"You will have done something"

"That happens to you for ignoring him"

"Don't be a babe and make things clear to her"

It is never an easy task for a victim of abuse, whether male or female, to face their own fears and shame and take legal action. Much less when the answer that is received is in line with the comments.

B. A.: What is the emotional and psychological state of people who have been abused and go to therapy?

The mood is always low, too low. Victims of abuse have experienced extreme situations with great impact, if not traumatic. The severity of the effects depends on the type of violence suffered, its intensity, its intention, the means used and also the characteristics of the victim and the aggressor.

In general, they are people with a very damaged personality, who manifest great insecurity, poor self-concept, changes in mood, and a high level of distrust. Some people often show symptoms of depression, anxiety, thoughts, and even unsuccessful suicide attempts.

The most common comments made by victims of abuse are “he deserved it”, “He loves me but he got out of hand "," I misbehaved "," He had no choice "," If I ask for help they will laugh at me / not me they will believe ”.

B. A.: What is, broadly speaking, the psychotherapeutic and legal intervention that a psychologist performs in such a case?

It is something quite complicated. Psychologists are obliged to maintain confidentiality with our patients, but Also like any other citizen, we have the legal obligation to report any type of crime. Although joining these two obligations in the health professions is always a double-edged sword.

The first thing that comes to mind is to report the case to the authorities, and that is a very wise decision when we talk about minors. However, when we talk about people of legal age or even mature minors, help must always prevail as the first option.

We must not forget that anyone who confesses a case of violence to us is opening up the door to a very difficult secret and as we have already said, silenced, in action or omission by the environment.

The easiest option is to agree with the affected person the limits of our confidentiality and make it very clear that It will be broken without prior consent in the event that any life (one's own or that of third parties) is threatened. Once this is established with the victim, there is a long process where issues such as self-esteem, social skills, self-love and knowing how to set limits, among others, are worked on.

B. A.: What points in common do people who exercise physical or psychological abuse have? Can we talk about a typical profile or are there very different abusers?

Excluding mental pathologies, they are people with low emotional intelligence, they share a really low self-esteem, and therefore, a high level of insecurity, the assumption of responsibility is external, with little tolerance for frustration and a low level of emotional management and empathy towards themselves and others.

In my experience I was able to verify that they feel bad about themselves, some even hate themselves, and the more they hate each other and the worse they feel, the more likely they are to commit some kind of violence.

B. A.: Deaths due to gender violence seem to be increasing in recent years. In fact - as we have seen the table provided by the Ministry of Health - in the little that we have been in the year there have already been eight people murdered. What measures should the incoming government take to minimize this phenomenon?

Giving information on how to approach the plaintiffs would be the most important, because as I have mentioned before, it is not uncommon for public bodies to blame the victim.

Leaving that aside, there have been great advances in this matter, now there are more means such as telephones to call anonymously and totally free, there are numerous aid groups and judicial measures, although not as much as before, the source. Information and prevention of this problem from the early years in schools.