'They stand me up a lot': 5 ​​tips on what to do

It always happens that we had a plan with a friend, a special person or, simply, with someone we met last week and, in the end, it does not appear.

We all have unforeseen events and, also, we may not like to meet one day but there is a great The difference between having a bad day and not being able to meet directly to stand up to others in a systematic.

Being dumped every two by three is not good for our self-esteem since no one wants to feel rejected. If you are one of those who often complain about "constantly standing me up" this article is for you. Let's look at a few tips on what to do.

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I am often dumped: what can I do?

Most of us enjoy meeting other people to go to a bar, restaurant, go for a walk, or simply stay with someone we know. Whether it's a friend, a boyfriend or a date, the truth is that meeting someone is usually a moment of interaction that is part of the human need for sociability. We may call ourselves “antisocial”, but in most cases we like to spend time with other people.

Unfortunately, sometimes our plans are cut short. After showering, dressing, getting ready and preparing to meet our date, our group of friends or just to see someone we haven't seen for a long time goes and tells us that he can't stay, that it happened something. He may not even tell us anything at all, that he either expects us to assume it or, for surprising (and irritating) as it may seem, you have forgotten that you had reserved today with U.S.

One, two, or a few more times is tolerable. Everyone has an unforeseen event at times and you don't have to feel bad about not being able to attend. We must recognize that even we ourselves can be lazy to stay one day and that, assertively, we decide to cancel the plan. Now, If they leave us planted a lot, it is common to think that something bad is happening and, even, we think that it is our faultThat the person who was supposed to like seeing us turns out that at the end of everything he is not so interested in us.

The reasons behind a person ditching us are many and, really, if things are not talked about or He asks why he did not appear when we had agreed, it is impossible for us to guess the reason for his seedling. Whatever happened (or what you wanted) we can hardly do anything for your part, but we can do for ours. We can continue a series of tips to better manage the seedling and that at least we do not get a greater disgust than what is already supposed to be planted.

1. Try to locate our appointment

First of all, we must not assume that we have been dumped for no reason. Sometimes things happen, and something bad may have happened to our date. Whether it is a trusted friend or a new friend or potential partner, it is best to try to locate it, find out if something has happened that explains the delay or absence of it.

This is something that we may not consider with a person who has already stood us up before, but the best thing is to at least try to see where he is. If you are still home and it seems that you have not prepared, then at least we know that we have been expecting more.

It may sound strange, but there really are people who forget they were on a date. It's not that they're bad people, they're just forgetful and by locating them and reminding them that they had a plan, the situation can be solved a bit. The sit-in is already insured, but at least we know that it is not voluntary.

If, on the other hand, he does not deign to give us signs of life or it sounds like he is inventing an excuse not to meet, then it is clear that we do not give much equal to that person. In this case, let him stay in his little house, we better set up the party by ourselves.

2. Keep calm

It is obvious that being left standing there is not going to sit well with us, but it is not worth losing calm for someone who has not come, be it consciously or simply because they have forgotten.

At the moment when we know that whoever was supposed to come is not coming, the best we can do is prevent the situation from getting worse. We should try to stay calm, avoid getting angry, much less calling and reprimanding the other party for not coming.

We have the right to be angry, of that there is no doubt, but we must also try to keep a cool mind because you can say a lot of nonsense while hot and we never know if something serious has really happened or the someone else has started to feel anxious and canceled plans at the last minute because he doesn't know how manage it.

Besides, what good is it to be angry when they have stood us up again? If it is something that has happened to us before, we cannot lose our cool every time it happens, since we will lose a lot of mental health over time. Best accept it and start to stop counting on that person for future plans.

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3. Don't feed the drama

It sounds weird to think that we can act normal when they just dumped us. The other party may not be able to see the negative side of not having given enough notice that he was not coming.

It may be that he really does not do it the wrong way, that this is the way of him and that he does not really fall into how bad it can be for someone else to come up with a plan so that it doesn't lead to cape.

If he writes to us after a while as if nothing had happened, the best we can do is act in the same way, showing that This situation has not affected us and, if it is a date or a person in whom you do not have so much confidence, it is best to be worthy Y not magnify what we care not to come.

4. Not take revenge

As much damage as being dumped does us, revenge is not the solution. It is very ugly and the only thing we will achieve is to enlarge the ball of disappointments, disappointments and bad vibes.

We cannot pretend to demand punctuality and that when we see that they do not comply with the plans, we will leave that person lying next time. This, far from being seen as a lesson with his own medicine, the other person will understand it as something bad, and you will begin to feel free to justify your future absences with a "but you also stood me up."

5. Enjoy the moment

Typical situation of meeting a friend: we have said to go to a bar at 5pm. We arrive at the establishment on time, we wait and wait and see that this "good" friend does not come. And now that?

Well, if life gives you lemons make lemonade. We cannot pretend to be in a bad mood in a bar because the other one is not coming. The idea was to meet him but, if he does not come, since we are there we take advantage of the moment and ask for something to drink.

Whether he leaves us standing because he wants to or if something bad has happened, the best we can do is not get bitter. Nobody prevents us from enjoying the afternoon because they have stood us up.

Sometimes it is better to be alone than in bad company, and it may even help us to meet someone new in that place and if not we can always call another friend who is more reliable and who will fill in the absence of the other.